One morning three JW "sisters" went out in "mid-week field service" together.
The oldest of the three sisters was a spinster in here late 60s who bore a remarkable resemblance both in her dress and attitude to comedian Dana Carveys "Church Lady" impersonation. As a "pioneer" who was already in the "Truth" at a time when most of todays elders were either not yet born, or still in diapers, she was respected in her congregation in a grudging sort of way. Her answers at the "Watchtower Study" were considered very "deep" as they usually included additional information from 1940s and 50s era "literature." Just the preceding week for example, she had claimed that Goliath had had "six fingers and toes on each foot which symbolized the world powers" and provided a publication reference to "prove" it. The elders would sometimes visibly wince when she was called on because scholars and experts on JW doctrine that they no doubt were, they usually had little idea as to whether the information she presented would still be considered "current" or was actually "old Truth".
The youngest of the three sisters was a pioneer in here early 20s. She dressed stylishly, was very attractive and had a bubbly personality, but was considered by other Witnesses to be something of a void. Having only been in the Truth for a few years, she would sometimes say things like "Im not sure exactly what Nebuchadnezzars seven years of madness meant, but I think they had something to do with 1914." This usually led to awkward silences.
Perhaps it was natural that these two pioneers, the older of which never tired of arguing the trinity, hellfire and otherwise fighting "evil religionists", and the younger, who was so cute that she could have sold ice cubes to (male) Eskimos, would be partners. Together they were an effective team.
That morning, these two pioneers had tried everything to avoid being assigned to the same "car-group" as the third sister, an "irregular publisher" who not only was "weak in the Truth", but had her fifteen-month old daughter in tow as well. Weasel and squirm as they might though, the "brother" organizing the mornings "activities" would not allow them to shirk their responsibilities as "examples to the congregation."
They finally ended up going three to a door. (Four if you count the baby) Somewhere near the end of their first street they happened upon a man lying prone, apparently unconscious, with his face in the gutter.
The first to react was the oldest.
"To think that I would live to see the inebriated overcome on a public street on a Sunday morning!" she huffed indignantly as she stomped past him on the opposite side of the sidewalk.
"He might be just pretending!" exclaimed the youngest. "Be careful" she admonished their charge, as she too slipped past him as quickly as possible.
"Wait" said the third as she put the child down and gently lifted the mans face from the gutter. He was semi-conscious. She rolled him over on his back and helped him sit up. He seemed to be struggling to say something, but his words were unintelligible.
"Let him sleep it off!" said the oldest indignantly from about fifteen feet away.
"Be careful. What are you doing!" said the youngest, her voice rising to a squeak as the third was now leaning down with her ear close to his mouth.
"Hes a diabetic, he needs sugar" she said after a moment. "Put those down honey" she said over her shoulder to her daughter, who was now picking up pine cones.
"Sugar!" said the oldest as if it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.
"Sugar?" said the youngest as if she had no idea what that was.
Neither came any closer.
Ignoring the other two, the mother pulled a baby-bottle filled with apple juice from her bag and removed the nipple. While she held the man up with her left hand, she let him sip from the bottle she held in her right.
The oldest rolled her eyes and consulted her "not at home" list. The youngest gasped incredulously at the idea of letting a stranger drink the babys juice right from the rim of the babys bottle.
"Im calling an ambulance", the third woman said as she continued to hold the man up with her left hand while dialing her cell-phone with her thumb. "Why dont you two go on ahead and finish the street while I wait here?"
"Good idea" said the oldest.
"Are you sure?" said the youngest uncertainly.
"Yes" she said as she carefully eased the man back down.
The two pioneers walked away to the next door.
When the ambulance arrived about thirty minutes later, the mans condition had visibly improved. Although he still could not stand up on his own, he was at least lucid.
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I have told this true story here not simply because it bears a certain similarity to Jesus parable of the Good Samaritan, but because of its irony. When the subject came up later of how much field service time the JW mother could count for the morning, what do you think she was told?