I've never met a JW who had confidence....

by MegaDude 20 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Swan

  RandomTask wrote:

  I think a lot of Witnesses have a fear of living their life without being told what to do or what to believe in. They never want to remove life's training wheels. The simple idea that there is "nowhere" to go but to live your own life is completely foreign to them.

  Great observation. I heard my mom and my aunt express doubt to one another around the late 80's or early 90's. It surprised me that they had these thoughts and feelings too when all they had ever shown to us kids prior to that was a solid conviction. In private, they questioned if the society was wrong on something, and then said, "Well, even if it wasn't the truth, where else would we go?"

  They were raised in it just like I was. It was very difficult to venture out, and very scary. If only they had the courage did.

  Tammy
• 

  Celia

  RandomTask, what a great essay you just wrote ! Thank you, I love it.
• 

  TR

  Hey Mega,

  Isn't it sweet when you can blow the elders outta the water! Even ones that are lawyers!(Bruce Hondle, Shadle cong., Spokane, Wa.) Bruce promised me he'd be back after researching what I told him. It's been five years now.....tap, tap, tap, tap,..........

  TR
• 

  MegaDude

  When I was a good little Dub, I always relished defending or discussing my beliefs. Frankly, the average JW has a lot of dirt about other denominations to use as ammo in a conversation. But after a while, some people began asking me some pretty pertinent questions that began tripping me up. I figured it was my fault for not studying enough. So I started to research because I just knew we had the truth. Of course, it didn't lead to confidence in my denomination, but a slow dawning upon my conscious mind that there were problems in the JW doctrinal structure. I could only handle so much at a time. At first I began to figure out there were problems with the blood doctrines. Then the chronology. Then....everything else. lol. Every time I began to discuss my questions with the elders to get help, they got jittery. Even though I still believed in the Organization, I began losing confidence in it because *the demeanor* of the JWs I approached for guidance was very palpably....fear.

  The body language and non-verbal communication of the JWs spoke volumes of truth to me: Your questions frighten me, your questions make me nervous, your questions surprise me, your questions make me very uncomfortable, your questions hurt my spiritual confidence.

  In other words, don't ask these questions. I don't like 'em!

  I have no doubt if I had a chance to sit down with one of the Governing Body it would be the same situation all over again.
• 

  MegaDude

  LOL@TR How sweet it is.
• 

  Swan

  MegaDude wrote:

  Every time I began to discuss my questions with the elders to get help, they got jittery.

  It reminds me of the old Monty Python sketch about the apartment buildings that were built instantly by a psychic using the mental power of his mind. They were perfectly good buildings to live in, as long as you believed in them, but soon as you started doubting, the building would start to shake!

  Tammy
• 

  Brummie

  I was a cocky JW and was confident that I could stand up to anyone....however I never met anyone on the doors that could handle the situation as aptly as you no doubt could, so my guess is that had I met anyone who could match me I would have lost the cocky confidence!
• 

  AlanF

  Great comments!

  I've had plenty of dealings with fearful JWs also. They fairly ooze fear when you talk about certain things.

  Some years ago, when I was trying hard to find any reason to stick with the religion, my parents tried to help. Unbeknownst to me, they contacted Barbara Anderson (who was a long time family friend), who was still a heavy duty JW in Bethel at that time, to see if any of her Bethel friends could answer some questions I had brought up. She told them that her boss Harry Peloyan (editor of Awake!) would answer a brief list of my questions. I submitted the list to my parents. Six months went by and I finally asked them what happened to my queries. They said that the Bethel heavy who got the questions refused to answer any of them because some of them were similar to questions asked by "apostates". I hit the ceiling, but there was nothing to be done. (I learned of all these details many years later, after Barbara became inactive as a JW.) Clearly, if even the editor of Awake! is too afraid to answer hard questions, what can be said of rank & file JWs?

  I've watched discussions on JW-only boards from time to time. Any time someone brings up "sensitive" issues such as blood, child molestation and so forth, the brains shut down and a blind defensive mode takes over the JWs. They simply refuse to deal with the questions. That is pure fear.

  I've had discussions with my parents from time to time more recently, where they pestered me to answer certain questions. As soon as I would give answers they knew they couldn't deal with, the gut level fear reaction set in and my mom, especially, would become shrill and get off the phone. They were particularly afraid when I would point out that their fear proved that they knew something was terribly wrong with their religion.

  It's true that once people grow old in a cult, they often just dig in all the harder. Hard to understand, but some people just can't live without a fairy tale.

  AlanF
• 

  jack2

  This thread and comments are among the most interesting I've read in a while. I would agree that many Witnesses get defensive when questioned about their beliefs. I have one family member who sometimes questions another along such lines and the Witness family member almost always gets upset.

  There is a great degree of fear involved, as has been pointed out. If a Witness were to find that what they have put so much time and effort into - what their lives revolve around - was not really the "truth", the prospects then become frightening indeed, as has been pointed out here.
• 

  Joyzabel

  Great thread, Dude.

  I just want to repeat some of the good points here.

  RT, good thoughts: as the witness looks back they see that what they have done their whole life is everything but enjoy it. The gift of a relatively short amount of time on the earth has been squandered on a gamble of a future reward.

  Along with freedoms thought: I have heard before "Where else would we go?" and that is brought out by just plain old fear."

  AlanF said:It's true that once people grow old in a cult, they often just dig in all the harder. Hard to understand, but some people just can't live without a fairy tale. Thats why I think its hard for me to discuss what I believe now with my parents, they are too old to relive their wasted youth, so I feel I should let them be in their fairytale.

  No wonder all the talks at the KH were rehearsed and written out. Thats the only way jws have confidence in what they are saying.

  All I can do is feel sorry for those left behind in a fairytale. Its just so sad they dont know they are living their "paradise" now out of fear.

  j2bf

  ps, you know, this helps me to be so confident now when talking to jws because I know what is motivating them (fear) and that they can't answer those "deep" questions.