Do Jehovah's Witnesses turn God away from you

by kenpodragon 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • kenpodragon
    kenpodragon

    I have a lot of friends in my life. Some are real close and some are casual friends. In all, I still enjoy my connection with them and I enjoy the time I get to spend with them. One time a few years ago, I was talking to a old friend I had not seen in awhile. He was kind of offish, and I asked why. He said, "well such-in-such (who was mutual friend) was upset with something I did, and said he was going to bad mouth me to you and we would no longer be friends." I was irritated at this and told him, "never think another friend can change my opinion of another, just because they have a problem. What ever friendship is between us, is just that between us." He smiled and we shock hands, and went back to a close relationship. This reminded me of something, and taught me a interesting lesson.

    When Witnesses disfellowship people. They make the statement that the people are no longer in God's favor. They say that God has forsaken them and left them to perish with the world at Armageddon. I always found such statements hurtful, and I remember the pain in the eyes of the individuals. I remember the families acting as if the people had died, and mourned them like a death in the family. The elders would go along and say this to 100's of people yearly, and yet what were they really doing?

    In my personal convictions now, I do not see what ever God is out there as forsakening anyone. I do not see a man sitting on a thrown in some heavenly palace, smiling over the fact that his worldly organization kicking people out for things they had weaknesses on. In fact, I see God as more of the energy of life, and it rewards for love and punishes for hate. So when I see these men sitting in the judicial committee and saying, "I think this person needs to be disfellowshipped for committing fornication." They are just people in a darkened room, trying to find a light switch that does not exist. They are not doing anything that brings joy to people, and thus I question what they think "spiritual guidance" is to be. As many know, I was a elder for a short time before I left the religion, so I know what took place in back rooms and meetings.

    So I wonder something, if God is out there ... the Christian God, or any other. Do you think he would want someone talking to his friends, the people that get life from him, and saying, "we have a problem with you and thus we are going to turn God from you?" Well I do not have to think to hard on this, for I had a learning example to go by. When my friend told me what happened, I was hurt for him, but I was angry for the other friend for doing this. It strengthened my friendship with one who thought it was gone, and weakened my friendship with another who thought it was theirs to control. It helped me to see what true friendship was, and how people should only treat each other with love and never think they are more important then another.

    Thus the lesson I learned, if a God is really out there, and honestly that is a huge "?" for me. I would feel a comfort in knowing that the emotions I feel on matters, would be equal if not stronger in the creator of life.

    Just something to think about

    Dragon

  • heathen
    heathen

    Kenpdragon- I still agree that the shunning policy of the the JW is scriptual but I also think it was based on the 3 strikes you're out principle and jesus did say stuff like do not let the sun go down with you being in a provoked state against your brother and if a sinner repents to forgive 7 times 77 times so the 6 month to a year till redemption part is not scripual however I can agree that they should be allowed to revoke public ministry priviledges till they are convinced that the offender is firmly in the faith.IMO . Sounds like some of your friends are the two faced back biters that I am ohh so familiar with and I would not call the instigator a friend anymore .

  • kenpodragon
    kenpodragon

    I did confront the friend who said this, like you would expect they "sugar coated" their reasons. In the end though, like I mentioned, it weakened that friendship considerable.

    When I left the Witnesses, I left Christianity. Nothing against Christians at all!!!! I just felt something else was right for me and made more sense in the world. To be honest, in my new type of thinking. I am actually more forgiving, although I seem to have less things to forgive for. Mainly because I have very few rules to my life and I do not wear my emotions on my sleeve.

    Life is a wonderful adventure.

    Dragon

  • Mac
    Mac

    kenpo,

    I,ve of't times mused over the fact that the qualities attributed to the god of the bible, if manifested and practiced by us, (those created in his image) would be reason for reprehensibility.

    I believe there is a universal intelligence, and that we are all intrinsicaly linked to it, just as drops of water, that when returned to the ocean, become part of the whole again. I no longer feel the need to put all things in a neat little box for my own comfort.I am content not to know. Yet, i remain open to the answers!

    mac

    Edited by - mac on 1 October 2002 18:13:6

  • kenpodragon
    kenpodragon

    Mac

    I agree with what say and feel very close to what you are saying.

    Take Care

    Dragon

  • gumby
    gumby

    Kenpo,

    Ask 100 people about the practice of disfellowshiping amoung Jehovah's Witnesses and how it is carried out........then ask them if this sounds good to them.

    Common sence tells you how to treat someone erring in a BAD way.

    No one likes to hang out with an asshole that is deliberately blowing it and could care less. You just don't hang with people like that if you are a normal decent person.

    If that person is sorry and says they blew it......you get over it.

    The W.T. policies come no where near to any of these things. The harm done is severe and lasting.

    People do not need a guideline to tell them how to .....not deal with a person.... or to "let it go"

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    You always have thought provoking posts..........

    For me, I cannot believe that a God of "Love" and us being made in "His image" would think any different than us. He has feelings, and they probably are a lot more intense.

    This shunning practice, among others, is not Godly. Can anyone picture Jesus being so hateful. In fact he is the one who says to love your enemies. If someone is going astray, then Jesus would have been first in line to love on the person, to show them the right way.

    Shunning just is not right.

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne
    When my friend told me what happened, I was hurt for him, but I was angry for the other friend for doing this.

    Kenpo...be wary of manipulation. I agree with most of what you have said regarding friendship, however I feel that your friend that approached you to forewarn you that a mutal friend wanted to try and shift your affections was in fact manipulating you.

    You said:

    It strengthened my friendship with one who thought it was gone, and weakened my friendship with another who thought it was theirs to control.

    This was your first friends intention of course. Personally, I would have waited for the mutual friend to approach you FIRST and to make his/her attempt at trying to shift your affection. Once they have done this, your first friend's warning can then comfort you when you respond unfavourably to the mutual friend. Whether your reaction to the mutual friend is negative or indifferent largely depends on the deepth of the friendship you share with the mutual friend. Is what they have to say of benefit to you, either now or in the future??

    You said:

    It helped me to see what true friendship was

    Babycakes, I don't want to disagree with you, but I do. Your first friend was telling you that mutual friend was going to try and damage your friendship with yourself and him/her, YET, this was an assumption not yet tested.

    Let your friends have their battles amongst themselves but try and stay neutral. Now when mutual friend approaches you, only then should you analyse their motive, and only then should you decide to shift your affections and loyalties and friendship, based on what they have to say, and the validity of it, and also based on your relationship with mutual friend in the past.

    Just my thoughts.

    Beck

  • kenpodragon
    kenpodragon

    Beck

    Good thoughts indeed!! I agree and I have been very careful, human weakness though does cause me to think to much on it sometimes.

    Take Care

    Dragon

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Analysis is a good thing....I watch human behaviour and probably analyse it too much for my own good. Most manipulators recognise another manipulator's strageties, what does that say about me LOL.

    I am in a blended family relationship, and estranged partners and step children rate high on my list of manipulators. I have seen the scenario you described above re-enacted over and over again, I guess it has probably made me overly cautious and 'on guard' as a result.

    Just more of my thoughts. You take care also.

    Beck

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