by dazedgrl 20 Replies latest jw friends
I've been doing a lot of thinking about christmas with it coming up so quickly. Its a little overwhelming rethinking your whole belief system. At least it is for me anyway! How many of you celebrate? And how long did it take you to make that decision after leaving?
Thanks, Dazedgrl
I did it the first chance I got 1985 man, my girlfriend invited me over to hers for the dinner and man it was unbelievable. Then we went out for drinks at her friends parents house and even though the people had just met me for the first time there affection and bursting love was genuine, not like the Jahoubies who fake it!
Beans
Canadian Overbeer
Not calling myself a christian and doubting the jesus story christmas was never a big issue to me. I never really liked to wait till a holiday to give a gift or share my love with someone. I do like the lights and colors but hate the crowds and hate to feel compelled to buy gifts. I much rather enjoy spontanious gifts when they are unexpected and hugs of those I care about each time I see them. In fact I have been out of the org for a very long time and have yet to go to a christmas party- bah humbug- I rather prefer halloween- that is when I can go out in the natural- no mask needed here HA HA!
I left the org last May and celebrated that Christmas . It was nice. My kids were so excited. We went to Montana and rented a hall so we could have all our family and friends be together. This year I want to stay home (in Colorado) . I love Christmas.
jurs
Kelsey, just because a person celebrates Christmas, doesn't eliminate spontaneous gift giving.
We felt similarly to Kelsey, (bah humbug) but broke down last year. Christmas parties and Christmas dinners the past few years, eventually got to us. We got a small tree, and tiny, tiny ornaments. We decided to only buy gifts for our grandchildren (7 of them so far). When the family gets as large as ours, you just can't buy for everyone. One of my daughters in law, has a deal with her family............they put all the names in a basket and you draw one out. You ONLY buy a gift for that person. Sure has simplified Christmas for them.
No guilt either, about celebrating. It is just very fun.
I loved the baking the best. Creative Christmas cookies. And the kids love to help make gingerbread boys and girls. It's a new tradition we started.
Edited by - mulan on 24 October 2002 22:21:15
Hi dazedgrl,
I know what you mean about it being overwhelming. I remember that very well. My advice to you is to try to slow down because you don't have to celebrate it. You can if you want to. Never feel pressured by anyone else to decide. This is your decision and it needs to feel right, imo. The first Christmas that I celebrated was quiet and we lit a fire in the fireplace, I cooked a favorite meal (raviolli and meatballs..lol) We did some baking with the kids which they loved. We were still afraid of tree's then so we didn't make any cookies in the shape of trees..lol. My husband read the account of the birth of Jesus in Luke. That is particularly beautiful and something that made me want to rejoice. We sang a few songs and the kids looked so happy that it brought tears to my eyes. My husband and I decided to give each child only 1 special gift each and they were truly appreciative. It was a wonderful first Christmas. This year will be our 5th time and it gets better and better each time. It's about what is in your heart and if it glows with love and thankfulness for Jesus then you may want to rejoice that day. I do. Most importantly, remember that if you feel toooo guilty about acting like a pagan......just check your heart. I prayed about celebrating Christmas and I felt I was answered in a small still loving voice. I'll never forget it. I always remember though that I don't have to conform to everyone else's idea of Christmas but I can make it stress free and enjoyable by doing what we want to do. We keep it simple so that we can focus on what the holiday is really about to us.
You have plenty of time to make a decision about this. There is no law that requires that you decide now and run to the stores and max out the credit card on gifts and lights and ........... Take your time and just start out small, doing only what you feel comfortable with at first. In time, you will be sure of how you truly feel and that is the time to celebrate without the guilt or fear. Love cast out fear. We were taught for so long how awful this holiday is that sometimes in the beginning you may experience some anxiety or guit and that ruins it. Remember what the bilble teaches about not judging because of holidays. It says that you should be fully convinced in your own mind! That is key. For whatever is not from faith is sin. Sorry that I rambled so long. I just felt compassion for you because I had a hard time at first with everything new. I really needed a friend to talk to who knew what I meant but didn't have one. The best thing that I found was to direct my questions and my confusion and fears right up to heaven and ask. There was no man on earth that I felt I could trust anymore with spiritual teachings....so I asked the boss! Never regretted it for a second. Love, Dj
This Christmas will be my very first ever (after 50 years). And I already know that I'm going to get the very bestest gift I could ever ask for...
Katie (bikerchic) are getting married on Christmas Day!
Craig
AH, Christmas. My favorite holiday with all the bright lights,etc.
The best Christmas I had was with my now husband who spared no expense in getting me anything and everything I wanted. So I got the most beautiful tree and had decorations everywhere. Yeah, we did a lot of the homemade stuff, too. I consider that my "first" Christmas because there was absolutely no guilt, no lingering thoughts of my JW family...just surrounded by loved one's...and of course doing our community service work that makes your heart grow ten times bigger to see the poorer community kids eye's light up. Ah.....I'm a sucker for kids, that's for sure.
Our first year together, we celebrated every holiday (pagan days, too) by entertaining friends in our home. At the end of the year we were pretty tired...but had loads of fun. Since then we've toned it down because I'm getting old.
Like other's have stated; gift giving is a year long thing...but Christmas! I told everyone last year that I did not want to hear anything negative about how much money they spend...if you can't afford to buy gifts, do something else. Geezzzzz. People complain about something that is suppose to bring joy and happiness. Go figure, eh.
This year I'm hoping my son (only child) will come up here with his family. We've spent the last 3 years going down to the BIG city. One gift to my son and his wife will be two nights stay at a motel with grandma/grandpa watching the kids. If I were a young parent some time away 'at night' would sure be nice.
Love ya'll
granny; who is known to get long winded.
onacruise: Congradulations!!!!!!! I think that's great getting married on Christmas Day.
g.l.
Well they kicked me out in 87.....I never did anything about Christmas - until my Daughter Melanie
( who passed away three yrs ago) insisted I go to her house for Christmas dinner- I had given her money to buy her kids presents...I went! but I still felt guilty.....She had her husband make a nativity scene with the baby Jesus etc:To put in my apartment.... I still felt guilty at that also ( after all I felt Jesus was a KING by now)
No Baby!! So I spend Christmas alone now- Invited to so many places -But I do like to think & pray for all those I made Jehovahs Witnesses ( 10 of them) I know that as Romans 14:5 says it is up to us to do as we please about the time.Because I have so many visitors( exJWS) everyday I must say it is great to know they are all busy on that day & I can "do my own thing" Yes I buy gifts for 5 grandchildren 9 great grandchildren,& MY daughter ( who is free also) & her hubby. So I am no scrooge! But it is so hard after 25 years of NOT celebrating & making my deceased husband life hell about it. He loved the season I would not participate.( for which i truly regret now).I would do as "MOTHER" told me -cook the turkey but that was it........
I remember when I first was a witness -I told him no more would I put up a tree-( I had always celebrated) so he got a huge tree- decorated it. & was about to put the Star on the top- he stood on the arm of my sofa- & it tipped landing him in the tree & all the decorations broken...... I laughed!!!
God forgive me.......He died beforre I found out I was in a cult.....That isnt easy to live with folks -
So enjoy the season........Know that if we can bring happiness to others.it isnt wrong...Sorry for moaning!!!!!!!
