It's difficult now. And also sad that they do this to you. But you are young and there is a world of wonder and unconditional love out there you can find. Grieve but come to the people here and vent. And find support. And begin the process of owning and loving your life. You and all of us are lucky to be alive. Cheers!
Disfellowshipped at 18
by asensier 52 Replies latest social relationships
-
-
LisaRose
I am so sorry your parents have been brainwashed by a cult to shun you. Hopefully they will wake up some day and realize what a mistake they are making. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders are not letting it hold you back, so good for you. Hang in there, it does get easier with time.
I wish you well in your new life.
-
steve2
One hundred welcomes asensier (does your moniker have any special significance?).
You are living proof that getting baptized is the first step in leaving the organization. For many, it's all down hill after baptism and, directly or indirectly, the anticlimax contributes to the decision to leave.
Being pushed under the water and brought back up again can eventually be liberating - although you wouldn't want the cost associated with it (being shunned). But, one way or another, the organization will try to get you. At least shunnnig in your case will be overt and not subtle marking of you (as it may be for the unbaptized).
You have your boyfriend and 200 miles distance between you and those who will shun you. It will be a mixed experience for you, and I acknoweldge the sadness and loss will be huge. Thank goodness you have the loving arms of your boyfriend.
Did you see the youtube video a few weeks ago in which a young ex-witness woman talked to her classmates about her experiences in leaving the organization? That video has been viewed by upwards of 600, 000.
By posting on this forum you will already know, that although you may feel alone, you are not. So many, young and old, have either been through what you've been through or are currently doing so.
Welcome once again. By remaining steadfast against the shunning, you show you are worth more than crude emotional blackmail. All power and love to you!
-
The_Doctor10
Just found this great quote that fits your situation, "If your approval of your child is predicated on their beliefs, you don't love your child at all, you love your beliefs."
If you extend yourself that you want to maintain a relationship with your family at some point, but they hold to their JW enforced doctrine, trot that quote out to them. It's not you that caused this division, it's their beliefs that did, always remember that.
If you have trouble realizing that, just ask yourself how many people of other backgrounds get basically disowned by their family for simply having a boyfriend? You'll only find overbearing beliefs/religions/cults to blame for this kind of attitude.
Stay strong.
-
clarity
Aawwww I am so very sorry that your parents & friends would even think of shunning you! This organization is really very ugly in the way it treats its young people. They should be outlawed. They sucker our young ones into baptism before they are adults. WT tells parents to withhold a drivers licence to force them into baptism. WT knows what is likely to happen....but they don't care.
I wish you all the best dear one and big hug to you. I am glad that your friend is sticking by you and send him best wishes too. Be strong both of you.
clarity
-
clarity
You might find this helpful to see that millions are having the same experiences.
http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/blog/young-ones-leaving.php
-
clarity
Here is the video link for the young lady who left WT and let the world know about it!
http://jwsurvey.org/cedars-blog/brave-and-inspirational-schoolgirl-brie-takes-internet-by-storm-with-viral-video
-
asensier
I watched that video a couple of weeks ago. Amazing!
A phonecall with my parents resulted in me being told that I was in effect, dead to them. As well as this, my mam told me not to have children in case they ever hurt me as much as I hurt her. I hung up the phone.
I later wrote a letter to them explaining that the only ones causing hurt were them as I'm here ready for communication. It was painful to write but I felt I had to make them try to understand that they are choosing the religion over the love for their child.
It's so hard because I was brought up well and thought that love from my parents would be a constant throughout my life. My eldest brother is baptised but luckily I have support from my other brother (he moved away to university at 18, not baptised) so at least all is not lost.
-
The Searcher
Welcome asensier to the community.
You've been tossed in at the deep end of the Org - without any assistance.
Get revived here.
-
KateWild
A phonecall with my parents resulted in me being told that I was in effect, dead to them. As well as this, my mam told me not to have children in case they ever hurt me as much as I hurt her. I hung up the phone.-ansensier
First of all welcome, I am from the UK too Liverpool.
What your mum said must have really hurt you. I would never say that to my daughter. When I was a JW I was really strict and said we should always rely on Jehovah, but when injustices came our way and my then 19 year old daughter left I supported her and left too.
I feel for you losing your mum like that especially if you had a close bond. I wish there was something else I could do to fix it. Writing a letter is a good idea and keep on writing, you may break the hold WT has on her.
Take care
Kate xx