Im Scared

Shytears

Im scared....im trying to think for my self and make my own decisons on the jw religin.but everytime i go to meetings,they scare me with all the armaggendon bull,and makes me feel bad for wanting to date and do"Normal things".I mean i want to think for myself,it just seems like they think for you....you have to this and follow that because the wts says so. And bullshit to loving and kindness in the congregation could have fooed me!! pfft! all they do is scrutinize you and judge you when you do things differently.How can be be happy living like that.. And why do they always have the need to Tell Tell Tell!!looks like im always told on by my fellow so called jw friends,because they dont want to see me get in trouble......... yeah right!!!!!!! Well when i went to that football game a elders kid saw me hugging on the guy i like and he runs and tells his lil daddy,.so my mom got a call from the elder,saying he was concerned and he was told i was hugging a guy and it looked we were boyfriend and girlfriend.and he said my chest was up against his,umm sorry i cant help that,isnt that what you do when you hug???? These people make me sick.it just gets more pituful everyday.they blow everything out of proportion. im trying to follow my heart but its hard,i wish there was a easier way.i just have to live life day by day i guess and take things easy.

When i heard that Mariah Carey song "through the rain" made me cry,reminds me of the situation im in:) Lots o love,Laura

Edited by - Shytears on 8 November 2002 3:30:40

Vivamus

(( Laura ))

There is no easy way out of this. But follow your heard to do what's right, it will make you happier in the long run.

If you want to talk, feel free to email me.

SYN

Hi Shytears.

We understand what you're going through - it's a very difficult situation to be in. Is your entire family in the Org? That's the worst!

First of all, don't let them control you - remember, the only power they have over you is the power YOU give them. Keep that in mind. I know it's not easy.

Second, do research. Research your arse off! PROVE TO YOURSELF that the Organization is not what it appears to be. You've got half the puzzle already - now create a doctrinal foot to stand on for yourself. There are many websites with excellent information on the Tower that the Tower doesn't want you to have. It's all about control for them, really, and about re-writing their own history.

Third, don't do anything drastic until you're CERTAIN. Then, when you do whatever you feel is correct, do it with all your heart.

All the rest is up to you. If you want to chat, my email is always open...

Regards,
[SYN]

caligirl

((Laura))

I am so sorry for what you are going through right now! It is extremely difficult to swallow the fact that what we are raised with is not the bed of roses that we were led to beleive. And the fear is real - I do not discount that at all. Fear is an amazingly powerful motivator, but not the correct one. There is such a thing as healthy fear, but the fear cultivated in all of us as we grow up as a witness is the opposite- it is controlling and causes us to be handicapped, in a manner of speaking, regarding our ability to function on a normal level. I am by no means suggesting that it is an easy thing to do, but I can tell you that it gets better and easier to think for yourself and stand up for your beleifs as time goes on. Please recognize what a blessing it is that you have the ability to see the whole thing for the farce that it is at your age. So many people do not ever have the courage or personal strength to stand up and say no to that controlling restrictive way of life, and you have done that at 16, though you may not have made it official at this point, you have taken a major step in realizing that you do NOT want to live that way. You are already so far ahead of many people who's thought process is so warped by the fear that they never even get that far. Follow your heart and make a wonderful life for yourself.

derrickb007

Hi Laura,

It might be comforting for you to know that I am still one of Jehovah's Witnesses, and after 30 years, I've come to the conclusion that I must leave it behind me. It scares me too, but I have taken comfort by reading my bible on a daily basis, and praying to Jehovah to help me understand what I am reading. It has worked, and has helped me how to think for myself. The society would like you to believe that this only works if you are one of the annointed, but I can assure you that this is not the case.

At any case, never leave Jehovah. The society would like us to think that when we leave the organization, we are turning our back on god. This is a lie, for we are turning our backs on the society so that we can serve Jehovah.

Psalms 55:22 sums it up nicely when it says "Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you". Remain brave, Laura. It is a frightening world that we live in, but Jehovah is on your side if you allow him to be, and there is no one that can fight Jehovah and win.

Edited by - derrickb007 on 9 November 2002 15:26:53

AwakenedAndFree

Dear Laura,

I'am so sorry for what you going through now.

Shortly after I left the organization, that is almost 2 years ago, I felt this indescribable terrifying fear - fear of having turned my back on God. I started reading God's Word daily and prayed to Him fervently for guidance and understanding. I know that God has guided me through this journey. God has shown me what the meaning of the word truth is : God's word is the TRUTH.

Please remember that Our Heavenly Father will never leave us if we remain loyal to Him only.

DEUTERONOMY 31:8: "And Jehovah is the one marching before you. He himself will continue with you. He will neither desert you nor leave you entirely. Do not be afraid or terrified."

PSALMS 37:28: " For Jehovah is a lover of justice, And he will not leave his loyal ones."

Christian Love,

AwakenedAndFree

Buster

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. But its worth it - even if it is a long road.

A couple of things:

- think about how you will answer when approached for a meeting with the elders. It will be much easier if you have some sense of how you plan to stand.

- think about available family to go to for help, uncles, aunts, grandparents. They can be a good sense of support that perhaps even your parents can be comfortable with.

- No Serious Boys ! - it will just look like an easy way out, but it will complicate things.

Good luck

TR

Hi shy,

Just take the common sense things you learn and walk away. FAR, FAR away.

TR

Big Tex

Listen to your heart and it won't let you down. It's there that you will know what to do. Good luck.

Mum

Laura, you need to talk to someone. Talk to your school counselor and see if he or she can help you through this time of turmoil. Being a teenager is stressful enough; being in a JW household at the same time is even more stressful.

E-mail me if you need to. Don't be scared of the JW's. Their power is over those who give them power. If they "discipline" you, just be polite and tell them you apologize if you did anything that might have given someone the wrong impression. You can hang on one day at a time until you are old enough to be on your own.

In the meantime, get the perspective of a mature professional. Remember that the reason for behaving in certain ways is not to please the guys at the Kingdom Hall but to be true to yourself and avoid harm to yourself and others. Talk to someone before situations arise that might put you in an awkward position.

Im Scared

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