Lyrics 4 all those shunned and in pain

by LyinEyes 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  LyinEyes

  I was watching VH1 tonite and saw the new Faith Hill song, called "Cry". The lyrics to it blew me away as it said the things I wish I could say to a few people who have decided to throw me away. Mainly my dad, as many of you know. It is so hard to comprehend your own father, not loving you anymore . I am not sure why my dad has distanced himself from me for so long, d/a myself only gave him reason to ignore me. His birthday was yesterday, and I have thought of him alot today. But trying to get on with my life, and file the pain away, and concentrate on the ones who love me , as I do them.

  So many here are feeling as I am, feeling the pain of an important part of our recovery leaving the JW. That part is accepting that we are hurt by being shunned , by them beleiving something about us that is not true. I know in time, this pain will ease,,, it already has a great deal since I have been able to make new friends and make my life my own. I know I can't change my dad, I wouldnt want to be the one to change him, it wouldnt be just, I would only accept my dad back in my life if he admitted to the pain he caused me and made amends. All he would have to say is , I am sorry. I would even accept that if he truly beleive he is right in his religion and his choice to shun me, if he didnt seem to enjoy it so damn much. I know others here have some kind of contact with their families, my dad has told my sister and I , we are dead to him.

  Anyway....... if I could say a few words to my dad,,,,,, the words to this song, say it pretty good.

  "Cry" by Faith Hill

  If I had just one tear running down your cheek, maybe I could cope maybe I 'd get some sleep. If I had one moment at your expense, maybe all my misery would be well spent. Could you cry a little, lie just a little, pretend that you're feeling a little more pain.

  I gave, now I'm wanting something in return. So cry just a little for me, if your love could be caged, I would hold the key, and conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me. And you'd hunt and those lies , that'd be all you'd ever find and that'd be all you have to know for me to be fine.

  And you'd cry a little , you'd die a little, and I would feel just a little less pain. I gave , now wanting something in return, so cry just a little for me, a whimper would be fine. Some kind of clue that you're doing time. Some kind of heartache, give it a try. I don't want pity , I just want what is mine.

  Happy Birthday Daddy,,,,,,,,,, I wish you were crying just alittle for me
• 

  xenawarrior

  ((((((((((((((((Dede)))))))))))))))))))))

  XW
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  jack2

  ((((((((((Dede)))))))))

  Good post, though obviously a very sad one. For him to consider you and your sister as "dead" to him is very sad indeeed. We can only hope that one day the hard attitude of such people will soften.
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  bigfloppydog

  Dede, I feel your pain, going through this myself, sorry you are so sad. Nothing seems to ease such hurt we feel. I cry for you.

  Much Luv,

  The puppy.
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  onacruse

  ((Dede))

  As you say, so many of us here face the same torturous and painful rejection from those we love.

  Perhaps our greatest solace is that we still love them, whatever they may do to us.

  Craig
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  searcher

  LyinEyes.

  I am so sorry that you are going through this bad time. Although I was never JW I know what 'shunning ' feels like.

  Whwen I was 11 yrs old, I was in juvenile court for accepting 2 chocolate bars that I knew my cousin had shoplifted, he was in court at the same time with 21 cases of shoplifting, stealing from cars and breaking and entering. His mother, my aunt convinced her brothers and sisters that I had ' led him astray ', and that it was my bad influence that got him into trouble, they all ' shunned me '.

  This was especially difficult as three sisters lived adjacent to each other, we were in the centre house, so I could not play with my cousins.

  Mum and Dad were very supportive to me at this time and took my side, so although I can understand the pain of ' shunning ' I can only try to imagine what that pain must be like when shunned by your own father.

  I hope you can find a way to deal with this and have a peacefull life without this pain.

  My thoughts are with you.

  searcher.
• 

  Shakita

  LyinEyes:

  So, so sorry about you and your Dad.

  I did not grow up a JW. When I became a JW, my parents shunned me. They couldn't accept me being a JW. I didn't have contact with my parents for 5 years. In all that time, I remembered both on their birthdays, thought about what they might be doing on Christmas, wondered how they were celebrating Easter.... What a waste! The point of this is, I think the WT so-called religion can never take away our true feelings for our family members. They can take away the opportunities to be with them through the control they have over their physical bodies. But, I think, deep down inside we long for our lost parents/children even though they choose to follow the rigid policies of this wicked organization. I feel for you and all those who are shunned and in pain because their loved ones are so bent on following the WT line so rigidly. There are those who do not, you know. I hope one day your father will see the light. Take Care.

  Mrs. Shakita
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  Billygoat

  (((((((Dede)))))))

  I am in the same boat with my father too. I think no matter how much hatred I may feel for his actions, I will always love him. (Why that angers me so, I have no idea.) I so relate to the scars that type of pain leaves behind. Just when you think you've healed and moved on, something hits your heart again. Just reading those lyrics makes me cry. I just swear to myself that when I have kids, they will NEVER EVER experience that because of ME. I just tell myself that my family will be the happiest, most secure and most loved family ever!

  Love,

  Andi
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  LyinEyes

  I hope I didnt upset anyone with that song, but it just seemed like such perfect words to me.

  I am doing pretty good I think , about dealing with my dad, I have had alot of triggers this week, seeing his family, his birthday, and Wild's dad,going in the hospital( he is fine now). You know a girl always wants her dad approval, and that is what hurts the most, I feel like I have been wrongly accused and judged by him to be a bad daughter,which I am not.And never have been. The worst thing Ihave done is talk behind his back , here to you guys, no one eles will ever know how much I hurt and how at times I show my anger . I feel bad sometimes about saying the things I do about him. But he doesnt really deserve my consideration anymore. He made the choice to do and say the cruel things he has to me, he did it when I was a child and I let him do it as an adult........ until now.

  So, I just wanted you all to know I am making it thru this, I am pretty happy. I agree with Billygoat , and that is what makes me happy, I swore I wouldnt treat my kids the way my dad has. History does not have to repeat itself.

  I wanted to write those lyrics for those who are feeling saddness,,,,,,,, the song is sad, that is true. But if you look close the words show , a person telling someone that they deserve a little brief thought , the time of day. And it is ok to wish that the person who hurts you , hurts right back. I love the part where , it say's " I don't want pity, I want what is mine". I see that as saying,,,,,,,,,, I deserve to be considered , remembered and you should acknowledge the pain you have caused me.I feel the lyrics are being said from a person who is really strong underneath the pain, and it's a pretty good kiss off song.Dede
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  Shakita

  Lyineyes: Reading your post was very painful because it reminded me of all the pain that I put my children through on account of this religion. I wish that I had had a proper understanding of what it meant to truly worship the Father in spirit and in truth. It was never about showing loyalty to a man, a religion, a priest, a rabbi, a circuit overseer, or a member of the Governing Body. Worshipping God properly has always been about our PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with Him. Jesus made that plain when he spoke to the woman at the well. Jesus told her: "But the time is coming and is already here, when by the power of God's Spirit people will worship the Father as he really is, offering him the true worship that he wants. God is Spirit, and only by the power of his Spirit can people worship him as he really is."

  Dede, the next thing I write is directed to your Father. To Dede's Father: Where does it say at John 4:23, 24 that worship of our Heavenly Father will only be accepted by him through a particular religion? Where does it say that worship of our Heavenly Father will only be accepted if we show loyalty to a priest , a rabbi, a circuit overseer, a member of the Governing Body? We all stand alone before God. He reads our hearts and observes our actions to determine the depth of our devotion to him. Hiding behind a religion or a man in religious authority will not reconcile us to God. The Pharisees and Sadducees of ancient times claimed to have a favored position before God and yet they were soundly condemned by Jesus. Why? Because they were far more concerned with their power, their authority, their prestige, than in truly worshipping God in Spirit and in truth. As a result of their cruel interpretation of God's word, the religious leaders brought deep pain and suffering towards the people that they were supposed to love with all their heart. The people were viewed as "people of the ground" by the religious leaders. The common people were unwanted, unloved, and despised by those individuals that were charged by God to "shepherd the flock in their care with love and devotion." Is it any wonder that God rejected these religious leaders and gave the Kingdom to those who truly loved their brothers?

  Dede's father, you think that by your daughter's exit from the Jehovah's Witnesses that she has left the Almighty God and his Son. Is that what the scripture says? I have heard certain Jehovah's Witnesses say to those contemplating leaving, where are you going to go, this is the truth. Is that what the scripture says? At John 6:68 Peter said: "Lord, whom shall we go away to? You have sayings of everlasting life; and we have believed and come to know that you are the Holy One of God." Did you notice Peter said: To WHOM shall we go away to? Leaving Jehovah's Witnesses does not equate with unfaithfulness to God.

  Dede's father, ask yourself this question. Has your daughter really changed for the worse? Doesn't she still deeply love her husband and her children? Doesn't she still display fine qualities such as love, kindness, selflessness, self-sacrifice and caring for others . What evidence is there that she doesn't love God and his Son?

  Finally, I have this to say to you. What if you find out after many years of sacrifice to the Jehovah's Witnesses that those who possess religious authority over you have either outright lied to you or deceived you. Then you will experience the crushing pain of loss and heartbreak. You will realize that all the years of shunning your family have been wasted and that this practice was not something approved by God. Did you know that there are many elders in good standing that have children either disassociated or disfellowshipped and yet they still secretly associate with them? They don't have the heart to cast them away. Why would God disapprove of showing our children hearfelt love and affection? Isn't that what Christlike love is all about?

  One day you will have to take a sobering look at yourself in the mirror. Will you be prepared to face the ugly truth? Don't wait before it is too late and you are suffering a terminal illness to try to make amends. What a waste that would be. We all only have a pathetically short amount of time allotted to us. Shouldn't we use the short amount of time that we have to laugh and love and to embrace life wholeheartedly? Shouldn't we especially show deep love, affection and empathy to our children? They are a part of us. Losing anyone of them would be the same as losing your own limb. What if a child died tragically preventing you from telling your child how much you loved them. Your regrets and self recriminations would crush you forever. I am speaking the words of truth to you. I know in your heart that you know what I have said is true. However, the choice is yours to make.

  Dede, shunning is a cruel and heartless practice designed to keep the rank and file in their places. By perpetuating this practice the WT can ensure that many millions will remain in the darkness. I hope that your father comes to his senses and realizes what a precious treasure he has in you and his son-in-law and his grandkids. Be assured of the Shakita family's love for you and your family.

  Mr. Shakita