by jurs 24 Replies latest jw friends
I have never been divorced. I would say this though, I am sure that the pain would be directly related too ...
1. How many years you were in
2. How much it was part of your life (How deep the connections)
3. How you felt about it when you left
... I think all apply to both leaving the religion and getting a divorce.
My thought
Dragon
Ohhhhhhhhh, divorce was much worse. More money, more pain, more anger, more isolation, more worry. Of course, I was 29 with 3 little kids............
When leaving the WT, my kids had all left it before me. I also have a good husband who left WT at same time. We could complain about WT together. It helped.
waiting
im one that did both at the same time, i wanted to do the fade out but wasnt allowed to, elders asked the x what our problems were and she said that i drank too much soon after i was booted, elders on me commitee were ones i had problems with cuz i had too many questions and not enough respect for them,, the sad thing is i didnt want to get divorced, just wanted to get out of the borg, the marital problems were minor and could have been worked on, now 3 years later, the x is doing the fad out. so in a way i balme the divorce on the borg. but al least now we have burried the hacthet and are oble to talk as friends once in a while but h aving both happen at the same time put me through hell, wich i dont think i have recovered from yet it was very hard to deal with
Divorce was way much harder for me. I guess relationships are more important to me than making all those meetings and doing my best to get ten hours of field service under my belt per month. I didn't have any family in the religion, so they were happy for me when I got out, it was sort of like a reunion. I'm more at ease being myself now.
But, ahhhh, the divorces. The first one came after seven crappy years of marriage and leaving off being a jw would have been more traumatic at the time. I was stupid so I married his best friend, twice. We divorced twice. I really loved the second guy, though our marriage was pretty crappy, too. Both divorces with my second husband were like being punched in the stomach. We stayed friends until he married a poor, unsuspecting jw pioneer. Then, I was cut off. That hurt a whole bunch, too.
My marriage and the borg went together like peas and carrots....one could not exist without the other...in other words, I was only still with my ex because of the troof. I threw the towel in 4 years ago with no regrets.
~Beck~
What's most traumatic? Thoughts of having been in the borg, and being married to my ex!
I was divorced young. It seemed unbearable for a time. But that's normal. I knew my wife had boyfriends yet I wanted her and was sick when I realized it was over. But of course it didn't take very long to get over the split. Life got very good for me right afterwards.
Leaving the Borg was a fade job. It wasn't traumatic at all. But there are still lots of emotions you go though. I think those who are DFed and lose everyone really suffer, even more than those divorced. I lost everyone slowly so it wasn't noticeable.
Divorce.
Leaving the org, voluntarily or otherwise, has a guaranteed option for renewal...divorce is almost always guaranteed to be final.
FINAL can be a very very hard word.
Craig
"My marriage and the borg went together like peas and carrots....one could not exist without the other..."
Yes.
For me, divorce was much more traumatic.
rem
