Non-brunette joke

by PopeOfEruke 10 Replies latest social humour

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    A blond girl comes back from school one evening.

    She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count.

    Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me:1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 ! That's good, innit?"

    "Yes darling, very good."

    "Is that because I'm blond?"

    "Yes darling, it's because you're blond."

    Next day, the little girl comes back from school and

    says: "Mummy,today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K ! That's good, innit?"

    "Yes darling, very good."

    "Is that because I'm blond, mummy?"

    "Yes darling it's because you're blond."

    Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming, and well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36 D hooters at her mum.

    "Is that because I'm blond, mummy?"

    Her mother replied "No darling, it's because you're 25."

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    A blonde was driving home after a game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her blonde roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first"

    ~Beck~ who is NOT blonde - sort of

  • Pleasuredome
    Pleasuredome

    great joke pope. also love your pic.

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa

    Why does a blonde smile during a lightning storm?

    Because she thinks she's getting her picture taken

  • Xena
    Xena

    Why do men prefer blondes?
    Men always like intellectual company

    Why are blonde jokes so short?
    So men can remember them.

    Why do men like blonde jokes so much?
    Because they can understand them


    What did God say after creating man?
    I can do better.

    What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
    A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

    What's a brunette's mating call?
    "Has the blonde left yet?"

    What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
    No one else wants it.

    What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
    Invisible.

    What's safer: a redhead or a pirahna?
    The pirahna. They only attack in schools

    How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
    Wait 10 seconds

    What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
    Normal

  • jack2
    jack2

    Good stuff here.

  • Mackin
    Mackin

    A Smart Blonde Joke.

    A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.

    The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000
    loan.

    An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

    The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

    The blond replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

    Mackin

  • Xena
    Xena

    I like the way you think Mackin......so another smart blonde joke for ya

    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

    Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

    The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

    This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

    The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

    The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay, " says the lawyer, "your turn".

    She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

    The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

    The blonde says, "Thank you, " and turns back to get some more sleep.

    The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

    Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

  • Xena
    Xena

    Just one more cause I can't help myself...

    Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very
    attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars
    on a single roll of the dice.

    She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much
    luckier when I'm completely nude."

    With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the
    dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"

    Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She
    jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers.

    She then picked up all the money and clothes and
    quickly departed.

    The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.

    Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

    The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were
    watching!"

    Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men


  • outoftheorg
    outoftheorg

    Here is an oldy.

    What goes VROOOM-----SCREACH VROOOOM SCREACH

    A blond at an intersection with a flashing red light.

    Outoftheorg

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