Suicide & Letting The Media Know - Important

by Celtic 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Celtic

  Dear JWD.Com Forum Members

  Thankyou once again for the many very kind and thoughtful comments provided by many.

  I well understand the rage that such a breaking story inspires in many of us and yes I do also understand that some feel that this is worthy of media attention.

  However, as I have already informed one particular individual here by private email, and also Bill Bowen, I feel that a point or two needs to be borne in mind out of respect, not just for the young lady involved who is no longer with us, but also to Adele and her own family.

  At this moment in time I am advocating extremely strongly that NO individuals inform the media of this heart rending story. Adele has never been a Witness, nor have any of her family. She is to be praised wholeheartedly for accepting into her family a former Witness and caring for her as one of her own. Police reports are still being compiled on the case and as far as I know, the Coroner's report too has yet to be made.

  Perhaps we need to ask ourselves if truly this is what Chantelle would have wanted. Unfortunately, we can no longer do that. Therefore the responsibility to inform the media resides ONLY with the family that Chantelle was 'adopted' by. I would think that from knowing the situation first hand that this IS NOT what the family would want and we should do our utmost to respect that. Certainly, if Adele wished this to be taken to the media, I'm sure she would let me know.

  Adele and more especially one of her other daughters who was a best friend of Chantelles since they were nippers, are obviously right now going through the grieving process. The last thing they need is media attention, preferring to take this time to grieve in private.

  I would hope that all and sundry within this here community would, without fail, respect this fact.

  Yours faithfully

  Mark Price / Community Action Network UK
• 

  Sentinel

  Mark,

  I concur with your expressions herein. We all need to be very careful with sensitive issues. Although the forum is a very open place for expressing all types of "things", we still need to be very carefull. In fact, no one should pass on private information to another unless permission is given. Even, where some of us have poured our heart out because we are suffering, and have divulged personal stuff. That information, although on a public forum, needs to remain "herein", and not distributed outside of this arena unless that person says it's okay.

  This is just good courtesy. I have seen, all to well, how the media descends upon individuals and families and can make their life a living hell. That would certainly not lessen the burden of those who are trying to deal with the pain and grief of their loss. Although, we do want the media to focus on the WTBTS, no doubt it would go for the sensationalism first.

  You are a very sensitive gentleman. How sad that Chantelle missed so much of the good that life does have to offer. Thank you for reminding us of a few things.

  Love and Light,

  Sentinel/Karen
• 

  Celtic

  Thankyou Karen!!!

  Celty
• 

  Shutterbug

  Mark,

  Your insight and reasoning is beyond reproach. However, I do hope the authorities will take some sort of action in this case. This is one of the most heart breaking stories I've read since logging on to this forum, and considering the number of heart breaking stories posted, that is saying something.

  However your request is a reasonable one and hopefully all will respect your wishes. Thank you for posting.
• 

  LyinEyes

  Celtic, what you said is very true, and I know this has hit close to your heart. Continue to let Adele know that we are still thinking of her and the great lose of this young woman.

  As far as the media is concerned, they get one word about a suicide they will cover it , even without all of the details.

  When my mom died, it was on the damn news that night!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was horrified. She was well known all over town , which was not a little rural town. My dad owned the biggest construction company at the time and we lived there for years. My dad had a great deal of money and my mom sure loved to spend it , so she was everyone's best customer.

  I still can't believe they said her name on the t.v. that same night. They even told how she killed herself , she jumped off the Jimmie Davis Bridge, into the Red River,and they told where they found her. They did mention they don't know details, and it appeared to be a suicidal jumping but pending further investigation.

  The next few days after she died, it was in THe Times, front page on the bottom. Again, just reporting some facts, and there was a hell of alot of things they didnt know. We didnt know for months, several months the outcome of the investigation and the autopsy report.

  So , waiting for a complete story will not always hinder the media.

  I was never contacted on anything, and I was her closet relative, since her and dad were divorced. They did what they wanted to.

  Even in the obituatary, it mentioned she was a Jehovah's Witnesses. I didnt tell them to put that there, I don't know who did. But it really didnt matter to me at the time. I guess they had to put what faith she was. They just didnt tell the real truth that she was a kicked out Jehovah's Witness.

  I agree, that waiting for all the facts would be the best to do in this situation, then maybe later the whole truth can come out and give the deseased the understanding she deserves. If the story is not told , after the local media tells of what they know so far, it will just be forgotten as another suicide.

  I still think that the day of the march for Silentlambs, those who have lost loved ones in this way should speak up, it is a way to honor the dead, and to maybe saves some lives in the future. But I agree , you are right, it is too soon to go into detail publicially about this young woman. I do hope one day her story will be told in a way as to expose why she choose to end her life, and to put the blame on where it goes, the WT and not her.
• 

  Simon

  I think with anything - suicide, blood issues, child abuse etc... that there are unfortunately those who just see it as another missile to throw at the WTS and do not really have a care for the victims.

  I think they should always come first.
• 

  DJ

  Hi,

  Ok. I admit it, I'm the guilty party who was admonished by e-mail from Celtic. I would however like to address my own defense in order to gather a bit of understanding to my reaction.

  First off, I did request permission from Mark re: alerting the media or not. He did not respond to either my e-mails (several) or my pleading through the thread. I took into consideration the time differences as well. So, I was left in a quandry and felt that I was able to make the decision based on my own assessment, having taken into consideration that the threads were placed into the public eye by Mark himself. The internet in my view is not a private avenue to post information that you would prefer to be kept quiet.

  In my best estimation (and you are entitled to disagree) the decision to request that Bill Bowen take this to the media was not to blow the WT up....but to expose the teachings of yet more abuse in the form of shunning! Particularly, in this instance where a minor is df'd and shunned by her own parents who harmed her soul with burning her baby photos. This decision was made with the utmost respect to Chantelle, a way to honor her life, struggles and all. Certainly, one also has to take into account that the media alert made by Bill was made with the best intentions. I am unaware of any damage done and I would expect that if Mark decided to speak to the media IF they contacted him....he could always refuse to comment. I am sorry if Mark's situation living with his active JW parents has caused him to lose sight of the relevance of this tragic issue in seeing that the timing is appropriate with the march coming up soon. Chantelle made this decision to silence herself, sadly. She was treated in a most dispicable way which lead to her suicide as Mark said. If there is some reason that media attention would be a negative persuit then of course I would agree with him. I still hold firm to my belief that the telling of this story, if indeed it's a result of the shunning policy should be told. It cannot harm Chantelle, no one can harm Chantelle any longer. With respect to her adopted mom, I can only offer her my prayers and hugs. In my heart of hearts I feel that she would in time feel honored if she knew that even only one person was spared this agony through hearing Chantelle's final words to us which were silent. She was a lamb who chose to silence herself but hopefully someone will have the guts to speak in her memory. It could save a life. Respectfully, Donna
• 

  sf

  Mark,

  You must have missed my reply in the other thread. As soon as I read the 'situation', I emailed FOXNEWS, plus a couple of other 'outlets':

  Email sent:

  Hello again Bill (O' [email protected]),
  
  As you know, or perhaps aren't as aware as you should
  be, of how many emails I actually HAVE sent you over
  the last two years re: the Watchtower Bible and Tract
  Society, in New York, (can't imagine you aren't
  'familiar' with) which headquarters the religious
  group, the jehovah's witnesses, is in various media on
  and off the net these days...
  
  The RAND stockholdings, connections with U.N., funding
  navy 'tools', PEDOPHILIA, lawsuits, etc. (corruption)
  
  Yesterday a young SHUNNED/DISFELLOWSHIPPED girl KILLED
  HERSELF. Why?
  
  Her jw parents burned her baby photos in front of her
  and said:(first thread 'asking for help')
  
  <http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=37261&site=3&page=1
  
  
  UPDATE (ACTUALLY REPORT ON SUICIDE):
  <http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=37168&site=3
  :
  
  Bill, what MADELYNE TOOGOOD did was horric, yes.
  What that woman did in the desert yesterday to her
  small kids (stab them, one dead) is horrific, yes.
  
  SO IS BURNING BABY PHOTOS IN FRONT OF YOUR GROWN BABY!
  
  I REPORT, YOU DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO NAIL THIS
  ORGANIZATIONS SHUNNING DOCTRINES, that drive kids to
  suicide.
  
  Sincerely, s. f., west coast, california

  ==========================

  Bill was Not the only one speaking with media that day.

  If you bring a 'situation' to this public forum that is indeed a PRIVATE one, what did you honestly expect any of us to do with the info? The time to protect that child is up! She is gone now. What are we protecting now, WTBTS POLICY? WTS and those jw parents must be held ACCOUNTABLE, if not responsible.

  I had to speak up on this 'situation'. And guess what? If a private matter is again, brought to the public, I'll treat it AS public knowledge; and therefore, make more public aware. Simple.

  What IF you hadn't told us?

  sKally
• 

  SixofNine

  The really scary thing is, that with some people on the forum, one has to wonder if an event really took place. If not, then passing it on to the media really, really looks bad for us, and is soooo counterproductive.

  As far as, 'do we get a story like this to the media?', I have one thing to say:

  Of course we do. Again, unfortunately, there are people on this forum crazy enough to just make stuff like this up.

  The pathology and incidence rate of df'd witnesses killing themselves in their sorrow is to great to ignore. Yes, family feelings are important, but not nearly as important as stopping this from happening again. What can stop it from happening again? Publicity, plain and simple.

  Shout it from the rooftops.

  But only if you have some way of confirming it really happened.

  Edited by - SixofNine on 27 September 2002 13:33:51
• 

  Satanus

  The really scary thing is, that with some people on the forum, one has to wonder if an event really took place.

  Funny, i thought it was just my twisted mind working like this, in this case.

  SS

  Edited by - saintsatan on 27 September 2002 13:43:37