Hi from Houston,
After 2 months of investigating the WTS, I have finally confirmend what my heart and mind told for a long time. I have kept up with the post in here during that time, and I want to say thank you to all. A short history of myself. I am 27. My mom & dad started studying with JW's when I was 3. Grew up in the org along with my now 25 yr sis and 21 year bro. Both my parents where baptized in late 70's. I was what you could consider a zeolous young JW in the making. I got baptized at 15 (peer pressure) and DF'd at 18 (Mom turned me into the ss police). I have since married and my wife and I have a 4 yr girl. I never took to another religion (since in my mind I thought JW's were the only "true religion"). Mom suggested to me 3 months ago that I should really look into some spiritual upbringing for my daughter. I guess she believed that I was going to get reinstated after enduring some humilliation at the hands of the congregation. After discussing things over with my wife (never a JW) we decided to look into our spirituatl needs. I started to remember all of the things about my chilhood (I blocked out alot). Good memories and bad. I remember that i was happy as a young child, but as i got older and after my baptism things just kept getting worse. I remember things that happened to my sis. Over hearing conversations of brothers and sisters and my parent's. Things that happened to my bro. I told my self that if i was going to put my daughter through all that i went through then i had to make sure that the JW's were all they claimed to be. At about that time my wife and I bought a new house. At the closing I heard the TV comercial about Dateline and the JW's. I didn't get to see it the day it came on, and I actually forgot about it. A month went by, and mom again made the comment about spiritual needs of the family. The first thing that popped in my mind was "I missed the Dateline show about JW's". I told myself that i would search for it on the Internet. I found it. I saw it. And I cried in my office. I went to Silentlambs.org. checked it out. I search more info on the net. By the way I have had the internet at my hands for the last 6 years and I did see that there where quite a few X-JW websites. I never went to them before, because I was still going off and on up until 2 years ago and would listen to their scare tactics about apostates on the net. After 2 months of surfing most "apostate" sites, reading "Crisis of Conscience", seeing the "Dateline" "Panorama" shows, going to an EX-JW meet-up, I am fully deprogrammed. My mind is finally clear. I bought my wife the book "Awakening of a Jehovah's Witness" so that what could get a glimpse of JW mentality. It has not been an easy road by no means, but i am glad to know that I am FREE. My life story, like most of ya'lls is full of hurt and pain. I am learning day by day to let go of those pains. What of the rest of my family you say? Well lets start out with Dad. Dad was disfellowshipped (drinking alot) when I was 16 and promptly re-instated after 6 months of humiliation, only to get DF'd again 2 years ago (alcoholism). He is still out, and still believes all the WTS crap. He still drinks and goes on 1 week drinking binges from time to time (I now know why, all the JW pressure). Mom is still a good JW. She aux. pioneers every month. She wanted to be a reg. pioneer, but the elder would not let her (2 Df'd family members). She still talks to me. I have tried to tell her about what i found out. She won't listen. I understand why. Sis never got baptised and is married to a "wordly guy". She stopped going to the meetings when she got married 3 years ago, but because of my mom still believed all the JW propaganda. Until I started telling her about what I found out. My mom was hoping to start a book study with my bro-in-law, I guess hoping he and my sis would become faithful JW's. I blew that study good-bye when i presented to them my evidence last week. Bro was never baptised and from time to time still goes to the meetings with my mom. I tried talking to him about what I found out, and he is kind of scared of what i am telling him. I know that my mom has the pressure on him. Only time will tell what is going to happen to this family. Everything is coming to a boiling point. When i mentioned to my sis about the pedophile stuff, she began to tell me about a brother who tried to rape her and his daughter actually was telling my sister to let him do it so that he would leave them alone while she was barricading the door of her "friends" room. My sister had to escape from a window and run home. There is alot more to this story. I will find out the truth. I do want to say thank you to all. Your stories have helped me heal my wounds. I would like to extend my arms of friendship to all. This is just a short version of my life. My whole JW experience would take a book (maybe someday). Thank you for reading. I hope that my future post are as helpful to others as yours were to me.
