The Loving Elders

by MoeJoJoJo 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • MoeJoJoJo
    MoeJoJoJo

    This is what has been happening with us lately. We (my husband and I) have not been to any meetings in over a year. The elders have stopped by quite often (once they stopped by and they were here from 10:30 12:00, they left the others in their car group, out in the car the whole time!! I did not know that there were others out there until the elders were leaving, I thought that was very inconsiderate. I saw people in the backseat as they were pulling out of the drive.)

    Well, that was the last time I talked with the elders-they told me I had turned my back on God, etc. etc. I did not appreciate any thing they said, it was not very encouraging to say the least. Of course, I had already made up my mind that it wasnt the truth so anything they said had no effect except to irritate me.

    The elders keep stopping by but my husband always answers the door when its them. My husband told them basically that he does not feel that the organization is Gods. He mentioned the association with the UN and the child molestation problems. (The elders did not know about the UN involvement at the time, BTW)

    The last time they stopped by they asked him why he doesnt write a letter of DA. He told them that he will not DA but will not have association. They keep trying to get info to DF are we celebrating birthdays, and holidays? He will not give them a direct answer, asks questions in reply to their questions.

    They stopped by again this Saturday and talked with him again and asked if he believes it is Gods organization, again he said no. They have tried to show him that God has always used an organization and that the men have all been imperfect, you know, the same-old, sad story.

    When they left they said they would meet with the body of elders and make a decision but that this could not be left for another six months. My husband asked what that meant, if they were going to DF, they said no they didnt have anything to DF him for but that they would read a letter to the congregation stating that he no longer wanted to be known as a JW, but they would have to meet with the elder body first before making a decision.

    Sounds like they are basically giving him the axe, they are so afraid hell talk to other members of the cong. and share what he knows.

    Whats your opinion, what should we do? Do you think theyll come after me next?

    I told my husband that they are such loving people, getting rid of those who were stumbled by the Governing Body, after all the UN scandal and molestation policy were major factors in our leaving. How happy we are that we were stumbled. But how sad it is going to be if our family wont speak to us anymore. Practically all of my husbands family are JWs.

  • metatron
    metatron

    Tell them you were wrong and you're just suffering from depression.
    Add a doctor's note , if needed.
    Throw in some articles in the magazines about how depressed people engage in 'wild talk'.

    Do not DA yourself. Warn them (very kindly) that you don't want any legal action to
    come against the elders for harassing people who are suffering illness.

    Do not converse about any doubts or scandals you hear about on the internet.

    You're simply depressed, that's all

    metatron

  • blindfool
    blindfool

    What strange things the WTBTS does in the name of Jehovah.

    I understand how you feel. Its like being held hostage to this organization. My wifes family is also all in the "truth." At least you and your husband agree. This is one thing to be thankful for.

    Whats really funny is how they treat people like me. I learned some of the "truth about the truth" before I took the big plunge. So now I'm just known as an unbelieving husband. I can associate with my wifes family and I'm treated just like family. But, if I had found out about the truth after babtism, I would not be welcome.

    Didn't Jesus say something about the Phariees follwoing the laws of men and not the laws of God?

  • ThiChi
    ThiChi

    Why do you really want to stay in? Family? Friends? If you want to stay, then M is right, you need to backtrack your statements and stay low key!

    However, if you have had enough, and are tired of looking over your back, then DA and welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!!

    Edited by - thichi on 14 October 2002 13:37:49

  • Dismembered
    Dismembered

    Please listen to metatrons advice. Don't let them get away with DAing you. Just slip away. Tell them there is no spiritual emergency at your home. That your just taking a "breather". Especially if you have family in the cult.

    Tell the "elders" and everyone else from the congregation to CALL first, (before being so damn inconsiderate in just dropping by) and ask your PERMISSION to come over. Then you can continually have the upper hand and ALWAYS tell them a resounding NO.

    Dismembered

    Edited by - Dismembered on 14 October 2002 13:46:59

  • imanaliento
    imanaliento

    tell them the next time they come that you no longer want them coming to your door, your work, or conversing with you and your family in anyway or a you will get a court order barring them from doing such. then stick to it.

  • AjaxMan
    AjaxMan

    Don't just get a court/restraining order. Everytime you see them parked near your house, dial 911 and get the cops to arrest their sorry asses.

  • roybatty
    roybatty
    My husband told them basically that he does not feel that the organization is Gods

    They got ya! This was always one of the first tactics elders are taught. If the person is basically no longer going to the meetings and it looks like they'll never be coming back, get them to DA themselves. Easiest way is to have two elders make a three-way call to the person that they've targetdd for termination and ask them this classic question. When answered in front of two witnesses, it's enough to zap ya.

  • MoeJoJoJo
    MoeJoJoJo

    Wow! Thanks for all the advice.

    I tried telling my husband to watch what he says to the elders but...

    It was difficult for him because they kept coming around and asking why we weren't at meetings and he got sick of it and told them why.

    I'll show him everyone's comments - he does not frequent this board himself. I always fill him in on what's posted.

    When answered in front of two witnesses, it's enough to zap ya.

    :I think they got him too roy, three different elders have heard him make that statement. The one elder has always been among the two that stop by, but each time he has brought a different elder with him.

    It is family that is keeping us from DA, its hard to think that we may never talk to some family members for the rest of our lives.

  • MoeJoJoJo
    MoeJoJoJo

    blindfool: I really feel for your situation, I started having doubts before my husband and it took him awhile to see the org for what it is, but thankfully he eventually did. Hang in there!

    Dismembered: He has told them to call first and that he would rather meet with them at the hall/ told them about two weeks ago that he would be in touch with them when his schedule was not so busy but that didn't work. I knew it was them when there was a knock on the door Saturday morning!!!!

    I suggested not answering the door but.....he did.

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