Are you afraid to die?

by kenpodragon 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • kenpodragon
    kenpodragon

    I was about 12 years old when this happened, but I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a late evening and I was by myself in our home. I grew up in a country home far from most any thing. The neighbors lights were something on the horizon, but nothing close or easy to see. I went down to my parents basement to get something to eat out of the pantry, my sister was suppose to make me something, but she took off with her friends to have some fun. I stepped into the pantry and noticed the light was out. I turned and the door shut. It was in pitch blackness and I could see nothing, not my fingers, my feet or my body in any way. I tried to open the door, but the door was locked. I set there in panic. I was not scared of the dark, but at the moment I felt the pain of truly being alone. I set silent in this room of darkness. No noise, no light and nothing to even resemble a image my eyes could adjust too. I was facing the Witnesses image of death. As I have grown older in this life, I have learned that our thoughts of death greatly affects how we live life. We always heard we were running the great race, and the end was in site. What we did not realize though is that the end is always in site. We think and accept death for what it is to us every moment of every day. Whether we are happy, or sad, or even somewhere emotionally undefined. Death is there, we know it and we feel it and when we think it is gone ... we remember it again. So when I think of the Witness view of nothingness, of sitting in blackness of no conscience state. What happens? I step into the pantry of my past, I sit there wondering "why?" Why am I here and what brings such a sad and dark ending to a life of so much light? To me the answer is not about what a scripture says, but about what my heart says. My heart screamed out, "does this make sense?" and the answer was "no!!" Why would so many religions, so many people, and so many events point to the fact that death is not a empty black room of nothingness? Perhaps it is not about what we hear and about what someone tries to teach us, but about what we find on our own. When we come to terms with death, and when we accept our own personal view of what death is. We begin to live life and know what is in it for us, perhaps we develop a healthy fear of living and stop having the unhealthy fear of dying. Not long ago, I set at the bed side of a friend as she left this world. She breathed her last breath, blinked her last site of life and passed from one world to the next. I was not there to say, she went to heaven or went to the next plain of existence. I was there to say, "above all things, I know you have not gone to that dark closet and your mind has not made a journey unknown .... I only asked that she keep my seat warm in that next phase ... so that we may share a cosmic beer one day and laugh on why we never fully understood life, and were with people who overly obsessed on death." In the end, my favorite question to ask of people is to bring to them this thought, "are you afraid to die?" and if so "why?" Because to me life is no longer about what happens to me when I die, with me going to some place I could never control anyway. No life is about that young man who stood up in that pantry, felt around for a light bulb, screwed it in and saw the light of what was really happening and unlocked the door of his fears, and realized the true darkness was only in the mind that could not find the way out. So, "are you afraid to die?" My thought Dragon

    Edited by - kenpodragon on 13 October 2002 2:55:21

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Kenpodragon,

    I have entertained thoughts like yours. For my psychology paper I wanted to write about my theory that our understanding of our own mortality and the way we feel about it is the missing link in our personalities.

    I tried to find information regarding how people view death and how it affects their personalities but could only find rewritten Elizabeth Kubler-Ross information on death and dying. So, I had to write my paper on the ethics of euthanasia and the Hemlock Society.

    Perhaps I will be able to do my own research for my masters.

    I believe we might as well go ahead and live our lives. To fear death is, in a way, to fear life also.

    Love,

    Robyn

    Edited by - robdar on 13 October 2002 3:9:16

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan
    When we come to terms with death, and when we accept our own personal view of what death is. We begin to live life and know what is in it for us, perhaps we develop a healthy fear of living and stop having the unhealthy fear of dying.

    I only left JW about 6 months ago, and during my 10 year cult ride I never gave any serious thought to my own mortality (I was gonna live forever).

    Since I left, the recognition of my own mortality and the shortness and seemingly futile nature of our existence has hit me full force. I'm very much struggling with finding purpose and meaning in life and death. Also, at around the same time I left I moved from an apartment in the suburbs to a house in a more poor urban area. This change of scenery hasn't helped me much either, as I just don't understand psychology/sociology of the somewhat savage, dog-eat-dog world of the urban lower-class.

    Nobody in my immediate family has died. However, my dad is near 65 and that is somewhat long-lived for males in his family. He does not manage stress or anger well, I don't see him living much past 70, so I know that I will be dealing with that in the next decade probably. I also have an autistic brother who is only a few years older than me, but I do not expect him to live for much more than another decade, as he has the worst eating habits you could possibly imagine (fat, grease, sugar, cholesterol to the max). He has lived somewhat of a nightmarish life. He was teased mercilessly as a kid, by kids in the neighborhood, and by me too (something that I gives me a lot of guilt and regret). At school, he was always lumped with the "retards" even though he was extremely capable in some areas. In his 20's he started having seizures, for which he now has to take large quantities of medication to prevent, but he still has them occasionally. He works vacuuming floors at a hotel, and essentially lives a loner life, which is fine with him as he simply does not relate to other people aside from the most basic things. He lives near where I work and I could easily visit him more often than I do but to be honest visiting with him depresses me. I wonder what in the hell the purpose of his life is, if any. It seems that he would be better off...you know.

    I'm rambling...I'll stop now.

  • scootergirl
    scootergirl

    I am not afraid to die but just not ready to at the moment.

  • Crystal
    Crystal

    Anticipating death is worse than death itself.

  • Granny Linda
    Granny Linda

    If I had more time I'd get long winded, but work calls.

    So, I just "ditto" Scootergirl.

    granny

  • RubyTuesday
    RubyTuesday

    I know what your saying Danthman...more than you will ever know!!:)

  • Shakita
    Shakita

    Kenpodragon:

    I'm alittle claustrophobic, so your description of being locked in that closet gave me the creeps!

    I really enjoy reading your posts. This one makes me alittle sad though. After losing two people very close to me last year, I don't think I am afraid of death itself. But, after watching them go through so much pain, I hope I die in my sleep.

    Mrs. Shakita

  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    AFRAID? "We have nothing to fear but fear itself".President Roosevelt after the bombing of pearl harbor and the declaration of war against japan.It was a phrase that would put many lives in harms way for many years to come. Were many afraid to die? Well,another phrase was coined during that war,"There are no atheists in foxholes".Was that phrase true?When death is imminent,does fear of the unknown cause one to be afraid?So,Are you afraid to die?I would think the answer to that question would depend on the persons view of what death actually is.(ie.)A very personal experience might help to understand what i am trying to say.Sometime ago my mother died in my arms.Just before she died i might add,the doctors said that she was in a coma.MY mom was a catholic, as the death rattle was upon her she uttered the words,"Jesus,Mary and Joseph".Being a catholic she was taught that Jesus,Mary and Joseph were in heaven and that invoking their name would assure her entrance into heaven.This she did while in a coma.I cant explain it.Was my mom afraid to die? I dont know.This occurred 30 years ago. I am now 60 yrs old.It still lingers in my mind.As for me Ken, i dont know what to believe about the hereafter anymore, and not knowing what to expect when i die there is the uneasy nervousness of what will become of me when that inevitable time has arrived.And yet i think not only of myself but of all those who have gone before me and those to follow.And i think of this very day,"AM I AFRAID TO DIE".The honest answer is------"YES". Blueblades

  • terabletera
    terabletera

    I think it is not being dead that bothers me but rather, how will I accomplish it? Whatever it is, we all reach it, that is for sure. My sister and I were discussing her husband's grandmother's recent passing. She had said over and over in her death bed that she wanted to go. When she ended up in a rest home, she was miserable. I could'nt blame her. Even if you recieve visitors, do you wish to just wait for death? Gawd she was 93. So I guess I am also troubled by the idea of living too long.

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