Yes, well, here's a John Howard joke. I don't get it, myself.
Expatbrit
The Australian Prime Minister, John Howard was in England meeting the Queen at Balmoral. They were discussing Australia and Howard's plans for the future.
Howard asked the queen if it was possible to turn Australia into a Kingdom to increase its force in the world market. The Queen replied, "One needs a King for a Kingdom and you are most certainly not a King."
He then asks if it is possible to turn Australia into an Empire. The Queen replies, "For an Empire one needs an Emperor you are most certainly not an Emperor."
Howard thinks for a moment and then asks if it is possible to turn Australia into a principality. The Queen replies, "For a principality one needs a Prince and you Mr. Howard are certainly not a prince."
The Queen adds further, "Without meaning to be rude Mr. Howard I think Australia should remain as a country."
I bristled when I first saw your posting, which seems 'normal' for a lot of Americans lately. So I let it alone for a day and on a second look I can see that of course you're just kidding. You'll have to excuse us 'mericans' for the next little while as our skin has become a little thin and sensitive. Since 9/11, between the upcoming war with Iraq (which effects a lot of families) and some a$$hole sniper loose in Maryland, it's very difficult to remember what 'normal' is like. I think a lot of us consider the U.K.ers, Aussies, and New Zealanders as 'family', kind of distant cousins ... so maybe we get a little more sensitive than we should when we preceive our closest friends are now becoming a little hostile, even when it's a joke.
By the way, there's a TV show called "The Amazing Race" where various couples go around the world competing. Last season two of there shows were in New Zealand.... Man, you live in one BEAUTIFUL country.... N.Z. has gone up my list to one of the places I must see before I kick off this mortal coil.
Ahem! *clearing throat* Kiwis like Marmite, and Aussies like Vegemite. Now before Stephanus comes along and says otherwise, go look it up! Which came first, vegemite or marmite?? In most cases it is the Aussies copying the kiwis *ducks*
The PK joke was more of a kiwi joke then Aussie, and the racial fraction in it isn't actually there...we walk together in harmony most of the time *cough* PK is also another slang term used by Maori people when referring to white people...it stands for Pakeha, which means white ghost. So the whole joke was a bit over most people's heads unless you have lived amongst white, brown, and in between kiwis.
The aussie slang was slapped up by Andrew himself...he's hopeless, what can I say!! The lyrical slang is beautiful to listen to...except its only the older generation who speak it fluently nowadays - FYI Stephanus LOL.
In researching my family's heritage, I recently stumbled upon a hitherto unknown French branch.
Le Compte De Comme La Montagne (more familiarly known as Expatgrenouille) was a pre-revolutionary aristocrat in the now defunct French province of L'endroit De Mauvais Souffle. Likely a member of La Societe tres Secrete de Grands Fromages, he was reputed to be a master of the arcane ceremony of le thrash de poulet. He perished, so it is said, while exploring the black art of voir comment que les sens de turquie quand bourre.
I continue to research this shadowy figure from my family's past, through the faded pages of loric tomes, and despite the risk from the black curse of la mort de jarretelles humides.
It is worth all effort, for I have found the truth of the old French proverb: "Francais sont un langage merveilleux dans lequel dire choses tres des betes"
