I AM A NEWBIE, NEED HELP

by wildfire 46 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Tinkerbell4125
    Tinkerbell4125

    Trust us, there is life after the watchtower. The more you study and learn about the org. the stronger you will be. Realize that the *world* isn't as bad as the W.T.S. makes it out to be. They want you to think that way so you will be dependent on them!!! Hang in there sweetie. You'll be okay! The fact that you are seeing the WTS for what it really is, and that you are here.....show's you're on the right tract! Give yourself credit for that and pat yourself on the back!

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{cyber hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Tink

  • wildfire
    wildfire

    THANK YOU ALL ,,,, I FEEL SO LOVED...HERE AND LAURIE,, MY TRUE HERO,, AND ADOPTED DAUGHTER,,, I HAVE 3 BUT HELL ONE MORE NEVER HURT... HAHA,,,,, AS FAR AS THERAPY,,, IT IS A GODSEND FOR ME,,, MY THERAPIST COULDNT BELIEVE ALL THE POSTS WHEN WE WERE IN SESSION AND LOOKED UP THIS SITE,,, I HAVE YET TO TELL HIM I HAVE POSTED I THINK HE WILL BE PROUD OF ME....... MAKING PROGRESS,,,SLOW DELIBERATE ,,,,, BUT IT HAS KEPT ME FROM CHECKING OUT OF THIS CRAZY WORLD AND TINK HEY YOU LIKE POETRY WELL WHEN I WAS IN THE PSYCHE WARD A WHILE BAC K I WAS INSPIRED TOWRITE AT LEAST 10,,,,,,, I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH ONE THAT WAS WELL LIKED BY THE DOCTORS THERE HERE GOES

    ANGER

    WHEN THE ANGER COMES

    WHAT WILL YOU SEE

    CAN I HELP MYSELF

    OUT OF THIS TRAGEDY!!!!!!

    THE SHAME, THE GUILT WILL BE MY LOT

    UNTIL ALL MY DEMONS

    HAVE BEEN CAST OUT

    PLEASE BRING BACK MY LAUGHTER,,,, MY HEART

    I NEED TO FEEL LIKE I HAVE A PART

    IN SOME VAST EXTERNAL PLAN

    WHEN THE ANGER COMES

    WHO CAN REALLY SAY???

    WHERE THE ANGER ENDS

    AND THE HEALING BEGINS.................HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT ,,,I HAVE MANY MORE....

    ALL MY LOVE....WILDFIRE

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    Welcome Wildfire, love your name , reminds me of the horse named wildfire song... Loved it.

    You are doing just fine, taking baby steps.I think we all did at first and it gave us the control over our own lives and decisions, very important life altering decisions we had to make.

    Your story is very similar to so many here and you are never alone with so many good people here. I hope to see you post more often, and express yourself , it is great therapy. And it builds true friendships, something many of have never had as JW"s. I am a D/A ex jw, was JW my whole life, left about a year ago with hubby and kids and never looked back. There were times I questioned if I had made a terrible mistake leaving the org, but my friends here never made fun of my insecurity they all understood . They told me there are phases of recovery and questioning yourself was just one of many. That was so true. I still wonder about God and his plan for this world, but I know one thing now...JW"s are not God's channel and have alot of explaining to Jesus for what they have done to the flock of people who suffer so much being JW. RIght now I don't have alot of answers , I just trust that God, Jesus or if they are the same, will be just and if I am a good person, there isnt anything to fear.

    Again , welcome to the board and let us know how things are going,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, lyineyes/ dede

  • shera
    shera

    Hi,I am new here as well.I DA myself 10 years ago and for many yrs had anixety problems.I have been visting other sites and talking to other x-jws or inactive JW's.They have helped me a lot and I am a happier person.I must say I still have some controling problems..I hate to be controled in any way and I can get very sensitive at times and take things the wrong way. :-)

    At first I was angry with all the things I heard about the witnsses when I first started to visit sites.I felt all those years dedicating myself and having that fear hold on me ..that I'm gonna die...All the "new lights" and the old teachings that I never knew of when I was a JW and The molesting issues!!!!!!!!!! sick and repulisive!!! Today at very much of my relief..I'm glad I am no longer involved with the organization.They no longer have a hold on me and I donot really care if they talk to me..I feel no shame,like the way they would hope I feel.I look at them in stores and look away like they are someone I donot know.I suppose I'm lucky,my immediate family was not involved at with the JW's ,so I never had the feeling of my parents and siblings looking at me as if I were dead.

    Well nice to meet yahs and take care all.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Welcome to wildfire, kelpie and shera!

    There are many kind and warm people posting here. I am sure you will reap the benefit of their collective experience soon.

    Wildfire,

    Knowing as I do how big-headed 'some' men in the organization can get, I cannot fathom living with someone who thought they were God's special property!! Especially when these 'anointed brothers of Christ' treat their wives and children in a way that Jesus of the Bible NEVER would have.

    Kelpie and shera,

    No matter where you are in your departure from the organization, someone here is at the same point.

    outnfree

  • shera
    shera

    Thanks for the welcome

  • wildfire
    wildfire

    HI ALL ,,,, I AM SO HAPPY TO GE T ALL THE GREETINGS FROM ALL MY TRUE FRIENDS...... the ones at the hall are ignoring me as i missed my first assembly this past weekend sure felt strange but i did it...... it is getting alittle easier as time goes by ,,,,, but the indoctrination has taken years so i knowit wont go away overnight.....again thanks for all your love an d concern

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