Life in a not so different world

by Brummie 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    This is why I work with Autistic adults, perhaps we can relate to a lot in their world?:

    You Want to Take Away My Window
    I am autistic. I've always been autistic, and I always will be autistic. Autism is part of who I am, just as my sense of humor or my emotions are part of me. I like who I am, even my autistic part.

    You see, autism isn't an awful condition. I'm not condemned to an "un-natural life." Yet, I have lived a life with pain, fear, and confusion. Pain because of your cold heart. Fear because of my past, and because of my future in a your world, which can't tolerate uniqueness. Confusion because of my ways of interpreting your world and because of the deceit, lies, and apathy in it.

    But, I don't just feel pain. I know great joy and peace. I wish I had words for what it is like inside these walls, where the noise of the outside world can't destroy my peace. You can't understand the joy I have in my quiet place, alone and far from the voices that would destroy, nor can I understand your world of noise and crowds. You probably can't understand that I enjoy watching, not participating, in your world, nor can you understand why I laugh in response to an inner joy. But, that's all-right with me.

    I'm an observer, trying to understand your world. You may not know this, since you don't even think I see you most of the time. But, I do see you. I might not be "looking" at you, but I'm watching you through the window of my house - through the corner of these eyes. I don't want you to know, though. So, I peer through the blinds as you walk by.

    As I watch you, I get confused. I've seen you say you hate someone. But, later, when that person approaches you, you tell him that you love him. Did I see something wrong? Did you change your mind? People tell me that I'm defective and broken for not doing the things you do, but I don't understand how you can say things that you don't believe deep inside. Have you forgotten where you store your thoughts? What drives you, since you don't follow your inner beliefs? What gives you your purpose?

    As I watch you, I wonder what life must be like for you. How can you tolerate a world without right or wrong, but only shades of gray? How do you know when your actions are wrong, if all actions are at least a little bit wrong and a little bit right? Is it painful for you to live in a world full of subtlety and without boundaries? My walls give me peace and comfort, as I know where my world ends and yours begins. But, you don't have any walls around you. What keeps you grounded? I've been told that my thinking, because of my clear boundaries and rules, is both limited and deficient. Yet, these boundaries and rules are my walls. They hold my soul together. What keeps your soul in one piece?

    I don't see your skin color, beauty, or age. I always thought that everyone deserved to be treated kindly, justly, and lovingly. Yet, when I gaze outside my walls, through my window, I see your world which condemns some to a life of pain because of their race, appearance, or age. You told me as a child that I shouldn't get near to anyone who was different than me - that I should stay with my people, and they should stay with theirs. Didn't you realize that I am different from you, too? Can't you see the inner beauty in someone that's different on the outside?

    Your world tells me that I'm wrong to enjoy my times alone, inside this house, with only my thoughts to speak to me. You tell me that I should surround myself with strange voices, to spare me of the "pain" that comes with thinking and quiet contemplation - that I should listen to some sort of noise to block out these pesky thoughts - perhaps the radio, TV, or maybe other voices - that I should tear down the walls of my house and let these thoughts and my thoughts mix. But, I ask, wouldn't it destroy my value if I became one with these other voices?

    When I gaze out my window, I wonder why you want to take away my joy. You claim that you want me to come out and play with you, to leave the "confines" of my house and enjoy your world. But, you want to destroy my house when I'm not looking. You want to take away my window. You see my quietness as a disease that needs to be cured; my joyful activities a pain to be eliminated; my innocent eyes a blindness to be treated.
    Of course, you can't know why my house is important. Don't you know that I'd show you what my house is like, if only you would knock on the door?

    Brummie (perhaps I am autistic at heart)

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Wow, that's beautiful. Thanks for posting it.

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Brummie - coming from a mom of a 6 y.o. w/autism- this is beautiful.

    The beauty of my Nicholas' autism is the way he can shield himself from all the worlds hurts & pains. He is the "purest" person I've ever known, there isn't a shred of inhonesty or devious intentions about him. His strength & determination to understand the world around him, while trying to help us understand him, never ceases to amaze me. He has taught me so much in the last 6 years. Through him I have learned so much about the world of special needs children. It has truly been a lession in humility & acceptance of others who we don't necessarily understand or who seem "different".

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    Petty, what a special little guy you have there, the way you describe him is a wonderful reflection of the special mother he has and needs.

    Hope you are getting a lot of support from friends and schools

    I work with the NAS and teach adults with autism to be prepared for life in the world, but the role is reversed, I have learned a lot more from these angels than they will ever learn from me

    It has truly been a lession in humility & acceptance of others who we don't necessarily understand or who seem "different".

    Amen to that!

    Brummie

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    Brummie,

    I envy your working with autistic adults. They are indeed unique individuals to be around. They couldn't tell a lie if their life depended on it - deceiving someone else is beyond their comprehension. I have an autistic older brother. They didn't know much about it when he was a kid, and hence he didn't receive the education and treatments that are helping autistic children now. Not that I want autistics to be cured. The world needs them! But my brother has had a painful life, and I think he would be better adjusted to his condition if we knew then what we know now. I carry a lot of guilt for the way I teased him when we were young. I used to drive him bananas, just doing stupid stuff to irritate him (and was he irritable!)

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Dantheman - there are alot of services available for adults w/autism as well - ABA therapy works for all ages (although more benefits are derived at earlier ages of course). Do you have "custody" of your brother, or does he live in a "group home" type situation, or at home w/your folks? I'm always curious of others adult experiences, as one day my little guy will be one. Same for you Brummie - where do you work with these individuals? I find my state (Michigan) doesn't have alot of services for adults - & since some day I know I'll be campaigning in that area, I'm always wondering about some of the "good choices" available for our little ones when they've gotten passed the schools "age" limit for assistance.

    Brummie - actually my "charity" work is working alot with the schools, and other parents of children w/special needs. Most schools are completely inept at dealing w/autims (constantly trying to force our "circle" children into their "square" programs/schools). I'm on PAC (Parent Advisory Committee) so I work with parents who need help dealing with the laws or with their own situations (i.e. IEP meetings - always a toughie). And thanks for the compliment - sometimes it can be so stressful that its nice to hear!! I don't think I'm all that special - in fact in some ways "raising" Nick is easier than my other son (15 - & teenagers aint that different lol). I'm just a mom that adores my kids w/all my heart - the rest falls easily into place.

  • shera
    shera

    Thanks for that,that touched my heart.

    I have a 7 yr old boy with autism.He has changed me a great deal,for the better.I am very tolerant to people who are different in many ways.

    My son is so funnie at times,but it is very hard to teach.His school has been trying to do alot for him.He is improving all the time,but his speach is very limited.He does say words but it comes out robot like.Everyone sees a smart boy and he knows what is going on.We can see the wheels turning in his mind.

    Even tho we have hard times with him.He can be very aggressive at times and scream for hours.I'm just glad the neigbours I have are good and understanding.He sounds like he is being thrown around,he whacks his head on the walls and screams.I feel horrible,most of the time I cannot consoul him.I Love him so much.He is a joy to my life and at times a fusturating part to my life.

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Shera - have you tried gluten/caisen free diet yet? I know with our nick, it helped ALOT with his stimming issues, and the aggresive tendancies. It didn't curb it 100%, because of the sensory issues, but it helped alot of the symptoms (at least 70% improvement in our case). Nick was even a poop smearer until a year ago. But through ABA, we learned alot of teaching skills to work through some of his more disgusting tendancies, and were finally able to get him 80% potty trained by 6 (I thought we'd never get there).

    Sorry, its the PAC in me, how are your schools at offering services? Do you have a good experience with your IEP's? Sorry, its the little advocate in me.....I don't mean to be nosy!

  • shera
    shera

    Thats fine,I don't mind the questions at all.

    Matthew was a poop smearer as well,for 2 years.He is basically fully toilet trained, but he still has accidents.I have went threw many matresses!

    His school,is much better this year.They opened up a learning centre for him and he has an IPP.His aide loves him to pieces.

    I had him on the diet and it did help him,but it was hard to keep him on the diet for money reasons,but I have been thinking about getting him back on it.I am recieving a disabiliyt cheack for him and I think thats one thing it will go towards...his diet.

  • shera
    shera

    I'm from nova scotia ,canada and there is not much services here for austic people at all.You need to be neck deep in the money here to help you children.

    I would need 1000's of dollars a month to help my boy and insuance doesn't do much at all.

    I get so ticked off at times,my son is capaible of much!

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