How do ex-JW's actually choose another religion?

by buffy 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    Buffy you have every right to not want anything to do with religion. That was your freedom to choose. Not to mention you have not been out that long. Finding a faith/re-programming yourself doesn't have to be something you take up within a certain time peroid. If you are happy not being in a religion don't be in one. I would guess your doubts are still the residue of JW guilt that you have to attend church/meetings, what have you, in order to be a spiritual person. That's a load of hooey of course.

    If you are worried about your son, you are much better off letting him make his own choices about spirituality then to sign up for the nearest church with the best slogans.

    My advice, for you and your son: take a cosmopolitan attitude. Start reading some stuff. See what makes sense to you and is inline with your own understanding of God and spirituality. This will help you a lot, to make up your mind if you want to be in any religion again ever, or if you would rather be a spectator than a participant when it comes to religion. Plus it will teach your son tolerance. Instead of getting him hooked up with a doctrine that teaches "we are right, they are wrong" (which is what every religion teaches by the way) he will be able to develop some critical thinking skills. Granted I have no idea how old your son is, or how ready he is for that, but I would have an open church policy. If you guys want to go to a buddist temple go. If you want to go to a mosque why not check it out. Baptist/Luthern/Catholic...whatever. IF ya like what you see, you can always go back.

    People spend more time shopping around for a VCR than they do religion.

    I myself am doing a little checking out and reading for myself. So far lots of interesting information, but nothing that made me feel like I had to join. That might change, that might not. In the meantime I am keeping my options open.

  • Utopian Reformist
    Utopian Reformist

    Have all of you lost your minds? Have you succumbed to weakness all over again and insecurity?

    If you are still inclined to serve your God and feel a love for him, then just do that on your own, in privacy and allow the rest of the world to marvel at your inner peace and happiness and learn beneficial examples from your behavior and interaction with human society.

    If you feel the need to place yourself in a regimen again, or need group validation and approval to feel like your worship and relationship with your Creator is meaningful, then I say beware because you are sliding back into co-dependency.

    Your relationship with your Creator is YOUR personal responsibility, and cannot be shared. Haven't you learned that organized religion does more harm by interfering with that relationship? Your mediator is supposedly Jesus Christ, not any group or humans with labels, and denominations.

    Get a hold of yourselves, get a grip, take control, take responsibility for your personal beliefs and stop leaning and depending on other humans for what you alone will have to answer for in life and in death---YOUR ACTIONS.

    You own your name and your life and the Creator knows it and only you will be blesses and/or judged as such, according to the record of your life's actions and reactions.

    Now, if the Creator exists for you, and you still desire to worship and serve him, then begin communicating with him directly. If He exists, and still loves the human family, and you believe some or all of the Bible, then he obviously hears prayer and cares for all creation. That should be enough for anyone.

    Why waste time in an organized group who will only attempt to speak for God, attempt to explain the unexplainable, attempt to interpret debatable concepts and only add more religious baggage to your life?

    Haven't you had enough? If you want community, if you want company, if you want friendship, if you want people in your life, then go make friends! Make friends by meeting people without religious premises and see humans for who they are, in all varieties and develop a real rapport with someone, anyone or everyone.

    The best common ground is always kindness to strangers and trust. Give it shot, you won't be disappointed. Almost all humans desire the same things, like love, peace, security, etc..

    Show some of that and you will make people feel comfortable, cared for and they will reciprocate. And for once, do it from pure motivation, not from a religious frame of reference and see the difference it makes in your life.

    Just my $1.98 on religion in general.

  • VeniceIT
    VeniceIT

    Why would an Exjw want to??

    Ven

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    Utopian: Well said. That's where I see myself...my faith is my own affair, I'll share my thoughts with anyone who cares to have a conversation, but I will NOT NOT NOT EVER AGAIN get involved with an organized religion. Oh, perhaps now and then, out of curiosity, I might go to a church, maybe even back to a Kingdom Hall. But never as a member of the vortex, not going to let myself be sucked into that whirlpool, boxed in, closed down.

    Nope...not for me.

    Craig

  • Utopian Reformist
    Utopian Reformist

    In addition, since the term spirit and spirituality have a broad range of meanings and applications, why not consider developing and nurturing the types of spirit that are borne from feelings and emotions. This too is a form of spirituality.

    For example, aren't you happy when you help someone? That is a spirit of joy. When it happens, don't let it fade. Hang onto it. "Pay it forward" so to speak, and pass it around. There is alot of beneficial fruitage humans are capable of without resorting or relying on religious motivation for everything.

    Making someone happy, even yourself, does not require attending meetings, deep study of religious material or a sense of obligation and compulsion. All that is required to spread more good in this world is MOTIVATION and EFFORT.

    I help people because they NEED it and the results make me feel like a contributor. It has nothing to do with anyone's beliefs or religion. If you need a belief system just to figure out that people should help one another and reduce human suffering, then I question your ability to comprehend in general. Remove the veils and blinders, and start smelling the roses in life. Get out there and contribute. Earn a new degree or your first! Find a way to volunteer! Meet and help your neighbors. Patch up broken relationships, make the first move with lost contacts. Pay your bills! Clean up your credit, your house, your garage! Build something, learn a craft, study music, play an instrument. Get a hobby. Travel, learn a new language. Play sports, join a club. Move to a new area! Just do something for your sake and LIVE!

    Start living and fill your life with enriching, enlightening things and keep learning and improving at everything for as long as you are alive. I forgot the person who said this, but it goes "do all the good you can, for as long as you can, to as many as you can" and you will have a good life.

  • crownboy
    crownboy

    Well, I'm as non-religious as they get, and I have no desire to join another church, persue religion, or anything of that nature. Not necessarily because the JW's "spoiled it for me", but I just don't believe this stuff.

    You have every right to be non religious, Buffy, as Utopian Reformist pointed out, you can also simply be religious in the privacy of your own home, without organized religion being a middle man (I get the same "brain lock" when I read post of a highly religious nature, too ). You can also discard spirituality all together if you reached such a decision after much research and "soul searching".

    The issue you brought up about your child is quite interesting. Don't go around thinking you are damning you and your child, Buffy. As StinkyPantz said, if a (loving) god truly exist, he won't condemn you for being a good person and reaching decisions on sound reason, whether you're "religious" or not. However, if I had a child, I would at least want them to have a basic knowledge of religions, though not an indoctrination. I would probably go to a Unitarian Universalist congregation if anything, as these guys are as non-sectarian as they get. The children's Sunday school usually entails teaching them about various religious traditions, without endorsing anything. I went there once, it was actually pretty nice, but I'm more religious about N.Y. Jets games than anything else on Sundays .

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    mamashel: Why do you think a church that says it is non-denominational is just that? Think about it!!

    I have a niece who attends one of those non denominational churches. Trust me, it IS a denomination. Just because it says it isn't, don't make it so!! THAT is the denomination.

    Ask people in other Christian churches about that one.

    I am with Venice on this one. Why would you want to? It's just that you are looking for that old feeling, you had as a dub. They are all the same. They really are.

  • Tinkerbell4125
    Tinkerbell4125

    Utopian, yeap, I lost my mind a LONG time ago, if you find it, let me know! =;o)

    I wish it was that simple for me. I guess I still have that feeling deep inside that I have to be apart of a group. Could it be that simple? To simply have a relationship with God, to ask for his graces and recieve it?

  • songmistress
    songmistress

    Craig, Never is a very long time. I seem to remember somebody telling me they would never get involved in a romance again either. LOL

    Seriously tho, Buffy, there is no rush and time will tell what you want to do. I made a couple of really bad choices religiously after I left the witnesses. I currently go to the Catholic Church, but I am doing it because for right now it feels right. I do find a measure of peace inside the sanctuary. What I do feel is that religion is not the important thing, but spirituality is. Religion is what you do, spirituality is more about what you are. I truly believe that God is available wherever we may look for him, not in some building somewhere or with this group or that group. I feel that I have been supported by God (whatever he/she) proves to be.

    Trust yourself. You will find something when the time is right and if it is the right thing for you to be doing. You have the freedom to go to a church or not, as you wish and no-one will be judging. If they do well, I consider that to be a strike against them.

    Blessings

    Cheryl

  • cherjcd
    cherjcd

    Hi Buffy,

    You have a great question. Hearing other ex-JW's testimonies about how they left and where they found faith can be helpful. You will find many stories of ex-JW's on our audio page at http://www.jwinfoline.com/Page/audio.htm and also at http://www.jwinfoline.com/Page/audio2.htm Each person has their own story of how they found faith.

    I hope you find these helpful.

    Cheryl

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