info on bipolar

by texastornado 14 Replies latest jw friends

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  saltiest

  Welcome!

  It took many years of thinking I had depression and being on anti-depressants (which just made it worse) before I was diagnosed as Bi-polar. Finally, I had a medication that actually helped. Like everyone has mentioned, I struggle everyday with taking my Lithium, either just forgetting it and wondering why I'm feeling so wacked, or purposely not taking it because I'm in such a spiffy mood.

  Anyhow, regarding the viewpoint of the organization. My mother has depression, my oldest sister has SAD, and myself am bi-polar. I have been out of the org or seven plus years now, but I recall being looked down upon because I wasn't "normal" (hah, like anyone was/is). I once heard some teenagers at the hall talking about how I was a freak because I was so moody, and how the whole family is just weird because "they're all on drugs for some mental weakness". Yeah, nothing like a boost to a 17 year old that's debating on whether to kill herself.

  Needless to say, I wasn't treated well for many reasons, but once my depression kicked in, it seemed to incease. I recall a couple brothers talking to my mom at one of our stupid sheparding calls and asking how our mental health was going. When my mom said she was taking a specific med and that I was seeing a counselor, they were not happy. I swear, they tried every trick in the book to get my mom and myself off meds and not talking to anyone about anything. They did the "you're not relying on Jehovah. You're playing right into Satan's hands" and so on.

  I'm told the attitude has changed, and I know they've had articles on acceptance of such things, but we all know how hypocrital they can be; printing one thing, and acting the other way.

  The best of luck with your life. I would suggest picking up a copy of "Moodswing" by ROnald R. Fieve, M.D. It had helped me immensely, especially comming to terms with why I've done and still struggle with certain things in my life.

  Take care,

  Alicia
• 

  LyinEyes

  I read everything on Bipolar depression that I could get my hands on. I have bipolar 2 a less severe highs than bipolar 1 but the depressions are as bad. I have severe mood swings and feelings that only someone with this could understand. My mother was most likely, in my opinion bipolar , she commited suicided years ago, so I dont know if she was ever diagnosed or not, I was only 18 when she died. THings were more hush hush back then, and the family just called her "episodes" nervous breakdowns, but my memory is much worse than that of her. I remember one time she was running down the road, a very busy road, in the rain, in her nighgown and a red raincoat. SHe was crying and she was laying in the road. I was 7 i think. I just stood in the rain as far as my dad would allow me to go and screaming for her to get up . Next thing I remember an uncle loaded my sister and me in the car and my dad was fighting my mother in the road, she wanted to kill him . I know wonder how much was mental illness and how much was his bullshit and the JW bullshit at the time. But she was also on and off of many prescription drugs. That was just one of many ;many things I saw myself. THere were many overdoses, many "rest" times at hospitals. This hurt alot as a kid because we were not allowed to see her for weeks at a time, I thought she was really dead and they didnt tell me.

  Well, anyway,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I was diagnosed as probable bipolar 2 because of severe rapid cycling mood swings and depressive episodes. I have done so much better since I got out of JW, in fact it has been a long time since I was clinicaly depressed. Some days I go from happy to sad, but not as bad. I take Klonapin which is used in my case, as a mood stabilzer, and it helps . I am prone to panick attacks and had the worst one of my life last night. Never felt like my heart would explode before.

  I hate taking meds, because of what my mom did , I thought it meant you were weak to turn to meds to make it. But I have learned that a diabetic can not change their metoblic imblance and a person who has a true chemical imbalance in their brains can not either.

  I hope you find a good doctor, there is alot of trail and error in the meds. Just don't give up, there are so many more things out there today. I wish they had all the knowledge they do know when my mom was alive. I still don't know alot of the things that happened to her or what the doctors know, she took those secrets with her I guess. But I can say I sure understand why she did some things she did.

  The elders are not doctors, they are not even good social workers, who would direct you to the needed doctors. They had no clue what this illness is like, and no amount of prayer , faith , field service is going to make it better. The first step in getting better is just finding out what you have, that it has a name and a treatment.
• 

  larc

  Could you folks here do me a favor? Could you take the survey, I put on another thread? Thanks
• 

  jurs

  Hi TEX,

  My mother suffers from manic depression as well as having a personality disorder. I understand that bi polar and manic depression are similar and often one is misdiagnosed as the other. My mother and I have been estranged on and off most of my adult life. My childhood was total HELL.. LyinEyes............ scenes like the one you experienced were common in my household. My throat feels tight and I'm typing and crying just thinking about it. I've hated mental illlness and I'm ashamed to say I hated my mother for having it. I'm scared too death that I'll get it or that I even have it but don't know it. Not so long ago I met a lady I went to school who had Bi Polar. We hit it off. She's a wonderful , witty woman who has helped me see mental illness in a new way. She gave me a book written by Patty Duke called "Brilliant Madness". It was sooooooooo good. Hugs to you Tex....

  jurs
• 

  LyinEyes

  Bipolar is ManicDepressive . Same thing. The medical term has just been changed. Alot of folks still call it manic depression, but it is the same thing. There is also as I stated above varing degrees of this disorder, it is not as black and white as they thought. The main current mainstay is the ups and downs, coming and going.

  I think Manic depressive is the better word for it myself, it describes it so much better than bipolar to me anyway. But bipolar has to do with the two conflicting sides of the illness, so they changed the name.

  I read Patty Duke's book , A Brilliant Maddness.........

  And the one Megadude spoke of,,,,,,,,,,The Unquiet mind..........boy did they book tell it like it is. Both books are first hand experience and wonderful reads.

  The thing that helps when you feel so sick , of not being so called normal as others in brain , is the good things about you . Even thou you might not have a steady mood, many times people with bipolar disorder, are very intelligent, extreamly creative, and are able to use that energy for good. If you can capture the energy and use it postively , it can make you see deep within yourself . Or it can turn and make you hate yourself and make you feel helpless and like you have no good contribution to anyone. The meds really can level it out, in my case I take such a low nightly dose, I still feel ups and downs, and I am not totally without mood swings, but hey I am woman too. LOL

  I just don't want to get too far out there, if I get off meds, I regret it, it takes so long to dig back out of the black hole. I have good friends who reassure me to continue on the one little pill and don't beat myself up about it taking it. We all have our physical flaws and this is just one of many. But it can make other emotional issues, like JW crap so intensified you cant deal with it.

  Best of luck to you on what you are going thru, and welcome, dede of the unquiet mind class lol