first timer

by fairy 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • fairy
    fairy

    well, i have been checking this board for a few days and love reading the comments. i remember starting going to the meetings when i was 5 and continued till i stopped going to the meetings about 10 yrs ago......total of 25 yrs to the meetings. i remember as a kid not being able to celebrate birthdays or stuff like that and wearing our dresses up to our knees....that was awful. i remember when i was a teenager turning up at the kingdom hall one morning to go out witnessing and i was on my own and the group was just about ready to go out, and the brother who was taking the group said..."now, who wants to go out with linda".......and as i looked around, not one person put their hand up...how degrading that was for me. another thing i regret was not being my friends bridesmaid...she had moved to another state and was marrying someone who wasnt a witness and when she rang up to ask me to be bridesmaid, i said no......i thought i was just so righteous.....it bothered me for literally yrs. and a few yrs ago i actually wrote to her and told her how sorry i was and that friends mean more to me...and how i thought i was so righteous then and she wrote back and she said that she cried when she got that letter from me....we are in contact with each other by mail and thats good.

    i am an overweight person and witnesses can be just as spiteful as the rest of them....they say, as long as you go to the meetings and put jehovah first thats all that matters, but they arent the ones in my position and dont know what its like. and there is also the material side of things...well, if you havent got a good car and money, no matter what they say, you are in the "group" ......there was an older sister who use to say things to me and i never answered her back because it wasnt the right thing to do. well, if she did that to me now, i would have something to say. i gave a talk once and i had to work on dress etc...well, the brother actually counselled me on the shoes i was wearing, how embarrasing, they were nice slip on shoes and they didnt look shabby or anything, i was nicely dressed. each congregation seems to have its own rules regarding disfellowshipping and their reasons for doing so and also the voting thing seems to have changed...now its up to your own conscience...well, well......when i stopped going to the meetings i lived my life in limbo and felt like i was going mad...after going to the meetings for so long, i didnt know how to live so to speak....i have a relative that is disfellowshipped and she is a lovely person and we still snuck around to see her, well, now it doesnt matter because we dont go to the meetings anymore. i have wasted the last 10 yrs of my life not knowing what to do but gradually i am getting more self confident about things...i am not dissassociated or disfellowshipped, just stopped going to the meetings.....went to a relatives place for dinner the other night, and they still go to the meetings but of course they had to bring up witness stuff. and now, i know of things personally that go on between witnesses that they shouldnt be doing. i know someone who goes to the meetings but reads her astrology signs and sometimes reads dream books to interpret her dreams and someone else looks at porno pictures on the net....well, there is more to say, but i will leave that for another day.,.................

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Welcome to the board

    Yes, JWs can be very judgemental, much more so than "worldly" people. Every congregation I have ever been in had its own cliques, often the ones who thought they were more spiritual, or were cooler than the others.

    Life outside the org is difficult at first, especially when you have grown up as a JW as we both did.

    BTW, I live in Sydney, whereabouts are you? There's quite a few Aussies on this board, so make yourself known and you'll make new friends.

  • DakotaRed
    DakotaRed

    Hello and welcome, fairy. Nice to see a new poster from "down under." There are quite a few of your fellow country men here.

    I know what you mean about the witnesses, though. I was the only one who got involved with them in my family. When my daughter was married, I listened to them and wouldn't walk her down the aisle, a decision I will regret the rest of my life. My daughter and I have discussed this at length and it bothers me more than it does her. And, the witnesses would tell me she isn't worthy of life at Armegeddon? She has more compassion, caring and forgiveness in her little finger than the entire congregation I belonged to.

    Glad you and your friend made up and are becoming friends again.

    Lew W

  • fairy
    fairy

    i am in south australia at the moment but moving to Western australia soon.

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Welcome to the board fairy. Nice to see you posting. Where abouts in Australia are you??

    ~Beck~

  • fairy
    fairy

    South australia but moving to west. australia soon.

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Thank you fairy, sorry, I read your post after i'd posted my question.

  • fairy
    fairy

    i come from a very large family...some of them dont go anymore but some do...one of my brothers is an elder....my dad never went....but my mum was the one who initially got interested and it was very hard for her bringing all her kids to the meetings..........the whole dozen of them....she did what she thought was right...one funny thing she use to do in the first few yrs when she was new in the truth, when her brother gave her a xmas cake she use to bury it in the backyard...later realising it was only a cake anyway and from then on we just ate the cake. she did the best she could for us kids and i miss her..she passed away from cancer about 2 yrs ago and my dad passed away about 5 yrs ago,...two of my sisters were with my mum when she died and you know what she said....."i am going to heaven" even now that makes me cry .......

  • Guest 77
    Guest 77

    Hi fairy, I hope you accept my welcome even though I'm not from ozzie land, oh, excuse me, that's Aussieland. Enjoy your stay.

    Guest 77

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    G'day fairy & Welcome

    Thanks for sharing your story

    Brummie

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