Changes

Jesus Christ

I was going through my closet today and came across a box of old pictures. Some of them had this girl I used to be friends with in them. We were friends in school and after graduation she was one of the only people I cared to stay in touch with. We got to be closer over the next year or so but never really dated or anything like that (though the thought crossed my mind and I'm pretty sure it did her's too). She was fun, had a good sense of humor, smart, and fiercely loyal to those close to her. Then she went over to Europe to visit a friend over the summer and they had a bit of a falling out. I remember I actually left a meeting to go pick this friend up in a city a couple of hours away (did I mention she was never a JW?) because she came home a few days early.

When she got back home it was like she was a totally different person. She was careless, at times mean, and we ended up having our own falling out because she thought I was part of a conspiracy to break into her house to clean her carpets and, no, I'm not making that up either. She actually went off the deep end about how we while she was gone myself, another girl we were friends with, and that girl's boyfriend were doing everything we could to get into her house to clean the carpets.

Its like one of my friends went to Europe and a completely different person came back and I still don't know why. Have any of you ever had something like that happen to someone you knew? If so, what caused it? Did they ever get back to normal?

DakotaRed

It's happened to me more than once, JC. Once, when I was stationed overseas for 5 years. It feels like I came back to an entirely different country than I left. And no, it has never returned to normal. What I have yet to figure out, is if I changed that much, the country did or both.

Another time, I had grown quite fond of someone who left on vacation. As they were about to return, I received mail saying how upset they were with me for something. When I wrote back apologizing and explaining that since the something would make major changes in my life, I needed to discuss it with another, I never received a reply and basically, haven't heard anything since. So, I ended up swallowing my hurt and decided to honor what apparently was their wishes. You can't force someone else to care about you, so it comes time to just get on with your life. The main thing I learned from that time is to not be too open about my feelings anymore.

Lew W

Robdar

JC,

Yes, I am going thru a similar situation now. My friend got back from vacation and he isn't the same. I don't know what happened, or why. I guess time will tell if he gets back to being his old self. He isn't really speaking to me right now. It makes me sad. I know how you feel.

Love,

Robyn

Edited by - robdar on 1 October 2002 22:15:20

Elsewhere

Was your friend in her 20s when this started? It is common for schizophrenia to emerge at that age.

Yerusalyim

Dakota Red,

I can relate to that completely. I went over to the Gulf War, and when I returned, life, and the Country had changed completely and forever. Upon further analyzes though, I think that in our case it was We and our perspectives that were changed more than it was the country. When I left my home town for the military, home was a wonderful loving and safe place, when I came back it was full of hate greed and prejudice. It wasn't the town that had changed though, it was my perspective.

The Church I was almost ready to leave 12 years ago is now my rock that I can lean on.

The things that were important to me when I was a teen and young adult have faded. I used to be a liberal as far as religion, now I'm fairly conservative. I used to be a socialist politically and economically, now, I'm a Republican.

JC it may be just this that happened with your friend, a summer in Europe can change a person, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. But You've changed to, once a faithful JW, now a doubter at best or maybe even an "apostate"

Just my thoughts.

Mike, aka Yeru

Jesus Christ

I don't really know what all changed while she was gone. Maybe it was her, maybe it was the US, maybe it was her friends. She was only gone for about a month or so. After the whole carpet cleaning incident I started talking to her again and she never returned back to her old self. Too bad too because before she was someone I really liked but after that trip she just wasn't somebody I really wanted to hang out with because she had changed so much for the worse. She went from strong and confident young woman who worked her @$$ off at school (with great results) in hopes of becoming a journalist to college dropout (one semester before graduation) working a front desk, making not much above minimum wage, and engaged to a guy she started dating while he was still married to another woman in about a year's time. Funny thing was, I was a JW at the time (though not very good one to say the least) and almost thought she had joined a cult or something but she would have told me about that and even with her new personality I really don't see that as something she would do. Now I'm about as big of an apostate as you can get.

Don't know what happened and really, I'm suprised I still care so much, or even at all.

Prisca

I'm with Elsewhere on this. Schizophrenia can manifest itself when a person is in his/her 20s, and it will change their personality for good.

I mean, how sane is it for someone to be so concerned that other people want to break in and clean their carpets? (Personally, I wish someone DID break in and clean MY carpets, LOL!)

JC, if you are still in contact with your friend, I would tactfully enquire if they are suffering from some mental illness. I would suggest you read up on the subject before you say anything, so that you know what signs to look for, and how to handle her and her possible reactions to you.

Beck_Melbourne

JC, bro...have you thought that maybe she could be on drugs! Just a thought..not being smart arsie or anything.

I once knew this girl I went to school with...she went over to France and did her overseas experience thing. She came back a bit strange...no that's a lie, she came back VERY strange. She was hospitalised at one time as no one knew what was wrong with her...and eventually she was put in an institution.

After a period of time, she was released and she moved in with her grandmother. I'm not sure how long she was there, but the police later found her grandmother chopped up into small pieces in the freezer. Creepy huh!

Turns out the girl had been on drugs in France and had suffered some damage somewhere along the lines.

~Beck~

abbagail

JC, what everyone has already said are good possibilities. The first one to jump in my head was schizophrenia, since, yes, it usually manifests itself from age 15-19, is what I have heard, but maybe 20's also. It's a dreadful disease and will change a person's personality for sure.

However, so will DRUGS and/or ALCOHOL, since I knew someone like that, and they would flip-flop in their personality from one part of the day to later in the day. And drugs/alcohol also can cause that type of paranoia, too.

Also, brain injuries and/or brain tumors can cause personality changes. (Maybe, if you get an opportunity, suggest she get a health checkup.)

My other thought is extreme stress can bring out PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome) symptoms, which can include paranoia (the carpet cleaning deal). Maybe your friend has abuse or other such trauma issues in her past? Maybe the trip to Europe was very stressful? and/or something else happened over there which triggered PTSD.

And the last thing that jumped out at me was where you wrote that she was dating a man who was still married to another woman (even though now engaged to him, dating a married man CAN make you CRAZY! been there/done that... and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.)

Hope you can help her, or at least find some explanation for yourself so you can feel more at peace about it.

Grits

gumby

Do you think she will stay that way? Maybe it was a temporary feeling she will have and will change back.

Does she do/start hard drugs?.....that can change a person for the worse.

Too bad you lost someone that could have been part of your life.

I know one thing.......I'm not going to Europe.

Changes

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