by Israel Ricky Gonzales 39 Replies latest jw experiences
Welcome!
Sorry to hear about your ordeal but glad you and your wife haven't given up on each other.
You're wise to give her space regarding religion.
For some reason the last person who can get a JW to see TTATT is their spouse.
Sometimes when the resistance from the spouse stops, the JW starts to see things for himself/herself.
Welcome
Welcome Ricky! It would seem that your wife still loves you and wants to be with you, regardless of the religious differences. You are a lucky man.
If your wife will indeed view you as just an "unbeliever" instead of an apostate, that's a very good thing. If you decide to reconcile with her, you will be able to counter the JW indoctrination that will inevitably be forced down your kids' throats unless you intervene. Who knows? If you continue to be reasonable and loving and show a genuine interest in your wife and kids and their welfare, without demanding she chuck everything she believes in right way, you may "win her over without a word."
Handle this right, and you may be able to save your wife and kids from being consumed by the cult. That would be worth almost any sacrifice.
Good luck.
israel...i saw your video on jwstruggle and i am glad things are working out slowly.
my wife also know how i feel about the cult. i have become apathetic....i just don't care
about organized religion. I still believe in Jesus and believe he is my savior and my LORD.
i still go to the meetings with her sometimes and she doesn't go has often has she thinks she
should. but, she is not has spiritual has she thinks.
i truely hate this cult and wish she would open her eyes...but, no chance. she refuses to
see it for what it is.
We had another marriage counseling session yesterday and we talked about guidelines if we move back together.
Our counselor said she was amazed at how fast and how fluid our relationship was moving, in a positive manner. She mentioned that most couples she visits with, in similar circumstances, takes MANY months to reconcile. She said it was obvious we have a strong foundation to build upon despite religious differences .
That was very encouraging to hear, as well as the comments previously.
My situation may not be a common occurrence when one mate wakes up and the other doesn't but I do believe had she wanted to get a divorce, she could have trumped up allegations to the elders and got their blessing to allow her a divorce on the grounds of spiritual endangerment.
I don't know what the elders and her friends are telling her to do, but she is sticking it out. That tells me there was more than just a religious bond in our marriage.
Would I like for her to wake of? Of course! But I have to be honest with myself and realize, like mentioned earlier, sometimes spouses have the hardest time waking up their mate. I think if we can keep the religious aspect out of things as much as possible, a happy marriage is possible.
Now, my kids are a different story. I am determined not to lose them to the cult.
And your wife will be determined to keep them in. An encouraging thing is that if children have a family member who is not a witness, their chances of not sticking with it are much higher.
Also, the more fun stuff you guys can do that distracts your wife from service and meetings the more she will embrace a normal life. And don't let her stop working and go back to pioneering. Say you can't afford it. Got to save for college ;). Or whatever will work.
