I'm in love with a witness

by Gig 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gig
    Gig

    I'm new to this forum and have been reading all these topics and posts and kind of getting to know some of you. I've always purposely avoided anti-witness or ex-witness opinion before but I'm tired and am looking for an end to it all. Like it says, I am very much in love with a witness, and she is very much in love with me. She has always been dependent on others and when she found the Watchtower she figured she was in the best hands available. She's holding on so tight to her one and only security blanket and doing her best to deny me. I didn't know anything about the Watchtower or Jehovah's witnesses before I met her two years ago, but I did my homework the best way I knew how. I don't deserve any credit for figuring it out because they are so wrong so often. The mind control thing really angers me, constantly blurring the line between almighty God and some wanna be's in Brooklyn. But it's working on her because it's all she's ever had. She doesn't know their present truth much less their history, she just repeats what she can remember she read. So basically I have the advantage of her not knowing and the same disadvantage. I've gotten close a few times when she realized I knew what the Bible says, but then she'd catch herself and realize I'm not a witness and stop on a dime. Personally, professionally, and socially she thinks I'm perfect, which tells you how naive she really is...just kidding, I'm very serious about this. I in fact do know who Jesus is and better yet he knows who I am. I'm comfortable there. I've played the "canidate" long enough, I've got to make a move. I feel confident I can approach her doctrinally or emotionally but I'm no match for the Watchtower and all the "faithful" witnesses buzzing around. The only credibility I have is how many boring, repetitive, mindless, insulting meetings I've sat through. But I've done it because of 1 Corinthians chapter 9 verses 19-27, please read it before you reply and tell me what an idiot I am. Look, I know they try to disguise uniformity as unity, persecution as we must be doing it right, and their best effort as true religion. I have no idea how anyone could be at all satisfied by repeating the same things over and over and never want anything more. The watchtower studies are the worst, they may as well ask you to just read it over again if you want to comment. I've actually offered comments with color and flavor and spirit when I could agree with the point just to keep from screaming at them.

    Oops, off the subject...I really just want some advice. I know what Jehovah's witnesses are all about, the Watchtower, No more no less. I don't need any pointers on arguementation (sp?) I just want some heart felt directions. I don't want sympathy and I don't want to be angry. I want to save this wonderful woman from further damage. It scares the you know what out of me to envision her 5 or 10 years down the road figuring it out. She would feel just like many of you have, that's why I ask you...my friends.

    Thank you, Gig (God is great)

    And yes, I am praying (hope you will too) and no I'm not underestimating the Holy Spirit. I full well expect to see the spirit working in you to help me.

  • kelsey007
    kelsey007

    If she claims to be a JW and has fallen in love with a non-believer she is not much of a JW. You have hope then. Just remind her that it is against her religion to date "worldly" guys so she should quit being a hyipocrite and leave the WT and be happy with her man as a fellow worldly.

  • Cappuccino OC
    Cappuccino OC

    Hey Gig,

    I wouldn't touch a witness with a 10 foot pole.

    capp

  • LB
    LB

    It's good you haven't been sucked in. I was and it was the biggest mistake I've ever made, ever!!

    I respectully suggest you cut your loses and move on. If she doesn't want to move with you then you know she's lost. Many witness girls figure they'll get the BF to join up if they love them enough. If you've had sex then she isn't really a serious witness and she needs to leave anyway because they'll DF her and ruin her life.

  • Gig
    Gig

    I am only a non-believer in the Watchtower, not God our father, Jesus His son, and the Holy Spirit. They don't represent any of them well. I don't want to criticise her, I love her remember? Thanks anyway.

    Gig

  • RandomTask
    RandomTask

    The key is that she has to have a reason to doubt and that has to reside within her, it must originate with her, its not something that you can make her have. If you replace the things that she gets from the witnesses with other things, that starts the process, she has to see the world and the things around her for what they really are, not perfect, but pretty much good. Its also good for her to have friends that aren't witnesses, because if she gets to know how "worldly" people really are, just normal people, then that tends to break down the logic that they are all deserving of death.

    Good luck and prepare yourself for the possibility that nothing you can do will make her disbelieve and she may even push you away, take it from someone who has recent first hand experience.

  • Buster
    Buster

    I gotta tell ya, I admire your sincerity. I will leave it to someone else to come up with some logic for reasoning with JWs. But I would like to throw in a point or two:

    1. It will be quite difficult to talk bible and doctrine with her, while trying to get her to see the problems herself. Most of the reasoning that seems so sound to us will seem like warmed over apostacy to an experienced JW. Especially considering that,

    2. Others in the hall can see it coming. JWs are emotionally weak, in that they have settled for not making their own decisions. But they are not stupid. I would bet dollars to doughnuts that they are working her to be on the lookout for you.

    Good luck

  • reubenfine
    reubenfine

    Welcome to the board, Gig. My take is.......accept her for what she is. If you cannot accept her for what she is, move on. If you try to change her before she's ready she will hate you. When she will be ready could be next week or in 2020. Can you wait?

    Check out "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World" by Harry Browne. A fascinating book on things that can enslave you and how to free yourself.

    Sorry but I can't look the scripture up at the moment. I'm visiting my daughter in California. Best of luck.

    Lyle

  • Guest 77
    Guest 77

    Choices, choices, choices. What can I say except your in the best position to assess your choices. Would flipping a coin help answering your question?

    Guest 77

  • Darkhorse
    Darkhorse

    Hello there. I am also a worldly person who "did their homework" while befriending a witness (non-romantically).

    How long has your friend been a witness?

    Is her family JW's also?

    If she was not born a JW or if her family is not JW's, how or why did she get "sucked in"?

    Just curious, if her family is not JW's, maybe just maybe the scales may be tipped your way a little bit more than would be the case if her family was in. I am saying this because you had mentioned she was a dependent type person - if she is this type and if her family is "in" the possibility of her leaving that religion is almost non-existant. She would not be able to stand up to the shunning and ostracisizing that would occur if she left.

    You mentioned you have been attending meetings with her; I will bet the other JW's are working on your friend to either get you "in" and if she can't, they will try to have her dump you.

    Only time will tell if she is going to be strong enough to choose you over the JW; how stong her dependency on the JW will be the decidiing factor.

    I wish you the best.

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