My Girlfriend Admitted Adultery, Is she still a JW

JohnHenry

I've been dating a woman who is a JW and is currently going through a divorce from an abusive relationship. ; She has admitted adultery (stupid) though there was never any proof. ; She did mention something about excommunticated, but it's difficult to get answers from her because she doesn't want to talk about it. ; That is probably because I'm Atheist, and obviously her views are opposite of mine. ; But I'm having trouble getting a straight answer from anyone at this point. ; If she is excommunicated is she still a JW? ; Any help would be greatly appreciated. ; Thanks.

wasasister

If a JW admits to a disfellowshipping offense (and adulter qualifies), there is no need for proof. A confession is proof. What happens next depends on several factors.

If she says she is sincerely sorry and promises never to do it again, if she weeps and the elders think the tears are genuine, if she happens to get a committee of brothers who are sympathetic to her and not hard liners; IF all of those things happen, she may be privately reprooved.

You haven't supplied very much information. For instantance, you said she is in the process of obtaining a divorce.

Is she still living with her husband under the same roof?

Is she still attending meetings?

Are you the other party to the adultery?

Do you intend to marry her?

Is her husband in good standing in the congregation and do the elders know/believe the abuse?

Does she want to remain a JW?

If you answer these questions, we may be able to answer yours.

Wasa

PS to Simon: what is up with the formatting of the above post?

Lady Lee

Once they throw her out she will no longer be considered a JW.

She could choose to grovel to get back in

And be totally ignored if she does want back in

Hopefully she will run

But there is always the chance that if they think she is repentant they will forgive her and not toss her out

But they will want ALL the details first - and I mean ALL

JohnHenry

Thanks for the reply's. Now here is the rest. Her husband moves out next week, though she has been living with him since the confession about a month ago. As far as I know she is not attending meetings. I am the other party to the adultery. Marriage has not been discussed, but I wouldn't rule it out. Her husband is in good standing and I believe the elders even know about the abuse, they just don't care, like her mother and sister. I'm not sure if she wants to remain a JW or not. Though I would want her to run away as fast as she can, I wouldn't want to be the only reason.

Satanus

Jw's who get disfellowshipped (dfd) aren't techincally jw's, but unless they are dfd for apostacy, they generally still believe the wt stuff. So, they are jw's in their minds and hearts. That is unfortunate, because from then on, they are like on death row, waiting for the wt god to kill them in armageddon. The cure for this is deprogramming. It means showing them that the main wt teachings are false, and the wt itself is a false organisation. It's a tough job. It takes a a long time.

SS

wasasister

You are in a very difficult situation. I understand emotions are involved, but you should proceed with great caution.

This woman is not entirely free to form a new attachment.

Because of the abusiveness of her ex, she may be wanting a savior.

It's possible you are the first male in a long time to treat her with respect and compassion.

Those can be very powerful aphrodesiacs to a woman. She may confuse her gratitude towards you with love.

It would probably be best to stay away from her until she is completely past the divorce

and decides what to do about her religious beliefs.

It's a confusing time for her, leaving everything she once believed in.

Both of you could get very hurt.

Good luck. You'll need it.

Wasa/using hard returns to get around this stupid formatting.

Did somebody lose the word-wrap???

wasasister

BTW, the simple, direct answer to your original question is:

Yes, she is still a JW until she is disfellowshipped by a judicial committe and the

decision to disfellowship is announced (barring an appeal by her.)

That's just a technical thing, tho. People may already shun her if they know of the adultery.

Lost Diamond

I agree with Wasasister 100%!

JohnHenry

So now might be a good time to explain the who cult thing?

Maybe get her to see some of my points?

Or will someday down the road, all of my efforts will be pointless when she lays there is the ER refusing blood.

I really love this woman, I wish there was some way to know if I'm just setting myself up.

SPAZnik

Though I would want her to run away as fast as she can, I wouldn't want to be the only reason.

Very insightful. I wish you both the best, whatever difficult decisions you make.

My Girlfriend Admitted Adultery, Is she still a JW

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