Good one you, more and more exjws need to stand up and not take it anymore. This will cripple the cult.
Family Reuinion and Being Disfellowshipped (sorry...but it's long)
by babygirl30 36 Replies latest jw friends
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babygirl30
It really is funny that they consider their treatment of me "loving" and supposedly a motivation to bring me back! Even worse, all this in humane treatment does not serve as a witness to anything but selfishness and hypocrisy. My parents looked and acted uncomfortable - which although I probably shouldnt admit it - but it made me HAPPY! Still, that awkwardness was not enough for them to at the very least ne civil...say hi...short and sweet. The ONLY comment I overheard that my mother said was that she stated she didnt recognize me because I gained weight?! My aunt said to my mom "you should be ashamed of yourself for acting like you dont recognize your own daughter". Per my aunts, my mom was so embarrassed by being called out, that she got up and walked out the room crying. It is so pathetic. The drama THEY cause all over following the religion.
As for that nonsense that parents are aable to choose whether to associate or not with their DF children is bs. I had a C.O. come to my house years ago (when I was actually trying to go back to JWs) and told me that the directive was that a df person was to have no contact with any JW - family or not. And he informed me he was going to talk to my parents and 'remind them' of this same directive. It was since that point, my parents have no dealings with me at all. I get all information regarding their health 2nd hand (my aunts or uncles tell me), which sucks. And when my beloved pet was put down, I was told about it and when I called to find out what happened, my mother answers and starts crying...tells me she cant give me any of my pets belongings until as she states "you get your life together, then Id be happy to give it all to you". In my state, there have been major snow storms, tornado warnings, and a hurricane...not once has my family EVER called to check on me. And Ive been without power for days due to a storm! So you csn treat me like ai dont exist...yet when family asks WHY...your answers are always "ask her - she knows why" and when I tell everyone it is religion based, Im called a liar. Its a lose/lose situation, and Im just now learning to stop fighting. Its a waste of my time and energy.
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under the radar
I am so proud of you for standing your ground and holding your head high at the family reunion. You go, girl!
Actually, your parents' actions had the opposite effect of what they intended. Their cold and unloving attitude gave a "bad witness" and brought "reproach on Jehovah's name." You dad's unappreciative and self-righteous shunning of you after you "saved his bacon" by bringing the forgotten meat was noted and commented on. Then when he lied about his reasons for treating you that way, he undermined whatever vestige of respect the others may have had for him and his beliefs before. The fact that he felt the need to deny that he was obeying a major teaching of his religion put it in a bad light as well. It exposed the hypocrisy of the "one true religion™."
Your sister is in a tough spot. Maybe one day you can be completely reconciled. It's shameful the way your parents are coercing her into going along with them.
Frankly, I'm surprised your parents even showed up once they knew you were coming. Some JW's in my family have tried to guilt me into not coming to family events by saying that if I did, they would not be able to. They did succeed in keeping me from the gathering that followed my dad's memorial service by threatening to create a scene. I guess they were afraid my "apostacooties" would contaminate the JW family and friends who would be there, even though it was at a public restaurant. When my aunt passed away, my sister treated the other family members to dinner after the service but was adamant that no one was to tell me about it, even though I had flown in from 1500 miles away, rented a car, and booked a hotel room just to be at the service. Not everyone agreed with excluding me, but no one spilled the beans. I found out later. As an aside, my aunt's will had been changed within the last year to name only one beneficiary. Guess who it was...
Anyway, I decided that from then on, I would go to whatever family events I was invited to without regard to who else was coming or not coming. If someone didn't want to show up because I might be there, so be it. Their loss.
About a year ago, there was big reunion for family on my mother's side. None of the JW's showed up, though to be fair, some had perfectly valid reasons why they couldn't make it. Regardless, my Extremely Significant Other and I attended and we were embraced with the love and kindness and hospitality you would expect at a family reunion, all from "worldly" relatives. Draw your own conclusion.
Congratulations for standing up for yourself, and for helping your family see the truth about how your parents are treating you and the real reason why. You're an inspiration to everyone here.
Thank you so much for sharing this story. Let us know how things go.
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rebel8
I'm glad you went. I'm all for letting the dubs be the outliers, especially when that makes them look like toxic nutjobs to others.
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umbertoecho
I have been here a short time, but reading your post gave a sense of familiarity that I personally relate to.
I think that one of the greatest things that will happen to your' parents, will be the fact that you outlive them. Sounds terrible doesn't it? But, it's true. You will outlive these self righteous and bitter people who have achieved zero in terms of applying genuine love to the world.
Very glad for you and sorry too.
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Perry
I enjoyed your story very much. I was feeling down several years ago about the practices of Jehovah's Witnesses. I have long likened the Watchtower to the Sicilian mafia, where you can join but can't later leave without consequences.
A friend of mine changed my perspective.
My friend is an ex-Detroit SWAT Team cop. He also served in the armed forces during the Vietnam conflict. He was also raised in an Islamic family, but later became a bible-believing Christian when he was well into adulthood.
He explained to me that when he became a Christian, his father looked him in the eye and told him that he was lucky to live in America, because if they were back in Pakistan he would be required to kill him.
Jehovah's Witnesses are not required to kill us for leaving the Watchtower printing company. I began to see myself as being in relatively pretty good shape compared to hundreds of millions of Muslims. Many are not as fortunate.
From the Hadith:
The reason why executing apostates has always been well-ensconced in Islamic law is that there is an indisputable record of Muhammad and his companions doing exactly that according to the reliable Hadith.
According to verse 4:80 of the Quran: "Whoso obeyeth the Messenger obeyeth Allah."
Bukhari (52:260) - "...The Prophet said, 'If somebody (a Muslim) discards his religion, kill him.' "
Note that there is no distinction as to how that Muslim came to be a Muslim.
There is always someone who has it worse.
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Marvin Shilmer
...my one uncle was offended that my dad has the nerve to have me bring the food that he forgot, yet couldn't bring himself to even say 'thank you'.
Somewhere someone once cited a bit of text suggesting a time when natural affection would cease. (I wonder where that could be???) As I recall this bit of text was/is oft used by JWs in relation to "the world". Yet we see this utter lack of natural affection among JWs in the most simple of acts, like the one above.