I'd definately have to vote for both, too.
I'm angry when I hear my five year old quoting her father's JW-isms, and when she feels she can't tell him
what she's really feeling because she knows already, at this young age, that he'd rather hear the'right
answer than what she really feels in her heart.
I get angry when my sister insists that I'm under the influence of Satan just for thinking for myself.
When my mother mindlessly obeys Society decrees that even she knows are ridiculous, just because
"it's Jehovah's Organization and I'll be faithful until I die"
I'm overwhelmingly sad when I hear about my closer-than-sisters cousins. Knowing that they can't
just pick up the phone and call me when they miss me. My last memory of them is of them hugging me,
crying and telling me that I "have to come back".
Some days the sadness is so much I can't look at the websites. Sometimes I can't even work on my own
webpage because I just can't think about it another moment. I want to be free, I want to just leave
it all behind. Then I get another letter from someone who is where I was and I just can't turn away.
I want freedom from the whole mess for myself, my daughter, and my poor husband, who has
never been a witness and shakes his head daily, totally unable to understand the mindset.
I guess I'm just working toward that freedom one day at a time, and until then taking the emotions
as they come.
I didn't have professional help about leaving the JW's but I had it before that: and I know that it helped.
I would definately tell anyone who is overwhelmed to find a good therapist. That means that you
keep looking and trying them out until you find one you can really talk to. It's worth it.
Peace,
Essie
The Four Agreements:
Be Impeccable With Your Word
Don't Take Anything Personally
Don't Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best
