jriz, that is a deep deep thought!
mamashel
He said THOSE WORDS........
by mamashel 14 Replies latest jw friends
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reubenfine
You might ask him if ANYTHING ever went wrong when you were "active."
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LyinEyes
I can totally relate to how you husband feels, Shel, I have been up and down that road for a year now. It is all so confusing, you have your head telling you logical things, and your heart is pulling you in another direction.
He is havig a conflict going on inside himself, that he has no answers for right now. Only time and alot of patience withyourself will even enable you to do more research.
One thing that helped me and still does, when things are scarey, from kids getting hurt or sick, I always try to tell myself that God will read my heart and there is a scripture that say , that God does not despise a broken heart. All who are leaving, have left , will leave, will have a broken heart over it. There is no way around that. I just keep telling myself that the WT Jehovah is not the real way God or Jesus really is. Knowing that I feel it is ok, not to rush myself in doing things I am not yet comfortable with yet. I felt very uncomfortable the first birthday party we celebrated, I dont now .
The WT uses the mind and action control technique of saying , if we even drift from Jehovah , something bad will happen to us , or our family and it will be our fault .
Since I have left , I feel more good things have happened for us, but there have been times, when I wasnt sure and freaked over it. But it always passed, my emotions would get the better of me, until I was exhausted from thinking, crying, praying, and just said,,,,,,,, to heck with it all. I will just be a good person and see what happens. My logic told me ,, to stop being so hard on myself, or I was going to drive myself nuts.
Something that helped me alot was learning about the stages of recovery of exiting a cult. FIrst you have to admit you were in a cult, there are a list of signs to help you see somewhere on one of these forums. Then you read how you will feel as time goes on and you can expect it. So far, the patterns are happening like others have gone thru too.
I wish you both peace and hope your son is ok. Times of crisis can make anyone question everything about their lives. Let us know how you hubby is doing on these issues.
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bluesapphire
I say give him time. My husband acted the same way when we first left. It's been almost four years now and we celebrate every birthday and every holiday. The only one he doesn't like at all is Halloween. But he likes to see the kids get candy and doesn't mind it when they share ;)
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ugg
you can be as miserable as hell AND be active in the organization....(been there,,done that)
no real words of wisdom,,,,thinking of you and sending hugs!!!!!!!!!!!