Big Tex I remember that case. I held my breath on that one as well. If I reproduce I don't want my parents or anyone else's trying to pry into my business with my kids unless I'm abusive. PERIOD. Children have the right to love whom they choose. Grandparents don't have any rights whatsoever. It's up tot he kids and the parents to decide.
Ewanchuk v. Ewanchuk: JW grandparents' rights case
by expatbrit 29 Replies latest jw friends
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Pathofthorns
What confuses me is that we seem to be a crowd that wants to have our cake and eat it too. How can we possibly support what is contained in this thread and what is contained in the thread here:
[url] http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.aspx?id=38750&site=3[/url]If we want the right to protect our children from being influenced by JW grandparents and we want to set the terms for any visits, then we can't be suing JW parents for essentially doing the same thing.
IMO these matters just do not belong in courts. You cannot legislate relationships with people. Until jw's and exjw's can find some degree of tolerance for each other and their different beliefs and until they realize that children can and should have relationships with their parents and grandparents without religion being such a devisive factor, children will continue to be the losers.
Path
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Scully
Path:
That's an excellent point.
Raising children is always a challenging undertaking, throwing religious differences into the mix only makes it more difficult for everyone, the children especially.
As a mother, I am making a conscious decision to monitor the association my children have with my JW parents. While I am monitoring the association, my parents do not cross the line and "witness" to them in any way shape or form. The only thing my dad 'gets away with' is the mealtime prayer. Whenever I haven't been there, I find out that my kids get read to from the Bible Stories book, and get subtle messages about the "wrong"ness of our lifestyle. Why is it OK for JWs to ignore my express requests to not proseltyse to my children, yet it's not OK for me to monitor the interaction when I know that to not do so results in defiance of my wishes?
It was never OK for MY non JW grandparents to send me birthday cards or Christmas presents. I had to send them all back. My grandparents passed away thinking that we hated them because we wouldn't let them give us gifts on the occasions they felt were special.
The problem, as I see it at least, is that JWs need to be "right" all the time, regardless of the cost. They feel it is "right" to preach to my children behind my back because they have The Truth(tm). They feel it is "right" to refuse their own children a relationship with their non-JW grandparents because they have The Truth(tm) and the grandparents don't. They feel it is "right" to ignore my wishes because of the 'superior demands of divine law' - translation: "Sorry Scully but your wishes don't mean anything because you're going to die for being an apostate."
If JWs thought of themselves as "regular people" instead of having a superior attitude about their beliefs vis-a-vis everyone else's and needing to preach to as many people as possible so they can save their own skins, then many of these problems will evaporate.
Love, Scully
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bluesapphire
(((Scully)))
Plain and simple though: If my mother in law so much as says a prayer with my son she will be given ONE warning that will go like this, "This is your one and only warning. If you want to continue ANY association whatsoever with your grandson you will abide by our rules. You will not talk about Jehovah or Jesus or the Bible to our son or in front of our son. You will not pray with our son. You will not read anything to our son without checking with us first. You will not take our son to any meetings or service or gathering where other JWs will be. You will not tell our son that his parents are evil or bad or that we are not pleasing Jehovah. If you EVER break any of these rules or the spirit of these rules, you will NEVER see your grandson again." PERIOD. NO IFS ANDS OR BUTS ABOUT IT.
Think of all the grandparents who are ex witnesses who have never met their own grandchildren. I will throw this in my mother in law's face. She WILL respect our wishes OR ELSE.
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Scully
Thanks for the hugs Blue....
I guess I should clarify: my children only see their JW grandparents when I take the initiative to take them to their grandparents' house. The total amount of time that my parents have spent in OUR home in the past five years is TWO HOURS. That is the direct result of our request that they keep their religion out of our house. How do you tell your father that he's not allowed to say a mealtime prayer, which has been his custom for over 30 years, in his own house, because you don't believe in his god (or any other god, for that matter)??
It's one thing to expect them to abide by my wishes in my home, but I just can't see myself imposing my will on something like a prayer at mealtime in my parents' own home. Besides, if I make an issue of it, I'll be the one coming out of it looking like an intolerant asshole.
Knowing which battles are worth choosing is half the battle.
Love, Scully
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tracye78
Hello All,
Im the Respondant, Tracy Ewanchuk, in this case. I thank you all for the kid words and I too am so thankful that the grandparents were put in their place by the judicial system.
As the mother of Asia and Alecsa Ewanchuk and subsequent parent with SOLE custody, I feel and know that it is MY right to decide what religion, if any, my children will be educated in. I have felt, for my children, that it will be left entirely up to them. They may choose when they become adults.
I have always grown up with a image in my mind as to what a good, god fearing person is. They are kind, understanding and do good by helping others. i have since had a very rude awakening by these grandparents and now see the Jehovas Witnesses for what they are.
My advice to anyone else out there..........RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN AWAY FROM ANY OF THEM.
Live happy, live well................
Tracy Ewanchuk
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hawkaw
Nice to meet you and thank you for taking your stand.
hawk
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Sunspot
Hello and welcome Tracy! It's so nice to have you here!
My advice to anyone else out there..........RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN AWAY FROM ANY OF THEM.
That's the BEST advice anyone can give!
Gotta say a BIG HELLO to Hawk!
We sure miss you around here
hugs,
Annie
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AlanF
You're quite right about the JWs, Tracy -- they're a nasty, destructive cult and need to be taken down many notches by the judicial system.
I'm so glad you had the guts to do what you did, and that you came out on top. I'm most happy for your kids, who won't be exposed to the stupidities and guilt-inducing doctrines of this cult.
My daughter quit the JWs at age 14 and came to live with me. She's far happier, and has a mind of her own rather than one prostituted to a destructive cult.
AlanF
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tracye78
Thank you so very much!