Wow!!!
Thank you all for such a warm welcome. Your responses touched my heart so deeply.
I couldn't get back on my computer yesterday to thank you all then...it was being used for work..so now that I've dried my tears, I want you all to know I'm so grateful I've found this avenue of support.
Several of you mentioned I'm on a rollarcoaster ride now and I can surely agree. I'm so sad that I've spent so much of my life following what others say instead of thinking things through and searching out for the truth. I was so sure this was the only right way to worship Jehovah and that this organization was the only one identified by their love for one another and neighbour. When things happened to seem contrary to that, like so many others I shrugged my shoulders and said Jehovah will straighten it out in due time.
I'm at least happy for the Bible training I received (although right now my mind spins around and flip flops all over the place)and for the good qualities we were taught to cultivate.
When I read your responses of empathy and welcomes and your HUGS, I was overwhelmed.
And to read of how some of you have felt exactly as I did like "outnfee" who said to a friend " that one of the reasons we felt so special and blessed was becaus OUR religion could understand those time prophecies!". I often said the same thing and that prophecies being fulfilled in our time was such an important feature in my conviction. Seeing how just making a small adjustment to a word, when one of the GB translated the NWT, could be used to support such a vital part of our belief in the Gentile times and the time of the end, just knocked the wind out of me. But still its been so satisfiying to have come to know that when I search out the context of a scripture and I disagree with something the WBTS says, I'm not rebelling against Jehovah.
Anyway THANK YOU ALL again for your encouragement and adding to my conviction that I'm doing the right thing. My heart is no longer in going to the meetings even though I'm still in good standing. I know I'll have many more days of questioning, venting, tears, rehashing old hurts, but I also know I feel very happy at being able to see things with open eyes now... even though sometimes your stories just make my jaw drop in shock at how much has gone on, things that most of those, still deeply embedded in the rules and regulations that can't be supported in the Bible, do not know about. I can only hope that the time will come when more and more witnesses will open their eyes and search for the truth and not just blindly follow what men say.
Happy to have met you all and I look forward to further chats...I'll try no to be so long-winded...but venting has helped me so much.
Love to all...
had enough
