by restorebeauty 23 Replies latest jw friends
When a witness is leading a double life, are they really leaning toward not believing in the "truth" and just staying in for family and friends sake or do they really believe it IS the "truth" but just want to have a little fun?
I have a friend who says he is "IN" just because he goes to meetings of sundays, however during the week you would not believe it if he told you he was a WITNESS.
Just curious.
It just depends on the person.
Sadly, I think many, perhaps most, are true believers.
There is also a third option: they are true believers, in that they won't even let themselves give serious consideration to opposing thoughts, but their "gut" tells them that something is wrong, that they can't and shouldn't live like that.
In any case, I feel especially sorry for double lifers, as they seem to be caught in sprititual limbo (and often emotional limbo as well).
After being a JW for 25 years, I spent the last 9 months living a double life as I got my family to listen and rethink ... I did not pop up a Christmas tree in the living room, start smoking and swearing, or running around with a biker gang ... but, I had already decided it was not the Truth ... yet, I played a temporary role until time allowed for gradual changes ... when my family was out, I still had to lay low for another few months to get through the wedding at the Kingdom Hall, where the only real interested JWs were those invited to the wedding and the Elder who gave the talk ... otherwise, it was truly a non-JW wedding ... and a very nice wedding ... gradually, over time, I finally left, got my Christmas tree, imbibed in some cigars, but after ten years, I still just can't seem to find a biker gang that is mean enough for my style.
They want their cake and eat it too.
I believe that the majority of them lead a double life...some very EXTREME double lives, but most live that "kingdom hall" persona just when they are in the JW activities and then they have to let go of it to live the rest of the time. Who can sustain that joy joy happy happy crap 100% of the time?? Youd have to be certifiable to be like that all the time.
The unremitting schedule of unfulfilling ``must do's'' has turned field service and meeting attendance into meaningless rituals for an increasing number of JWs. Combine that with the constant drumbeat to ``do more,'' harping on negativity and the indoctrination to react reflexively by saying ``NO!'' to every imaginable activity or pursuit not sanctioned by the leadership -- which includes just about everything outside the narrow world the JW inhabits-- being different just for the sake of standing apart-- ALL BUT GUARANTEES JW's undertaking a ``Double Life'' as a survival response, if for no other reason!
Suffocation is the only alternative.
Judging by the number of traumatised individuals that wash up at this board who have been affected by developing a relationship with a JW who does not mention this small aspect of their life for months - the proportion of single JW's living a double life must be huge.
Our family has seen many families that lead a double life. Especially the JW teenagers. Trying to please their parents, but having "worldly" friends and wanting to be normal.
One example: One prominent elder is very respected in our area with a very loving family, and very faithful to Jehovah. Well, this elder's perfect children entered a pumpkin carving/painting contest sponsored by a local business. It happens that they did such a good job painting their evil holiday pumpkins that they won 2nd prize! I bet they donated their tainted profits from the halloween pumpkin carving contest to the WorldWide Preaching Work!
Mrs. Shakita
I was ..the "sit on the fence,with one leg on each side" gal.I believed some but was doubting Heather.I just got so sick and living like this,so left.Thankfully,I'm gone!
It was this double life that you describe, that caught my attention, and got me started looking Jehovah's Witnesses. The JW family I know would tell me what a great place it was to raise kids and how the kids and their lifestyle were so "clean" and I felt so puzzled, as their son was getting away with partying and drinking, and her step daughter "had" to get married at 17 , because she was pregnant. I still haven't figured out if this Mom truly doesn't see what is going on, or if she just chooses to ignore it. Does she think I don't see it and wonder at the hypocricy?
