So What's Your Party Piece, Then?

by Englishman 16 Replies latest social physical

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  Englishman

  I can:

  Walk on top of a garden roller.

  Play a penny whistle by shoving it up my nose.

  Ride a white swan (although I haven't done that since I was 16).

  So what do you do to entertain your friends, eh?

  Englishman.
• 

  RandomTask

  Speak English! Not , urm, English English!
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  Dutchie

  I can play the violin and I can juggle.
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  Matty

  What are you on E'man?

  Did you literally Ride a white swan or just sing the T-Rex song?
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  Englishman

  Matty,

  Ride a white swan: You might remember that I once mentioned that I worked for trhe RSPB in my youth. Part of our job was to trace the migration routes of British birds, so we used to catch them and attach a numbered ring to the leg of a particular bird in the hope that, at some time, the bird might be recovered, the numbered ring reported, and in this way see how far the bird had travelled between these 2 events. We would actually get about a 1% success rate, which was sufficient for our purposes.

  Usually, we would attempt to trap a specific species of bird, and for this we used mist nets. We would set them up, say, where we knew that oyster catchers roosted, or sand martins or redwings etc, ring the trapped birds and hope for some to be eventually recovered so's we could see their migration routes.

  In the 60's there was some dispute as to whether mute swans migrated or not, so we set out to ring as many as possible so's to find out. We got special training in how to handle an enraged swan - basically you haul it out of the water by it's neck and sit on it . I got quite good at it, and later took bets with my friends as to whether or not I could catch a swan.

  I have a pic somewhere.....

  Englishman.
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  Matty

  Oh!!!! Thanks for clearing that up E'man! Now I know what the Hooper swan is named after!!!
• 

  GentlyFeral

  Poetry, of course. Like this:

  Sommeil Macabre

  He was an earthling once: and now
  The eye turns backward in the head.
  The sleeper is well on his way
  Out of his skin, beyond the reach Of ecstasy or rage or dread.

  The sightless eye slid open, and
  The wordless mind illiterate read
  Black ink upon black pages; found All tongues are foreign now; and turned
  To hungry trembling sleep instead.

  The muscle sags upon the bone:
  The hand too slack to lift the bread
  To flaccid lips that hunger still
  For sweeter food than this, for here
  Even the sugar is made of lead.

  The awkward flesh in mute debauch
  Lies orderly with legs unspread.
  Unpanting lungs make voiceless shouts
  An orgy of silence; still tongues lap
  Dry juices, unseen pink and red.

  The Brownian motion of the soul
  Turns the eye backward in the head
  Suavely & gently; yet it is
  The cosmic fibrillation that
  Will tear the hard-lit stars to shreds.

  Mind you, that one's most appropriate for a Halloween party. And, yes, I do have less creepy stuff on tap.

  GentlyFeral
• 

  Mac

  matty,

  I almost posted a reference to Ride a White Swan, but thought the old Bolan song to be so obscure that no one would know what i was speaking of!!!!!!!

  mac, of the tyrannosaurus rex class
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  LB

  I bring a willingness to dance naked regardless of how much you beg me to stop
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  COMF

  We usually just tank up on chili and beans and then have a fart-lighting contest.