Xandria
I'm very sorry for your loss. My mother died of colon cancer in 1989. I was left out of the funeral talk at the KH and barred from the gravesite. At the time it was very painful, but in retrospect I'm glad I stayed away. It hurt less than if I had gone and been around that vitrolic atmosphere. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
I don't mean to intrude, but I wanted to share that with you. Take care.