Over the last year I have had to fly to many destinations. In doing so, I have memorized the flight attendant speech that begins each flight. My favorite part is, "in the event of a water landing, your seat can be used as a floatation device." What are the reasons I love this part. One, I have not flown over one body of water in each flight I took. Second, would landing in the water really be a "landing?" To me, that sounds more like a water crashing, because last I checked I did not buy a ticket to a water airport. So I sit there through this useless speech and warning, and wonder why they do not say it like it is? Well perhaps like our days as a Witnesses, they figure we can not handle the real truth. So they give us a few small hopes that make us think, "everything is in good hands, and we are going to be okay." When I became a servant, and then an elder. I was always a little shocked with what really went on out of ear shot of the publishers. The in-fighting, the belittling talk of other (especially woman), the confusion over issues and procedures, and of course the favoritism. Yet to the general Jehovah's Witness, this was something they never knew about. They would probably even defend their ignorance of these issues, by saying these points are made up to make the Witnesses look bad. How do you like it in life now, when it comes to hearing the truth? Do you want people to give you just enough information to make you happy, or do you want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly of the matter? Personally, I do not like to connect with anything to strong until I have looked into it deep enough to avoid any unseen surprises later. Don't get me wrong, I love a surprise now an then too. The thing is, the surprise of a Christmas gift is one thing. Finding out you joined another organization, group or befriended someone who have hidden agendas and thoughts you do not agree with, is another. In the words of the old television series "Dragnet" ... "Just the facts, mam!" Perhaps that is the good thing I took from the Witnesses, it made me realize that not everything is what it is. It taught me to see that there are often more deep stories, then their are the small shallow ones we think we know. So perhaps I found a positive thought about my time with the Witnesses. They burned me to a point that I do not want to ever dance in the fire again without first finding a "fire proof suits" or at least a fire extinguisher nearby. So when I sit in the plane and the flight attendant stands up and says, "in the event of a water landing, your seat can be used as a floatation device." I wish I could stand up and say, why don't you tell it like it is. In the event of a crash, do not worry about what the seat can do. Just put your head between your legs and kiss you ass good-bye, because in my time on this planet "I have not heard to many news stories about safe water landings with people swimming around with there floating plane seat." Feels good to know the whole truth, doesn't it. Well it feels good to know what you are really facing, and not live in a fantasy world of another's creation. My thought Dragon
Your seat can be used as a floatation device?
by kenpodragon 11 Replies latest jw friends
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joannadandy
Nice post Ken, you always seem to be pretty logical in your thinking.
However I couldn't help but think about warning labels. For example pop bottles tell you to open it AWAY from face as an explosion may occur and result in injury.
Or beware, contents served hot--it's coffee I should hope so!
Read some warning labels, it's really hysterical because you can picture people actually trying some of these things. Darwin is alive and well, let's let nature take it's course and stop warning these people of their stupidity!
I understand the whole idea you were making behind sugar coating the truth of the matter. But sometimes we can go to the other end of the spectrum and over simplify the truth in effect treating people like morons.
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Simon
Since when did metal 'float' !
I agree, put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye !
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Farkel
: In doing so, I have memorized the flight attendant speech that begins each flight. My favorite part is, "in the event of a water landing, your seat can be used as a floatation device."
When I was on a long assignment in Hawaii about ten years ago, I dated a former flight attendant. She said in flight school the instructor told them flat out that the "flotation device" lines were total bullshit required by the FAA and designed to allay passenger fears about crashes over water. Since those big jets have stall speeds at over 100 mph, it means they become falling rocks at less than that speed.
Simon,
My friend told me her instructor said EXACTLY the same thing you did in her training class: "When you tell the passengers to put their head between their legs over the sea, you are really telling them to kiss their asses goodbye! If you crash at sea, count on dying."
Farkel
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RunningMan
I've always considered those flotation devices to be the aeronautic equivalent of Wile Coyote holding up an umbrella as a boulder falls on him.
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Francois
I personally know some women whose seats are indeed flotation devices and in fact could keep them on top from Hawaii to Tokyo Bay. Of course, they'd be face down.
franncois
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gumby
"How do you like it in life now, when it comes to hearing the truth? Do you want people to give you just enough information to make you happy, or do you want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly of the matter?
When it comes to prescription drugs sold on TV....I want to hear the good bad and ugly.
Unfortunately........no human ear can catch the wording of the tweeked out dude they use to list the SIDE EFFECTS.
They candycoat the drugs and all the useful benifits it has.....then rattle off the downside at 100 miles an hour.
This is how the airlines should handle the seat cushion thing......problem is......they don't have enough stewardess that can talk that fast.
This method is going to be adopted in the door to door work soon.
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kenpodragon
From what I have seen on the commercials and in the airplanes, no one is listening much anyway. Basically, I think they know it is all BS they were not meant to understand fully anyway. I guess it is a thought on society in general, "do not confuse us with to much information!"
My added thought
Dragon
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simplesally
A little airplane humor:
``Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.''
``There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane...''
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: ``We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.''
Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.''
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Angharad
Some more airport humour posted by SYN a while back