1st POST: A romance with a JW (page 3)

KateWild

No there are many JW couples who love eachother dearly, learn TTATT and leave WT together.

JWs are in a cult and indoctrinated. He needs to learn TTATT before he can fall in love properly with a Non-jw.

Kate xx

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

my conclusion is that JWs love half-heartedly ?

You've visited his congregation and commented about them...

The atmosphere was not authentic ...there was people smiling at eachother and greeting eachother but I am a very intuitive person (keen sense of perception) and I could just smell the hipocrasy and the fakeness. Like fake "love"

You can find both fake love and real love among the JWs. And the word "love" can get thrown around in a congregation so that it is meaningless. In case you haven't learned about disfellowshipping, they call it "a loving provision" where every JW will ignore, shun, don't talk to an offender that has been examined by a judicial committee of elders and announced to the congregation as someone to be treated that way... yes, they shun someone supposedly because they love them. I knew plenty of JWs that would tell me that they loved me... but in reality would be ready to throw me under the bus at their first convenience.

Let's summarize: It's a cult.

Besides the control of the religion, his family experience could cause him to behave in such an unloving way after claiming that he loves you.

Godsendconspirator

I was in the same situation, as many other people were in. I have never once read a story where the JW and the nonJW lived happily ever after.

Don't waste your time sweetheart so matter how good it seems. He will always think the religion is better.

Crazyguy

Run away from him and his religion, if you dont you will regret it the rest of your life.

MissFit

Billy brought up a very important piece:

The shunning. A little fling with you is not harmless to him. Getting involved with you could totally destroy life as he knows it. He is probably trying to decide if you are worth it.

In his mind, he is risking his relationship with his God, his family, and his "friends".

If he "falls into temptation", he can get shunned. No contact ar all with any of his JW family or friends EVER.

Are you serious enough about that young man to be willing to replace all of that?

If not, leave him alone, he will always blame you for his loss.

Illuminated

Hi there,

If you are not invested, which doesn't sound like you've entered a relationship yet, I wouldn't continue further. To help him with the programming will be very challenging. To start a relationship based on seduction, with the result being guilt, wouldn't be a foundation built on that heart to heart/soul to soul, type of love.

In many cases, the programming will come before you.

You can't win a man's heart (especially a cult programmed man's) over with sex.

I've never been a Witness by the way.

sowhatnow

forget about trying to get him to be your boyfreind for now, try to encourage him to stay in school and finish.

college drop outs are worse than high school drop outs, in that you might always feel like a failure.

whos throwing that money away?

maybe if you can get him to stay in school and get his degree, and in the mean time once in a while, present some small issues or bible questions, so that he may start to ponder about the religion. let him learn how deceiving it is.

them maybe just maybe when school is all done, he will be mature enough to let go of the guilt of leaving such a controlling religion. watchtower examiner on you tube does a fantastic job of making a jw think.

by the way, I was told years ago by an elder that you cant get disfellowshiped for marrying a worldly person, you get disfellowshiped for committing fornication beforehand. It depends on how the elders interpret the bible. but no place does the bible say we have to marry a fellow jw. it says marry in the lord, which to me means that when you marry, if you have the lord in your life, no matter what faith you claim to be, you have his blessing, as long as the marriage bed is not 'defiled'.

but then I think those rules were only for those under the law. who knows.

Village Idiot

sowhatnow:

"14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 New International Version

An unbeliever in Paul's mind would be any non-Christian. In JWdom it would be any non-JW.

FayeDunaway

But sowhatnow, I dont think either of them will have the patience/self control not to make a mess of things before he learns ttatt. I Agree with the poster above, angel should tell him what she knows/has observed about the religion, and tell him to contact her if he decides to leave it someday. I think these two may have some good natural Chemistry, it's a shame the freaking religion gets in the way....but angel, seriously, you do not want an uber witness like this guy 'you fornicator! You kissed me!!' to be your husband. He seriously needs to get away completely from the religion before you pursue a relationship with him.

1st POST: A romance with a JW

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