I'll Be Hangin Around for Awhile

by scumrat 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • scumrat
    scumrat

    I know, I never formally introduced myself when I signed onto this board. However, a little bit about me. I was raised as a witness since age 10. My mother and my 3 siblings are all witnesses. 25 years ago I dated a " sister " who would later become my wife. She confided in me that her father had been raping her and her sister since the age of 9. These rapes continued until the age of 17. Yes I had gone to the elders and they promised that they would take care of it. She continued to get raped after I told the elders. That infuriated me !! After going to them twice more, they told me that it was none of my business. I was just a 17 year old kid at the time. With the pressure of disfellowshipment, my family and my so called " friends", my hands were tied. Nobody helped.

    The rapes didn't stop until my mom allowed her to move in with us. Of course being a good witness at the time, I went to live with another brother until we got married. We stayed married for 15 years. During that time my wife was severely depressed and attempted suicide 4 times. I would come home from work and find her with her head in the oven with the gas on. She would run out in front of cars so as to get hit by them. I was devastated, here was this girl that I loved and I didn't know how to help her. All that time I had hoped things would get better. We prayed, went to counseling, studied ect. Nothing seemed to work. There came a point where I was so traumatized by her behaviour, I had to leave. I couldn't take it anymore. ( there is much more to this story that I don't want to get into )

    We divorced after 15 years, and yes the Damned Elders tried to stick their noses into that too !! Because I chose to keep my divorce a private matter, the elders and my family had no idea whether it was scriptual or not. It was none of their business. From that point on, I was treated differently. It's been 7 years since I've seen my 2 nephews. And about 3 years since I've seen my family and my other neice and nephew. When I dis-associated myself 3 years ago, I was told by my family, right to my face, that they wanted nothing to do with me. I've been accused of being all sorts of things by them and the elders.

    Most recently I have been accused by NanceePark of being a troll and someone who likes the Watchtower. That accusation is one I take as a stance to fight to the death !! I have had nothing but hatred and contempt for that organization and I find her remarks highly offensive!!!! I have fought way too hard with ignorant elders and family members in my quest to expose the wrongdoings of the Watchtower. I don't need accusations from another ignorant person. If you like my comments, FINE. If you don't like my comments that's Fine too. I will express myself as I see fit. If there is a problem with that, I'm sure Simon would let me know.

    Scumrat

  • CC Ryder
    CC Ryder

    Scumrat, WOW! You've been trough it haven't you. Stick around the boards, I enjoy reading your posts. Everyone is different and are intitled to their own opinions. You have always been objective and never been abusive to others, not to my knowledge anyway. Thanks for telling some of your story. I know you have indicated there is more to it, and when your ready to share more we'll listen, if you choose to do so.

    CC

  • DakotaRed
    DakotaRed

    Scumrat, sorry about what happened between you and your wife. That sounded really rough, especially being ostracized for trying to do right.

    As for anything else, don't feel you need to justify anything you believe in. As far as I am concerned, ones personal beliefs are theirs and they should stick to their personal values. Yes, it hurts to be accused falsely, but always stick to your guns.

  • DJ
    DJ

    Hi Scumrat,

    That's quite a name you've chosen for yourself. I hope you don't think that way about yourself. It sounds to me like you did what you were taught to do by going to the elders when your girlfriend was being abused. I'm sure that when your mom allowed her to move into her home it saved the poor girl from a lot more suffering. Hats off to you! dj

  • sisteract
    sisteract

    scumrat,

    i hope you do stick around for a while. and although i've already heard your story, i still know it took alot of guts to share it here. i know you to be a man of dignity, honour, strength and INTEGRITY.

    glad you're here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    sisteract

  • footprints
    footprints

    Scumrat
    Thanks for the post. Sounds like you are taking care of yourself. I hope things continue to get better and better. May I ask if your exwife is still alive, and if she is, how is her condition now. Has anything been done about her father?

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Scumrat,

    I've noticed your posts and never thought you sounded like a WT-backer. (Also, I think Nancee is a he.)

    I am formally welcoming you, although I don't think you really need me to do that.

    I am sorry for the hell the WT put you and your wife (and her sister) through. May your ex-father-in-law fall in a snake-infested sewer where maggots crawl into his eyes and other orifices! And may the elders who did nothing to protect these two more lambs have nightmares of their own children being molested at his hands -- nightmares that wake them up and put them in fear for their eternal lives. I am SO sick of hearing how so many pervs are left to molest again thanks to Society-sponsored inaction on the part of the elders.

    Arrrrggggghhhhhh!

    out

  • Swan
    Swan

    This is kinda late, but...

    WELCOME SCUMRAT!

    Thanks for your post. I am so sorry for the pain that you and your wife went through.

    Tammy

  • Windchaser
    Windchaser

    Scummy, WELCOME!!!!!!!!! Your (and your ex-wife's) story is so sad and so typical of the jw way. I am glad that you are here and hope Simon's place helps you as much as it's helped me.

    As for anything else, don't feel you need to justify anything you believe in. As far as I am concerned, ones personal beliefs are theirs and they should stick to their personal values. Yes, it hurts to be accused falsely, but always stick to your guns.

    Dakota is so right about this. Don't let anyone get in the way of your personal beliefs or values.

    Love,

    Wind

  • pomegranate
    pomegranate

    I know scumrat PERSONALLY. He has been to my house and we have enjoyed each other's time togther, along with sisteract. BOTH are some of the finest examples of NEIGHBORS I CAN LOVE that I can think of.

    We all hurt from them (WTBTS). BUT WE CAN ALL HEAL TOGETHER.

    HEALING IS GOOD.
    TOGETHER IS GOOD.

    Let's all heal together.

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