Life sucks

by joannadandy 36 Replies latest jw friends

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  teenyuck

  {{{{{Joanna}}}}} {{{{{Kitty}}}}}

  I feel for you....your kitty is a part of your life and family. Love her til the end.

  T
• 

  ugg

  this is major, major saddness and trauma....sending hugs,love, and understanding...oh god,,,how

  awful for you....yes,,,life sucks!!
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  Undecided

  Life doesn't suck, death sucks!!!

  Ken P.
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  pomegranate

  Life is good. It's death that sucks. Bad.
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  pomegranate

  Wow. Look at the time stamps on me and undecided!!

  I believe that's what's called a stereo post.

  Jo, I had just recently put down one of my Lhasa's...that too sucked.
• 

  Silverleaf

  {{{{Joanna}}}}

  Sometimes our pets are the best friends we have. When my dog is stretched out on the floor like a big rug, if I just talk to him from across the room his tail wags. When I get up in the morning he follows me around and plasters his head to my leg. If I move an inch, he moves an inch so his head stays plastered to my leg until he's had enough 'Mommy time'. Sometimes that's more attention than I get from my kids.

  It's more than okay to grieve for the loss of that kind of unconditional love.

  Silverleaf
• 

  Sentinel

  Joanna,

  I'm so sad for you. There is nothing that can replace the closeness of a favorite pet. Yes, they are just "animals", but when an animal bonds with a human, there is a connection that is so loving, so loyal, so understanding.

  Through my life, I've had several pets that died, however, they died because they were ill and had to be put to sleep, or because they ran away and never came back, or killed by a motor vehicle. You are very fortunate to have had your cat for so long. She has indeed lived a very full life. The responsible and loving thing to do, is to let her fall asleep in the appropriate facility.

  My son had a favorite cat, and the cat had leukemia. He chose to give her medications and he laid on the bed next to her when she passed away. It was just too much for him. He can't get it out of his mind. She took her final breathe, and he cried and cried. My son was 30 at the time. He had two dogs and another cat, but this was his favorite.

  Once I had a cat. She was a beautiful Russian Blue, so tender and loving. Always there right beside me and sensitive to my moods. Then our life circumstances changed, and instead of living in a house where she had freedom to be an outdoor/indoor cat, we had to go to a small apartment. She could not adjust, and I felt so sorry for her. I wanted her to have a "happy" cat life. So, after having her for nine years, since she was a very tiny little newborn, I found a good home for her. It broke my heart, and I told my husband that I would never have another pet. No other cat could replace my "KittyPooh".

  I waited over ten years before even considering the idea again. We had bought our first home, but there were too many dogs around. I was uncertain and it took me another couple of years to give it a try again. That first attempt to take an older cat proved terrible. That cat was not happy with us, and we didn't have the patience to allow her to destroy our furniture, etc. while we were at work. After another six months, we tried again. That's when we got our little Ginger, a rather sickly little thing. We've had her a year. Now we have our second little kitten, we named June. They are trying to adapt to each other.

  For me, having a pet, gets me "outside" of myself. It helps me to have unconditional love from an entirely different source.

  I hope that in time you will consider a new pet. The new pet will never replace your beloved one, but it does help. And, there are so many animals that need good homes, especially cats.

  My heart goes out to you. Please feel better.

  Sentinel/Karen
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  Crystal

  (((((((((((JoAnna))))))))))
  http://web.vet.cornell.edu/public/petloss/
  Grieving the Loss of a Pet

  Grief is a process of physical, emotional, social and cognitive reactions to loss. The grieving process is hard to work through! One needs to be patient with themselves or others experiencing loss. Studies have found that people often go through stages or phases of grief. Although responses to loss are as diverse as the people experiencing it, patterns of stages commonly experienced have emerged. Some stages of grief reactions are described below.

  Shock/Denial:
  A feeling of numbness can last hours to weeks. It is a period often described as "unreal", (i.e. being amazed to have made it through a euthanasia). Some reactions people experince during this stage are: having disorganized thoughts, feeling unaffected, thinking about suicide, feeling numb, being euphoric or hysterical, feeling outside their body, or being talkative, hyper or passive. Other people will feel in denial of the loss. (i.e. "I can't believe he is really gone...it just doesn't seem real.)

  Searching/Yearning:
  People will often find themselves acutely missing the pet that is gone. Individuals in this phase can be pre-occupied with thoughts of the deceased; they may have dreams about the pet who is gone. Reactions experienced may also include sensing that one sees or hears the pet outside their home. Feelings commonly experienced are intense pining, sadness, fear, anger, relief, irritability, guilt and yearning. Sometimes anger is not directed at the loss, but instead towards a family member, veterinarian, self or God. During this period individuals may find themselves bursting into tears at unexpected times. People may also experience physical illness, pain, weight change, fatigue and change in appetite.

  Disorganization:
  During this phase individuals are beginning to live their lives without their animal companion and learning new skills. This commonly leads to feeling disorganized, as well as needing to evaluate and learn different ways of managing life (i.e. how to fill that empty spot when coming home without someone to greet you).

  Reorganization:
  People in grief forget that grief is a process and that through this process, new coping skills are learned. The pet who is gone is usually never forgotten. In the case of death, most individuals never "get over" the loss. However, survivors learn to live with loss. The intensity of the loss changes, and a survivor can rejoin life. One finds that they can eat and sleep. Individuals may establish new relationships with pets. Sadness and crying still occur at times, while simultaneously increased happiness will be experienced.

  Used with permission from Jennifer Marshall, CSW.
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  Robdar

  ((((((((((((Joanna)))))))))))))),

  My heart goes out to you.

  You are right. Your cat gave you unconditional love. She has never turned against you, betrayed you, or gossiped about you behind your back. She was there, right beside you, through the good times and the bad. A little animal won't turn against you when times get rough.

  Your cat was so fortunate to have you. You have been a good friend to her and have enriched her life. I am sure that she was pleased to return the favor.

  Do not listen to those who would tell you not to grieve because she is only an animal. Because she wasn't. She was your friend, your companion, your kitty. Anybody who doesn't understand that has never known the love of a sweet animal. I pity those people because they have never known the beautiful and sacred friendship that can only be shared with a pet.

  It may take you a long time to recover from the grief that you feel. I wish you well during the next few months.

  Love,

  Robyn

  Edited by - robdar on 16 September 2002 9:46:24
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  rocky220

  ((((((((Joanna)))))))), I never thought I'd write about my cat who's passed on. His name was Onyx Moon, nicknamed "Moonie", jet black with the biggest golden yellow eyes you've ever seen, I got him at the age of six months at the ASPCA adoption center where believe it or not.....he picked me! That was in 1983...in 1998 I was in the hospital with a very bad gallbladder attack, anyway when I got home.....he already 15yrs old by now his health was failing but mom didnt tell me...died in his sleep 2 days after I came home from hospital.....he waited for me to come home to say goodbye....and sometimes I still "feel" him about.....so Joanna, I know how you feel. Just know our pets never really leave us...he was like the "old" man of the house, easy going and would put up with anything, always slept with me.....much love to you and your kitty......rocky220