by teenyuck 80 Replies latest jw friends
do you think that the relatively small percentage of women who respond to breast stimulous to the point of orgasm, should just refrain from breastfeeding altogether?
Absolutely not. In fact one of the advantages for some women in breastfeeding is that it just feels good. We're talking about an eight year old boy here and whether or not he is too old to be breastfed and I questioned his mother's motivation in continuing to breastfeed him.
My question is: when is he going to wean himself? If by 8 he doesn't feel the need to, will it be when he graduates from high school?
There are other ways of showing security to this boy than breast feeding. Obviously the nutrient value is long gone.
just my 2 cents.
j2bf
ps, sorry 6 I'm not taking the bait and answering your question. Start your own thread on that subject.
For cripes sake, kids get teased about enough already. What in the world is this mother thinking? Don't you think this child will be subjected to ridicule for something like this?
I understand the "bonding" issue, but come on, at 8?!
I have a 9 year old...he won't even let me in the bathroom anymore when he take a bath for fear I may see him naked! I can't imagine pulling out a tittie and having him latch on.......
OMG......I am gonna be sick! LOL
males should not be allowed to breast feed again until they are at least 31... yum......eheh
Sincerely,
District Overbeer of the "Lactating Tollerant" class
I doubt very seriously anyone in school would ever have KNOWN about the nursing if it had not been made public.....it was done for a few minutes at bedtime.
I don't advocate this but I also do not consider it child abuse nor am I disgusted by it. Different people do things differently, I may not choose to take the same route but I respect their right to make their own decisions for themselves and their children. (this of course excludes physical and sexual abuse)
I don't know at what age a child should be weaned but I am certainly not the norm of the American women population. My baby is 17.5 months old and she is still nursing. Morning, evening and bedtime and then more on my days off. I am sort of looking forward to a cessation of this habit but it is handy when she is cranky and wanting mommy time. It is a very easy way for her to calm down.
I would definitely not allow her to nurse beyond what I see is reasonable. Can I put an age there? No....... before, I would have said when she had teeth. Then she got teeth. I would have said First Birthday, then she turned one. She now gets in my bed and she does "boobie" and "baba" ........ after she realizes she is hungrier than the supply at hand, she switches to baba. But sometimes she hits that bottle right out of my hand and says, "ma boobie" and there is no telling her anything different.
Hello AGAIN, everyone.
Please note that I have not yet expressed my own personal opinion on this subject or this particular case. It's difficult for me to convey exactly what I think because I lack many details found in the court records about what precisely transpired between the Mother, the boy, and the baby-sitter. As always, my primary concern, in fact, ALL of my concern is for the child.
What took me back was the outrage, and inflammatory, comments made on this thread which seem to me not to be based in logic or fact. Reactions such as "sick", "wrong", "child abuse" and "sexual molestation" had me scratching my head. Please know that these sort of responses are a result of being conditioned to think that way. I am even going to go out on the limb and suggest "brainwashing". Oh, I know this label could get me into some hot water with XJWs. Consider it, though, we have been brainwashed into thinking of breasts as PRIMARILY sexual object of pleasure. When, IN FACT, their true practical function is to feed children. Whether or not they are a source of sexual pleasure is purely incidental. Some people are aroused by having their toes sucked, so does that mean we should stop using our feet to walk?
If anyone can provide proof or make a compelling argument with logic, and facts, I am more than willing to change my opinion on this subject in general. So far, none has been offered. The boy being ridiculed has been one concern raised. I made my argument for that in a previous post on this thread. Though some may think it's not a valid comparison; I ask why not? Again, we go back to square one: Breasts being over-sexualized by our culture. In China, they sell puppies on the street for people to buy, cook, and then eat. If one tries to do that in the US, they will find themselves arrested and thrown in jail. I am a bit sickened (i.e., the "ewwww" factor) by someone eating a puppy, myself, but does that make it wrong? Just something to think about.
Now, to me, the primary factor in determining whether or not this particular case is unlawful is found purely in the motivation of the Mother. I have read up a bit on this and I have seen no evidence that Mom is "getting off" on this. It seems she is thoroughly convinced that she is doing the right thing for her child. Is that enough to put her in the right? In this case, it seems so, because there is no credible evidence to the contrary that she is damaging her child by breastfeeding him at the age of eight. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Unusual? Yes. Strange? Yes. Stigmatized? Yes. If there is ever a broad, well done, study on this subject, and the findings conclude that breastfeeding past a certain age is damaging, I will be the first in line to condemn those individuals participating in such activities to the determent of their child.
Dutchie brought up the subject that some women have reported being sexually stimulated when breastfeeding. I have also read about this sort of thing. It is rare, but it does happen. This is my stand on this: If a woman is breastfeeding her child purely for her own sexual gratification, she is serious need of therapy and steps need to be taken to protect the child. But, what about the mother who is breastfeeding her infant out of it's best interests and just happens to find it physically pleasurable? Should she immediately stop? Again, it's the primary motivation that should be considered first.
Now, I have a very disturbing story for you. It was relayed to me by a JW woman that I knew some years ago. She is still very much a witness at this time. She had a very sad upbringing (as so many of us do) and spent time in foster care and being bounced around between her Mother and her various husbands, and foster homes. When this woman was a kid of about 6 she was living with her Mom and husband at the time. For some reason, the Mother used to target her as a child while her many brothers and sisters used to be rarely punished. One time in particular, she misbehaved (some small infraction) and she was punished. When she began to cry and the Mother began to taunt her by calling her a "a big baby". When she cried even louder the Mom grabbed this woman (as a little girl), lifted up her blouse, and proceeded to shove her nipple in the little girls mouth while yelling "You want to be a baby! Well, here! You can EAT like baby!" and tried to force this little girl to breast feed. Of course, this girl was humiliated with her siblings looking on.
If I could, I would horse whip this woman's Mother myself with absolutely no remorse. This "mother" used something natural and beautiful and degraded it to something disgusting; a form of punishment. To ME, this is what is "sick", "twisted", "wrong" and "child abuse". But to decry ususual behavior with such terms, without proof, only trivializes the experiences of others who have, indeed, been the victims of such depraved misconduct on the part of a parent.
Andee
P.S. To Tina (Teenyuck): Yes, we disagree on this subject. However, I have taken none of your post personally and none of mine are intended that way. I know that sometimes, in my writing, I come across much forceful than is meant. Please know that I still like you and very much value your opinions and posts.
One side point to this whole discussion: it points up the fact that peoples experience can be so different, which is why your (yes, you ) opinion doesn't matter. LOL, I winked, but in essence, it's true.
Andee, I was thinking more about this 'sexual stimulation of the breast thing' (imagine that, me thinking about sex, lol); you said
Dutchie brought up the subject that some women have reported being sexually stimulated when breastfeeding. I have also read about this sort of thing. It is rare, but it does happen
I got to thinking about this, and the more I do, the more I think that is probably not the case. I suspect it is common. Perhaps not commonly talked about, but not uncommon. What we know is rare, is sexual stimulation to the point of orgasm. But of course that is rare, it is a rare sexual response even for women who are having sex.
But, being stimulated by physical contact to the breast is not rare, and so I expect that it is not uncommon during breastfeeding. How many women in our society are going to bring it up in conversation, or even admit to it when asked? I appreciate Dutchie's candor, (and "absolutly not" was exactly the right answer to my question, Dutchie, IMO, of course [which doesn't matter, lol]).
Personally I think the jury is out on whether or not this is harmful to the kiddo. If it is harmful, however, in my opionion it is the type of harm that happens to a witness kid when he has to face his peers during flag salute, or that type of thing. Quite survivable, but unpleasant for sure. I don't think it is harmful simply because it causes a big EEEEWWW to ejaculate from some, or even most, observers. I suppose Andee has made that point better than I can.
edited because a well placed "not" can make all the difference in the world.
Edited by - SixofNine on 3 November 2002 18:53:42
Edited by - SixofNine on 3 November 2002 19:34:45
How many women in our society are going to bring it up in conversation, or even admit to it when asked?
Well, I WAS going to bring it up, but Dutchie beat me to it! *lol* (((Dutchie)))
And yes, I have no problem talking about it. But, that is just how I am
I asked a few of my friends if they found breast feeding "sexually pleasurable", well, I would have to agree with you Six, not one said "yes". Would anyone admit it? Probably not. And my own experience, since I did "nurse my young" is that it hurt like hell for the first month or so. After that, it was a great emotional and bonding experience, but in no way sexual.
Remember it wasn't so long ago that women told to take it "somewhere private" when breastfeeding. Comments of "don't let children see you" "do it in the bathroom", and even asked to leave public establishments because they openly, abet discreetly, nursed their babies. So old attitudes die hard.
Andee
Whose opinion always matters.
Well,
If the kid can eat a chicken leg, he probably doesnt need the nutritional benifits of breastfeeding.
& I can honestly say I NEVER had an orgasm while breastfeeding my kids.
And thats all I got to say about that.
