you have such beautiful words mama, i'm getting that book asap.
Paths along the way, after the borg, experiences?
by LyinEyes 12 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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reubenfine
Interesting points. I was raised in the hive, born in 1956, and started seriously drifting in 1991, then out for good in 1996. How I stayed in so long is the only thing that amazes me. I think most of my recovery happened while I was drifting. It took awhile, most of 5 years, to gradually come to the conclusions I did. Once the last straw hit, I was out and there was no looking back. I was always raised to think and then do the right thing. Once I was conviced there was zero love from the top down, it is obviously not the "truth." Then Crisis of Conscience was a great help in healing the scab that was left. I found out that my case wasn't unique but was typical.
What is funny is I now fall in the "too smart to see the truth" group. It always cracked me up when people said, "Oh, he's educated. It's harder for them to see the truth." Gee, I wonder why???
Lyle
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outoftheorg
Hey Pretty Eyes;
I was born into the borg in 1935. I left it mentally in 1977. I hung around to keep contact with my family until 1991 when I finally told the elders what I thought of them. Got df'd
As a previous poster stated we" born in to it people" Do not have a previous personality to go back to and recover ourselves. We have to start almost from scratch and build a new personality. This of course takes more time. I started the building process in 1977 and accelerated it in 1991. It is still a work in process.
Don't let this discourage you. I functioned a lot better not long after 1977 and gradually felt better and better. I know now that I would have been better off if I had made a clean break from the wbts in 1977 or 78 and let the chips fall where they may. My staying some what in, only delayed the inevitable.
I learned this lesson the hard way. If you see something coming down the road, and it needs attention and action, don't put it off. If we do, it will be much more difficult when it is forced on us.
To rid myself of the lingering beliefs from the wbts that would nag at me, I read R. Franz 2 books and others to mentally destroy these beliefs and remove them from my mind. It took some work and concentration to stick with this and not at the same time not let it become an obsession.
The time period I show here may discourage some. Don't worry. The initial freedom and and what I call my first breath of fresh air are very encouraging and refreshing. Then the new found friends and experiences make up for the work needed. Although I have had a long journey it is filled with the new experience of TRUE friendship. REAL freedom. An HONEST release from the drudgery of jw life. All these new discoveries make the work on ourselves a work of love and well worth the time and effort.
Every time I look back and compare the old life to todays and the contentment I now have, it inevitably brings a smile to my face and a feeling of gratitude for all those who wrote the books and posted the information and their life experience in the borg
I find I no longer need constant boosts to my ego, or lots of expressed love from ones close to me. I can be happy and secure and contented with out so much attention and reasurance. Not that I do not like it. It is just not so all important to me since I now feel good about myself.
Please do not let the years ahead and the necessary work involved overwhelm you. After all life comes to us one day at a time. Do todays work today. If you need a day off, take it. Then resume the work tomorrow. Whatever happens, there is always tomorrow.
This work I have been talking about, comes for the most part a little bit at a time as small occurances in your life that point out to you a new choice or course you might try in relating to others. Or a little flash of awarness about yourself that you want to change. Lots of little things are not hard to handle.(unless they have 10 toes).
Again what I want to get across is DON'T FEEL OVERWHELMED. I sense a feeling of dispair in some. As if they are afraid they can't handle the new life they face.
If there are other severe underlying trauma from your past, get professional help. Deal with it first or along with the rebuilding of a personality. Don't feel that to do so is to admit weakness or worry about what others may think.
I also put off trying to fine the "right" religion. I decided to deal with that after I did the other work and felt ok with myself. I found I didn't need the right religion. I could be as spiritual or not on my own.
If I can do this "and I am not in any way special or stronger than others" you can do it also.
Seeing what I believe are some of us struggeling with these issues never fails to bring tears to my eyes. And anger for the wbts. Wish I could reach out and hug every one of you.
I hope you don't think I am 'PREACHING AT YOU" here. I sure don't mean to.
Outoftheorg