I totally agree with all comments made so far on this subject. If your were born into the relgion you had no choice, and you have to wonder about the mental conditions of the parents that choose this religion. My mom was only 16 or 17 when the witnesses came knocking at her door, she was alone during the day, preg. with me and missed her family very much. To add to that her mother disapproved of everything she had done . She was a prime target for the witnesses to take her under their wing, wasnt long before Dad went for it to. The rest is history for me. Born and breed in the JW.
I had mental basket cases for parents and they passed the basket to me. I suffered from exactly what Faraon on said, ,,, I went agaist my own conscious being a JW, even thou it was all I knew. My parents were the biggest jw hypocrites ever and I saw that , didnt understand it all at the time,thou. It went against my conscious as a JW that God would destroy EVERYONE but JW's at armeggedon, it bothered me about d/f and shunning. It just didnt seem very Christ like at all. I saw too many cover ups and bullcrap to know something was not right, yet I couldnt walk away from it. I became emotionally addicted to my weekly "mind beatings" for my sinful thoughts and actions , at every meeting. After a person is put thru hearing what crap they are for not putting in more time in service etc. they begin to learn how to torment themselves.
We torment ourselves , with our own conscious, we are taught by the WT that everything should bother our conscious and if it doesnt then something is wrong. Then we try and make it happen.
Can you see how exhausting this is, no wonder so many JW go to their room and lock the door.
I guess that is why when you see the end of the rope , you grab it , the end of my rope was last year . I found the internet and hung on for dear life. It helped me to ease my conscious, by seeing how off balance I was a person. Talking to others helped me see that we all felt the same way, and we were not isolated cases. It was spooky about how much we had in common, the same story just different places and faces. It helped me to let the real me come out, my conscious stopped being my enemy and I gave it a good rest for awhile. LOL.
Like I said before , the mind games the WT uses, all the double talk , the changes , the coverups the lies, just take a toll on the mind of one who wants so desperatly to believe and to trust.
It is hard to learn to use you mind , all by yourself , alone without the WT telling you how to think. But doing so has been a rewarding thing for me. I don't fight my inner being as much anymore, I am accepting myself and even am beginning to like myself. I am still recovering , so bare with me. LOL