Almost exactly the same thing happened to someone we know. My husband told her to ask the elders "WHO saw me smoking? I want their names." She has a right to that information, and can ask for them to testify in her presence. They can't tell her it's confidential, because it isn't. They are counting on her not knowing she can demand that information.
After that move, the whole thing was dropped because the people didn't want to be identified. It's worth a shot.
1) Don't go. Let them do what they want. Don't give them power over your life. Have a "pat answer" ready in case anyone confronts you. Something like *I have no desire to speak with you about my spirituality*. or somethin like dat. (Don't go is my favorite option, but everyone's situation is different)
2) Go Deny. (What Mulan said). Repeat after me: "It wasn't me. I can't believe anyone would think that of me! They are mistaken. They are mistaken. And They are mistaken." Keep in mind that if you havn't been at the meetings in a long while, the elders will be unlikely to view you as having "works befitting repentance" no matter how hard you cry. So to outright deny it would be best. Also keep in mind that if only one person saw you, you do not want to inadvertently become the second witness against yourself. Tell them "it wasn't me". Just act stunned and shocked. Be prepared for other questions about your "spirituality" and about why you haven't been attending meetings, etc, and whether you want someone to study with you, etc. Be careful with the Deny option, because it is easy for them to *entrap* you three on one.
3) Go *Confess*. Claim that you haven't done it again in a very long time. Be *repentant*. If you focus your sad comments on not wanting to hurt Jehovah and not wanting to be a bad witness against Jehovah, along with crying if possible, they will see this as repentant. They will also want to see you at meetings and such, willing to study, etc, in order to believe there are "works" befitting repentance. This is a risky option even so, because it is dependant on the judgement of three men and how they each see you. It could turn out any way.
Your friend might want to give consideration to whether or not they view themselves as a witness and whether they want to give any *authority* to these men by attending such a meeting of judgement.
Dia....it's called survival. My goodness such judgemental namecallers here.
Where might one have honed such skills?....Let me guess....
Care to add any USEFUL advice? Or did you just stop in to give us a preview of what it's gonna be like to sit in front of those who take it upon themselves to namecall and judge? Do you have any better suggestions? If you're so fucking superior, then why don't you show us how it should be done rather than pointing fingers and namecalling?
Go to the JC, play mind games with them, let them get on that carousel-like ride of circular reasoning they call logic.
Oh, and make sure you tape it all (a tiny micro-cassette recorder, plus a plug in mike hidden on your body (call me for details/suggestions).
Then, after you've (the cat) have tired of playing with them (the mice) tell them to F**K off and spark one up right there in the KH -- preferably a CUBAN cigar, to really celebrate the begining of your freedom, indepence, life.
