That what i feel like right now. For those of you who read my posts, Please dont thing that i am a cronic complainer or whiner. I really am not. The last year has just been so hard for me, that i really feel like i am loosing it.
My 17 yr old daughter as alot of you know, is pregnant with her 2nd child and she moved out due to us arguing all the time because she did not want to abide by the rules. Well the girl she was living with got into it with my daughters boyfriend, the father of her baby, and he just paid their half of the rent. She ends up putting him out at midnight by a police escort. Now, i am not real real fond of him, but he didnt do anything for her to have put him out like that. She just likes drama. So this all escallated into the girl and her boyfriend coming over our house to tell us what was going on, and she and I getting into it. She is only 21 and i am almost 40, and she got in my face and was shaking her neck and pointing in my face. Well, not at my house are you going to come over and act like a fool. Anyway, this ended up being an all day argument with them calling and coming over, and me taking my daughter and her boyfriend to get their stuff. "D" is the girls name that my daughter was staying with, started telling her boyfriend all these lies, like he tore up the appartment and broke a bunch of stuff, which was a lie, because i was there the whole time. Now my daughter has no where to go, her boyfriend went back home to his moms house, and she stayed here last night. I dont know what to do, because my daughter had to move out because she refuses to live by our rules.
Then my mother in law calls last night, (acive jw who just lost custody of her daughter that we now have custody of) and her car broke down. Hubby goes to fix it, and when he comes home, he has a watchtower in his hand when he walks through the door. I almost threw up. I had this sick, empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. And the wt was about how do you view trials and tribulations. I just looked at him and started to cry. I cant stand to see the fear and guilt on his face that he feels everything is like it is because of leaving the "Truth". He said he doesnt want to go to meetings or field service, but still believes its the truth. We have been gone for almost a year now. I dont know what i will do if he starts thinking that he wants to go back. He said last night he would read some pages of COC, but he doubted if it would change his mind. Could someone please talk to me. I really dont know how much more i can take right now. I cant stop crying and i actually feel numb, and like someone has just sucked the life out of me. I have searched for the truth about God, and feel like i have gotten nowhere. Sometimes i even question is there really a God. I wish i had never stepped foot into a kh. Now i am just sad and confused. I dont believe anything about the jw org, but what and where is the truth?
mamashel
Edited by - mamashel on 23 October 2002 9:34:46