The following story is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Raised a JW...married a life-long JW at age of 18. Had 2 kids. I hated service, meetings, most of the elders and elderettes, but kept on keeping on because all my family and my husband's were JW's. Then in 1989 I came down with CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome)...which I now know was probably due to the stress of trying to keep up the whole witness thing and a long, slow spiral into chronic depression.
What happened when I became sick and could no longer attend all the meetings or go in service? (Ahhhhh...it was SUCH a relief!!) The elders started questioning whether or not my illness was indeed an illness or whether I was "faking" it to get out of my "spiritual duities". They went so far as to spread rumors and asked many in the congregation (including my mother-in-law, who lives next door) if they had seen me out and about much. One elder saw me driving to the grocery store...so obviously I was NOT sick! (During all the time I was sick, which was over a 10 year period...I had no offers of help or assistance with anything...WOW...such overwhelming LOVE!!!)
Then I had an ambush type shepherding call when my husband was safely at work. (He had attained the status of MS, but due to my health problems had to relinquish his title...though he stepped down due to my health it was announced that he had been "removed".) This visit was about 4 years ago. The CO and an elder cohort dropped in to encourage me. When we got into a discussion about anti-depressants the CO launched into an illustration concerning a sister who had committed fornication and was depressed. Did she need drugs? No...she needed to repent and confess her "secret" sin and then the depression would magically disappear. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? (Yes...I am sure you can.) So he was trying to tell me that I was depressed because of some secret sin in my past that I had not owned up to. Needless to say...I was totally devasted after they left.
Then came the final straw. My baptized son became engaged to a young woman in our congregation; grown up in the organization...whole family JW's...begging to be baptized for over two years but ignored by elders (she wasn't in the right cliques). My husband and I, despite being JW's for over 40 years; did not realize that she was considered an "unbeliever" and that my son was committing a great sin by marrying her. (Only baptized JW's are considered believers; all others are unbelievers no matter what.) Most of the elders had congratulated the couple and wished them well. Then the week before the wedding all hell broke loose. Marking talks against my son were given in both the congregations that share our KH; the congregation was warned about attending a wedding where an "uneven yoking" was to take place. A wedding planned for 350 people became a wedding attended by 130. No elders, no MS's or wives allowed to attend and many of their friends and those that heard the marking talks were no shows. (Shower was also boycotted by all elder's and MS's wives and those in their personal cliques).
After the wedding my son and my husband and myself accused the elder bodies of slander because in the marking talk they said that our son had been warned of the consequences of marrying an "unbeliever" but disregarded the elders and therefore was a trouble-maker and not obedient. All LIES. Even the CO lied. We went through 3 years of hell dealing with our elders, new elders sent in to our congregation (which tells you something about the state of our congregation anyway) and the bozo's in NY. Our son and his wife were shunned after their marriage...we have been shunned as have her family. My mom and sister will no longer speak with me since we went against the elders and spoke out against wrongdoing.
Then you add the UN thing, the child abuse and all the other crap going on in this so-called Christian organization and we really had our "light-bulb" moment. We are not disfellowshipped or disassociated...we are "drifters" and the farther we drift from this organization the better we're feeling.
Now if only we could get on Dr. Phil!!!!
P.S. My husband and I will be celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary next January...we are now happier than ever and truly have something to celebrate...freedom from enslavement to the Watchtower Organization! And last week I took my youngest son (who is 20) and treated him to an ear-piercing session...and it felt DARN GOOD!!! (Oh...he never was baptized...best decision he and we as parents ever made.)
Edited by - HadEnuf on 25 September 2002 11:50:24