My emotions are so mixed up. Almost like my emotions are in a state of cognitive dissonance-- I am happy that this is being revealed, that there is an accounting going on, that these terrible practices & policies are coming to light, that victims of child sexual abuse might finally be heard & helped -- the WTS and its GB are ABHORRENT and its secretive cultish ways are being exposed --
But I am feeling so saddened again that for so long, I & so many others, including these blind, delusional men taking the stand, really believed this garbage, had faith & trust in it, and it is like feeling the pain anew again, that the things you once believed so fervently & deeply are nothing but a sham.... I'm finding that I'm feeling all that disillusionment all afresh again - like the pain and confusion of a little child hearing there is no Santa Clause- like the pain & confusion of a little child who has no adults to comfort or help him or her -
- it's like I'm feeling myself being torn up again at seeing & hearing the faces & voices of these people, these men, the ones whom I used to believe were f***ing glorious ones, our steady rocks & crags in a windstorm, the stars in Jesus' hand, these noble future princes of the earth -- and how they are so unbelievably stupid and crass and without compassion-- and how incredibly naive they are yet how frighteningly biased, arrogant, closed off, and disconnected they are --
This cult and its deplorable, unkind, inhuman practices needs exposing, but it's gonna hurt ....