?to attack or let go?

happysunshine

Do you think it is better to just live and let live with family that are witnesses, or will not confronting them with their beliefs come back to haunt you? -Wondering

It's hard to say I'm going thru the same thing with my wife. I have tried to show her things but you can't show anyone anything if they keep their eyes closed.
I am trying to go really slow and always do it in a loving manner no more yelling and pleading. I try to show my love as much as possible and let god work it out. I told her a month or so ago Eventually we will believe the exact same thing. It might be a very logn time but it's inevitable.
Hang in there
Sean

Golden Girl

Since JW Hubby has been diagnosed wih terminal cancer...I let it go! Sometimes I really have to bite my tongue. Before..I would show him things I got off the computor and showed him in his own literature. Now it doesn't even matter anymore! Funny how some things become so insignificant when major things happen in your life!

When his Mom and sister and him all gang up on me and tell me I really need to go back to the hall for his sake...Then I get upset! He sides with them and I feel so all alone. Just about that time one of my kids call and talk to me! That helps bring me back to my sanity!

BTW...I had to fill out his JW DPA. They weren't even aware of all the blood fractions they were allowed to take!...Sad isn't it. They believe everything they are told without question. They are so quick to say"NO BLOOD"...and don't even know about all the "Conscience changes

Golden Girl...aka...Snoozy

kelsey007

LET GO! My mother- only remaining member of my family is still a JW. At 78 it is the only social life she knows. I make a few comments but do not work to dampen her spirit.

Being an EX JW should only mean that the religion was not for you- As far as I am concerned ALL organized religion are cultist to various degrees. Some people just plain need that kind of structure in their lives....

Navigator

I vote with Kelsey! Relationships are too important to lose over a difference in religious beliefs. Your loving acceptance of them as a person regardless of their beliefs is an example of unconditional love which refutes the "conditional love" theology of the WTS. That doesn't mean, however, that you have to give up your own beliefs. I am deeply in love with my JW wife of 44 years, but would not set foot in a Kingdom Hall except for a funeral of one of our closest friends.

pettygrudger

I have to agree with Kelsey - my mother is 61 & so brainwashed, that even though I would love

to argue it out with her, and used to, I know now this is the life she chose, over her own children,

and she will die with this religion; I personally see her as such a frightened, uptight individual,

causing her doubts at this stage in her life (1st stages of alzheimers) could cause irrevokable

damage; I know how long it took me to get over (if I'm there) the JW life, I think it would be

cruel to cause that suffering in her - she doesn't have long enough to reap the benefits on the

other side of the struggle.

scootergirl

My vote.......let it go.

I don't want them preaching to me, so I don't preach to them. Plain and simple.

buffy

You said it Scootergirl!!

I'm df'd and my active JW mother still talks to me on occasion. I'd rather have her talk to me alittle than not at all, so I choose to keep my mouth shut and keep the peace.

Buffy

Xander

I don't want them preaching to me, so I don't preach to them.

You know, if it actually worked that way, it might be worth letting go.

Unfortunately, they are brainwashed to NEVER let it go. They will ALWAYS complain about your lack of faith, how close the end is, try pushing literature down your throat, etc, until the day they die or leave the org.

Case in point!

Since JW Hubby has been diagnosed wih terminal cancer....his Mom and sister and him all gang up on me and tell me I really need to go back to the hall for his sake...He sides with them.

Lovely!

Termincal cancer and the brainwashing is still so ingrained, he thinks of his religion first over his wife.

------------

See, THAT's what makes me hate them. THAT's why I won't give up.

Until they are 'out' - no matter HOW much you love them. No matter HOW much you care or HOW dire their situation is....you are nothing but bird food to them until you start going back to meetings.

That's disgusting.

(Edit to add opinion bit: I fear that if you are 'okay' with this, you are in denial about what they really think of you.)

Edited by - Xander on 19 September 2002 10:42:56

detective

Let it go until...what?!? They die as a result of forgoing a potentially life saving blood transfusion? This will always be a risk- as long as they are members or consider it to be the truth. Of course, you might not even be faced with this, so I suppose it's a just a worst case scenario. But in the meantime... they are out attempting to convert others to this "religion". They are out trying to convince others to join up and possibly...maybe someday have those converts forgo a potentially life saving blood transfusion- or worse yet, deny their children such treatment.

I'm as torn as the next person on how to deal with this. I really don't know what the best thing is to do. But heaven forbid my beloved gets into a car accident and requires blood, I also don't want to know that I never spoke up either. So, I can hope that I never face that situation but there's no guarantee.

I really am unsure as to the best way to proceed. But I do feel as if I might be able to help in a larger sense by seeing that my loved one gets free and doesn't attempt to enslave others. Ultimately, I feel like I can let them go on merrily, but what of the others they are misinforming?

I don't know what to either. I just don't know.