Death in family/JW funeral

by wednesday 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    This has been a most dreadful 2 weeks for me. My mother, a faithful JW, finally died after a long illness.I had been by her side all the way., My brother& wife , the JW ,rarely made an apperance-but showed up at last minute to make sure he got her jewelry. He rarely showed up because i am not active so not considered good association.Also he had no close feelings for her. So much for love.

    I could not help but notice how disjointed and confusing the sermon was on death. If i had not known what he was trying to get accross, i would have been very confused.I found no comfort in the sermon .My 2 non jw sons barely could get through it.However during the time of my mothers illness, i applauded her faith and helped her, because it is proven that most any kind of faith will help a person endure death easier.

    I've been wihout a computer the last 2 weeks so i had no idea how the silent lambs march went-until i checked it out on the web. Looks like the WTS just gave them the cold shoulder. Pity the powerless-those without lawyers to hide the filthy facts.

    i am feeling depressed and ill. Many things trouble me. My son, is determined to go fight if necessary in the war on iraq. He and his wife met oversees and have given me and my husband 2 beautiful children.. But he is willing to leave them with family not me,(i'm too sick and he wants no jw infulence)and go defend our country.

    Anyway, jusdt wanted to check back in and see how everyone is. wednesday

    Edited by - wednesday on 6 October 2002 15:56:0

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    ((((((((((((((( Wednesday))))))))))))))))

    So sorry to hear about your loss. I am so glad you and your mother were able to share her last days together.

    I can understand how you feel about your son , going to away to fight, it must be scarey. I have 3 children and for all I have lost in life, they have more than made up for. The thought of letting them go to war to die , is more than I want to think about.

    My youngest son, is only 8 and talks about be a fighter pilot, the move "Pearl Harbor" is his favorite movie. He says he is going to join the army etc, and he is only 8 and I just tell him , he has the choice to do what ever he thinks is right when he is a man. But secretly, I can't stand the thought of him actually joining the army. We have several members of family that serve so he hears about alot and there is an Airforce Base in our home town. I guess all the thingshe has seen in the last year , the terriost, wars, innocents dying he feels strongly. And in his 8 yr old mind, it is his way of fighting back I guess, he has always been a sensitive kid and of the 3 of my kids, he being the youngest, leaving the JW hurt him the most , and he wanted to make sure Jehovah still loved us and that we loved Him. He had many armeggedon dreams and we had to work thru that.

    But I promised myself that when my kids grown up , and decide to make choices in their life, to be their own people , excersing common sense , I will support them.

    I may not like their choices , because I don' t want to lose them or them to be far away. I am glad I have many more years with them at home, before I have to let them go.

    Wednesday, know that you are being thought of , I am so sorry about your mom's passing and many hugs are sent your way.

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    (((((((((((((((((((((Wednesday)))))))))))))))))))))

    wow, you displayed true love to your mother. Giving her support, no matter what her beliefs, so that she would not be ill or die alone.

    Please take some time our for yourself. You need to recover from the emotional strain in dealing with your mother's death but also with the dysfunctional family scene (and the jw thoughts )

    As far as you son goes, let him live his life as he wants to. Isn't that what we want? As a mother I'm sure you are afraid of what may happen, but there are no guarentees in life whether here or there. Just be supportive and show him the love you have for him and his family.

    (((((((((((cyberhugs))))))))))))

    j2bf

  • Dia
    Dia

    You may find a place to grieve in the Catholic church. This month, October, they have a special mass for those who have died (anytime). And all who are grieving, or remembering or celebrating the memory of someone (and anyone who is interested) can come, and be together. It is unspeakably beautiful. And makes me very, very weepy. It is quite something for an exjw to attend. Having been around to bury people so coldly.

    I so believe we all go 'somewhere' after death.

    In Mexico, they have 'the Day of the Dead' at this time. And it is quite a tradition for all the family to come out to the cemetary with candles and a picnic. They actually stay at the cemetary through the entire nite. All the families, together, they fill all the gravesites. I've never seen it in person, but I find it to be a beautiful faith tradition.

    I'll be thinking of you this year.

    I feel for your son, to be caught between such hard places during a very hard year.

    May God bless you all.

  • ugg
    ugg

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( wednesday )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    (((Wednesday)))

    My condolences to your loss, and my admiration to you for the strength & love you were able to show. You will in days & months to come truly appreciate having had the chance to care for your mother and spend that precious time with her, unlike your siblings who will have to live their lives knowing what they didn't do, and should have done.

    As others have mentioned, take time to heal yourself. You have a beautiful soul, let it recover.

  • imanaliento
    imanaliento

    sorry to hear about your mother. (((((((((wednesday))))))))))

    you being by her side probably meant more to her than you'll ever know. some people ( YOU ) are just downright special. hugs from Jackie

  • Kenneson
    Kenneson

    Wednesday,

    I'm sorry to hear about your mother's death. I know you loved her and you can thank God you had quality time with her until the end. Some people don't get that.

  • sf
    sf

  • curious
    curious

    Wednesday.... I feel so bad for you... I too lost my mother one month ago she wasn't really sick but only lasted a week in the hospital, however, unlike you I have 3 sisters' and between the 4 of us we were with her 24/7 for that week and supported each other constantly and still do! I just can't imagine the saddness of going through this alone, it still hasn't sank in for us yet and we didn't really get along all that well with her... BUT she was our mother and we did love her, but you do have the people here so let them be your brothers & sisters & friends to talk to.

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