An old friend came by last night.....

by Vitameatavegamin 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Vitameatavegamin
    Vitameatavegamin

    Hello friends!

    My husband and I have this friend we have known for probably 17 years or more. He was an Elder for many years but stepped down

    about a year ago. He was always there for us when we had a problem, always kind, a true "hiding place from the wind". Well, we

    of course have not attended a meeting in over a year and we had not seen this friend in some time, several months anyway. He had

    moved to another congregation just south of here due to problems he had with our body of Elders locally, which we were very

    suprised when we heard he had switched congs.

    He came by last night and stayed for probably 4 or 5 hours and proceeded to tell us that he no longer wishes to be a JW. Said

    he could never go back to an organization that provides no means of solving problems for their flock. He said for the all the years he

    had served as an elder many issues had taunted him underneath, but never could bring himself to "rock the boat". He compared the

    feeling he has now to first realizing that there is no Santa Claus; you can never go back.

    He said that there is such a gross lack of support from the Society on so many matters, even from COs, to DOs. Said it is

    truly appalling in all reality.

    He also stated that right here in Southern Oregon, he knows of 2 Elders who were accused of Child molestation some time back,

    and the accusers were basically told that they were liars. To this day he said that these men are still serving as Elders with no

    further investigation done to date.

    It is really something that this friend of ours is in our position now. I never imagined that he would ever leave. He had such an

    incredible faith in the Org. and in the bible. I remember him being on a committe meeting of mine years ago and he was the only

    one that was kind and considerate towards me. He was and continues to be a true friend.

    He is now facing losing his family, and friends that he has made over the course of some 30+ years. He figures that

    the Elders will eventually catch up with him and deal with him "accordingly". He has a son who is serving a bethel right now

    and he is facing having to tell him how he really feels.

    But, he knows what is probably ahead for him. He said that he has to be true to himself and the people around him. He also

    stated he could never preach door to door ever again as how could he encourage people to join such an organization??

    Well, I know you all don't know this person at all, but I just felt the need to write about it. I am amazed now that we have

    someone so close to us doing what we are now. I never thought it would happen, I figured we would be the only local outcasts.

    Just to give you an example of the bursting Christian love in our local cong., one of the local elders recently stated to this friend that

    the congreation has finally eliminated all the "dead weight".

    Nice attitude.

    Thanks so much for reading.

    Love, Vita

  • bigfloppydog
    bigfloppydog

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope all the best for your long-time friend, I know he has a long road ahead of him, but maybe in time things will improve for him in his life. We all know what he has to look forward to if he should leave the org. but you can let him know he is thought of at this time.

    The puppy.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Oh, wow, Vita!

    Rough road ahead for your friend. But you and your husband will be a source of great comfort to him in the days ahead. I know having a personal friend out with me who understands all the JW stuff is priceless emotionally.

    Let's hope that your friend's Bethel son has seen how things work up close and is having his own misgivings. Perhaps if the son would join his father in relating the hypocrisy they have seen other family members will leave or, at least, not shun.

    It really seems the "dead weight" the Borg is shedding are the very ones the Borg was unable to forge to fit their stifling molds, for their compassion overflowed to bursting!

    out

  • DJ
    DJ

    Vita,

    Gosh, such mixed emotions. I feel so happy for him that he is able to see the wt for how they really are but so sad at the same time because the road is long, isn't it? Please give him my love. dj

  • more2C
    more2C

    Thank you for sharing your story. Your friend is very lucky to have friends, like you, to turn to.

    This is just one indication and example that even long time elders can see how the organization

    really is. May he always have the support and strength to face any difficult times that may come

    his way.

    More2C

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy
    I know you all don't know this person at all

    On the contary, we know him pretty well, there are lots of stories on this board very similar to his. I really hope all goes well for him eventually. Thank you for sharing his story. You should get him in touch with this site. I bet there are lots of people here who would like to support him and give him words of encouragement. If you talk to him again, please pass along my support for him. It's a very difficult and brave thing he is about to do. He should be proud of himself.

  • metatron
    metatron

    Another kind hearted elder lost - how sad.

    I'll say it again

    In order to survive, this organization will have to get dumber and crazier.

    ........and maybe more unloving, too.

    metatron

  • Scully
    Scully

    I'm happy for you and hubby who now have someone close to de-Tower with. And happy for your friend for the same reason.

    He must have felt safe coming to talk to you the way he did. Feel good about that, and keep providing him a safe haven to share his deepest thoughts.

    How is his family dealing with this change?? That will be another interesting story, won't it??

    It's becoming more and more apparent that the WTS is becoming more heartless and more insane with each passing day, because it's the people who have hearts and common sense and consciences are the ones who are leaving.

    Pretty soon it will only be the mad-men left to sail the ship.

    Love, Scully

  • ThiChi
    ThiChi

    The WT is truly losing the best of the best. It seems that your friend does not have any doctrinal disputes with the WT, only policy disputes.

    If this is the case, then this situation can really pull you apart, thinking that it is still Gods only possible organization on earth.........

    To help him free himself from this dilemma, Ray Franz' two books, COC & ISOCF, could also provide information, showing that the WT is no more "blessed" than any other religion out there.........do you think he would read them?

    Edited by - thichi on 19 September 2002 18:2:47

  • Bendrr
    Bendrr

    Vita, your friend is by no means unique. Elders not only have to live by the "rules upon rules" the Empire lays down but they also have to enforce them, even the ones they may privately disagree with. That's a heavy burden to carry.

    Just be there for your friend is all I can say. He's going to need all the support he can get.

    Col. Bendrr, [classified]

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