by The Alchemist 26 Replies latest jw friends
The scripture is pretty clear. It only gets muddied up when we look at it and say, "this is rediculous". Most people would look at your situation and say, "this is rediculous". People who worship the bible won't. Your mom however, doesn't sound like your average witness, so she'll probably cut you some slack?
Giving authority to the Bible's words is not a smart thing to do. Set the example for your mom.
In a word YES YOU ARE-
all the comments are wonderful, but i hate to be the devil's advocate- but there is no such thing as jw"logic"
while i think you are free to marry whoever you want to AND whenever,
that has nothing to do with those who look to a user guide that is a few thousand years old along with the latest publications
sad to say according to the rules that your mom liveS by you are indeed an adulterer. my suggestion is to mentallly prepare yourself for the worst, just in case she decides to invoke loyalty to the org and god
but since she is already doing questionalbe things according to wt, she may not say or do anything at all
today more and more jw are being lax in how they obey wt rules,
more jw speak and deal with dfed family than ever before today
so your mom may not do anything , but you do need to be prepared just in case
as the Boys Scouts say ALWAYS BE PREPARED
Hi Alchemist,
It seems to me that this is falling into the sticky legalisms of JWs and the trouble you get into following a thousands-years-old guide for living, as someone else noted.
According to JWs, adultery breaks the marriage bond. Since you may have done the adultery according to them, the marriage is broken and now you ARE legally and scripturally (gag--JW term) married. Case over and done years ago.
Pat
Hummmm,
Your mother is probably right. No doubt you would be considered an adulterer IF your former wife has not remarried. (Am I correct to assume she was/is an active JW?) If she has remarried, or gone on to commit adultery herself, you are released from that restriction. If I am incorrect, as the dang "light" has changed so much since I was in, I'm certain someone here will let me know.
At any rate, don't beat yourself up over it. Remember, only our creators know the heart. JW's only "see" their rules and regulations. They are missing the point of love and compassion. My first husband was commiting adultery all through our marriage, and I was told that I had no grounds for divorce because I had not actually "seen" the act with my own eyes. Isn't that barbaric? They told me that if I went ahead and divorced him, and then he committed adultery or married someone else, that his "sin" would be on my head. (He wasn't a JW) Duh! Does this not sound stupid and rediculous?
Go forth and be happy. Sounds like you are already on your way.
Another thought Alchemist,
Your question should read "Was I an Adulterer?" According to JW theology, the act broke the marriage, there was no forgiveness, you pursued a divorce and remarried. Ancient history, even if one believes that sort of thing.
Pat
Alchemist, if you are not attending the meetings, no matter what you are not going to get DF'd. Well, that's what I was told by an elder's wife.
Do you have another child with your first wife? If you do, you are obligated to take care of this child as well. By the way,
What my mother nor any of my family knows is that I AM married to a wonderful woman, my second wife a non-JW for these past six months and I now have a 8 year old son.
You've been married for 6 months, and have a 8 year-old son? Is he from your first wife or the new one? (confused) And you had been a jw until 7 years ago which means you had this child when you were still a jw. Were you commiting adultery then? (confused)
Why argue about it, Alchemist? Why even bring it up? Just present yourself to your mom with your family, and act as though you think it's the most normal, acceptable thing in the world. If she's got problems with it, let her work them out for herself. Your stance, which should be presented as "taken for granted" rather than "in your face", is simply that this is who you are and where you are, and therefore this is the son your mom must love and accept.
You said your mom would still talk to you if you get df'd right? You should have told her.
Good questions you have.
Since you are asking for a view on this topic using JW "logic" the only thing that occurs to me is this scripture. It is the one in which Jesus said that "anyone who keeps on looking at a woman so as to have passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." So there exists adultery in an emotional sense.
Often when one spouse feels neglected and suspects the other is being unfaithful, there wouldn't be any real "proof" of adultery. However, if a person is feelling so "unloved" and emotionally abandoned in a relationship, I'd say that is enough grounds to end the marriage and perhaps find someone who really appreciates and loves you.
To deny someone this basic emotional fullfillment would have sad consequences to say the least and it would lead to people being trapped in a loveless marriage having no recourse and no hope to ever be happy.
Just some thoughts.
YoursChelbie
Edited by - YoursChelbie on 22 September 2002 13:4:49
It would be a case of the pot calling the kettle black now, wouldn't it?
Since you didn't divorce on the basis of fornication or adultery, the WTBTS considers that a frivolous reason and you can be charged with adultery if you remarry.
However, the FDS and WTBTS, the bride of Christ, recently (10 years ago) entered into an adulterous relationship by contract (marriage?) with the United Nations, a.k.a. the disgusting thing that causes desolation, a.k.a. the wild beast, for the frivolous reason that they needed a library card.
Think about it.
Tammy
