It Could Happen to You.....

pettygrudger

I left the JW's at 16 - df'd actually, 17 years ago. It was horrific. I lost friends, to some extent family etc. etc. - alot of you have been there/done that.

After I had come to my senses spiritually, I still missed some of those closest friendships. I would have to say I have an extremely hard time now maintaining long-term friendships, for fear that eventually they are just ripped away.

A couple of days ago, I looked up through that "Find old Classmates" site, and sure enough, one of my old closest JW friends had registered there. I tentatively sent her an email, thinking I would get a "I'm still a JW so thanks but no thanks", if I received a reply at all. To my surprise, I received a response back within 24 hours - no she was no longer a JW, and she would love to hear from me!!!! A phone call was made that night, and its gonna go down in my history of one of the best days, and one of the worst. For as much as my experience w/the shunning/df'ing thing sucked, and with how long the reprucussions last (if it ever ends), it is worse to know that those you love are experiencing the same thing. My heart broke as I listened to the pain in her voice when speaking of others she loved & now were lost (at least for a time). But, just like our friendship - never give up, as you may just find them again. If it happened to me - it could happen to you!!!

The find ex-jw sites are nice, but register with Classmates too. Not all ex-jw's know where to look, but everyone remembers what schools they attended!!!

And you my oldest, dearest friend - if you found this place as I suggested - Welcome - LOVE YA GIRL!!!!!

safe4kids

Petty! How wonderful for you that you found an old friend! Thanks for sharing that, and yes, she's experiencing pain now, and of course I hate to hear that, but at least she has you to show her the way. I'm happy for both of you

Dana

freedom96

I am happy for you both that you found each other again. Now you can continue to realize what true friendships are all about.

terabletera

Very happy ending. That was nice to hear.

Guest 77

Thanks for sharing a true story with a happy ending.

Guest 77

roybatty

Awesome story. Thanks for sharing!

DakotaRed

I'm always happy to hear old friendships rekindled. Good for you for making the effort and so glad it paid off.

For those in the US, I highly recommend Classmates.com. Other countries have similar sites, but I don't know the names. Since I signed up a couple years ago, I have reconnected with many old HIgh School friends and even found a cousin I have not seen in many years. It's great to hear how they all have been doing and to be taken off the lost list of my High School reunion.

Lew W

Alana

Petty,

That is a wonderful story. I know that I lost several friends when they were either DF'd or DA'd and it tore me us so much inside. I was a 'good JW' and shunned them as I was supposed to, but hated every minute of it.

Later in life, when I made the decision to drift away, I still felt so bad for my treatment to some of these ones. One was reinstated before I left and I said I was sorry, but she was shocked that I would say that, as I was doing "what a Christian should do"....well, now that I'm drifted away her sister has shunned me, but she will still occassionally email, but with the intention of getting me back to the KH.

But, I did look up some other people I knew and sent letters or called them to apologize for my treatment of them. Most were surprised that, first of all, I'd leave JWs since my dad was who he is (P.O. and all) and even more shocked that it hurt me enough to feel like I needed to apologize. One of my best friends, said that she never thought ill of me, because she knew I still loved her and that I wasn't acting that way because I wanted to....but only because I "had to", and that she knew I was smart and would finally figure it all out on my own and that she was waiting on the outside with open arms for me. That was the best ending.

I only had one who did not respond and when I called her she was rude and hung up on me. She is very bitter toward JWs and especially my father, so she had no desire to talk to me or accept any apology or attempt to make amends.

But, I love those with the happy endings!

orangefatcat

I just love it when a story has a wonderful ending and a new beginning. Wishing you both years of happiness.

love,

Orangefatcat.

pettygrudger

It was wonderful - it did more for me than some of the therapy I've had -

Lew & Alana - at least you've been able to rebuild some of those relationships, so you've had some happy endings yourself. I wish everyone could reconnect with at least one, it does seem to make a difference.

Thanks for all the kind replies - and hopefully you will all have similar experiences to share as well!!!

Rhonda (doin the happy dance & she don't dance! )

It Could Happen to You.....

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