My Story.......

by Jesika 86 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Solace

  Jesika,

  Reliving and sharing your experiences with us must have been excruciating.

  I admire your strength so much.
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  LyinEyes

  Jesika, I just want to hug you, I know it was written with trembling fingers. It is hard to admit how bad things really were. Your dad and my dad must have went to the same parenting class. All I can say right now, is there are alot of similarities to so many of the daughters of elders here. The things my dad did as punishment to me , were nothing short of child abuse. Physical and Emotional. I never ran away, I was too afraid, I wanted to just kill myself. That was the only way I saw out, until I learned to lie about things and trust that God himself knew my heart and would forgive me for my little mistakes that were not even judicial. Most of them were my dad's laws and rules , and you never told him no either.

  Well , hon, you made it, but I know the pain never goes away. And don't be surprized if more things come back to you as you heal from all of this. Just know we are here for you and you are dear and sweet and a good woman.

  I hope you can make it to the November apostofest, ( could wild bulls hold ya back??? LOL) and we can toast a drink for all the kids out there, that had to endure and are still enduring the traumas, of being abused in whatever form it may be put on them. God , please help them all, even the grown ones who still need comfort............ Love ya Jesika.......... with all my heart , Dede
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  DakotaRed

  ((((((Jesika))))))

  What a heart wrenching story. What your uncle did was bad enough, your parents were criminal! I am so sorry for what you endured. I'm also happy for you that you have stopped your destructive lifestyle and hope you will remain free of it.

  So sad to hear of parents treating children like that. And, they say they are filled with the love of God?

  Lew W
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  Big Tex

  Jes, you're a good person and if it means anything, you're giving to your son better than what you received. If you're up to it later tonight, give me a call.

  Love ya,

  Chris
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  mouthy

  (((((((HUGS)))) Jesika- I read your story- My heart aches for you. But look at you now- Keep on keeping on sweetie. To think this was going on -in what I thought WAS a spirituel paradise( Bull)

  I would have died for that Organization & many have -I DO believe there is a higher court they must stand before ----

  Grace ((((hugs again)))
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  bigfloppydog

  Jesika, hugs to you, thank you for sharing your story with us, how brave a girl you are, you should walk tall, and hang your head high, your parents should hang their heads in shame for what they did, as well as your Uncle. What they did was truly horrible.
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  jst2laws

  Wow Jessica,

  I knew you had been through difficult times when we met in Dallas. Having read this summary of your experience has made me sad and angry.

  This sick family environment is not so unusual in the self-righteous WT world. Failure to establish the impossibly perfect family atmosphere and compliance demanded, especially of those in appointed positions, inevitably results in frustration and harmful "righteous indignation". This is despicable. The responsibility for the damage done should be shared by those leaders of an organization who promote this environment.

  I don't give out many hugs online but I thinking why not. I hugged you literally in Dallas and again in NY. So I'll give you another right here. ((((((((hugs))))))))

  Jst2laws
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  ugg

  (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( jesika)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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  jgnat

  Jesika, it is soooo brave to take these memories out of the closet and share them with us. Thank you. I echo what Shakita says:

  ... it pains me that you didn't have a normal, loving upbringing that all little girls deserve. You deserved to be told that you were dear, loved, and precious by your parents, ....

  When I lived with my abuser, I spent a lot of time trying to figure him out. It was a way to survive. The better I knew him, the better I got at missing a beating. I found myself doing the same thing, here, reading about your father. Two words scream out at me; fear and anger. This man fears the ugly coil living inside of him. Fearing that coil would rear it's ugly head and take him over, he tries to control everything and everybody around him. He has never looked at the ugliness in his own heart. Even if it destroys him, I pray that God will force him to see himself as he really is.

  ((((Jesika))))
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  mamashel

  ((((((((((((((((((((((((JESIKA)))))))))))))))))))))))

  You made me hurt for you. The only thing i can say is you are a survivor and a stronger woman because of it. You are the type of person who will be able to help someone else some day, believe me, you will.

  love

  mamashel