Just wrote my DA letter....

by dubstepped 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • dubstepped
    dubstepped

    My wife and I planned on fading but the elders now want a shepherding call and we are just done. I know that many play the game to try to stay in, but I'm not a game player and neither is my wife. Our families already shun us because we reached out to a disfellowshipped family member. I know people here encouraged us not to play their game but we want closure. It is tough to feel sick every time the phone rings or someone is outside our home. If not now, when we take blood or any number of things we'll be waiting for the hammer to drop. Maybe our exit wakes someone up. Who knows. The last thing we want is a shepherding call or anything of the sort. We'd rather just pull the trigger and avoid contact altogether.

    So, what's the process? We send our letter to a few elders to make sure it is received. How long until they announce? Will they announce at the Halls we grew up in where our families attend?

    Thanks for your input. We feel a mixture of relief and the desire to throw up.

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    You could request in the letter that they inform you in writing before any announcement is made.

    True closure is something this damned religion denies it's people. It's all part of their sick and twisted little agenda to have people mentally enslaved for life.

    True closure is something you give yourself permission to do.

  • cognac
    cognac

    I totally understand your stance. I'm getting to that point myself and it's nice to know others feel that way. Good luck in your journey and I wish you the very best.

    Sending you a PM.

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    You will get a lot of "don't play by their rules" but to each their own.

    My only recommendation is to send it to every single JW you can via e-mail and/or regular mail, and do not send a copy to the elders. Its the only way you will get your side of the story heard. You may eventually wake a few of them up.

  • Zoos
    Zoos
    Enjoy your peace of mind.
  • dubstepped
    dubstepped

    True closure happens when I'm six feet under. That will hopefully be a while. Do for now they will have no ability to interrupt my day and the fear they instilled will dissipate. To allow them to continue playing games with me is to give them power. Our families will give them power but that's on them. We're just stating our authentic place.

    I've never been a pretender and I don't plan on starting now. Everyone else gets to be them and I'll be me. I'm the guy that stands up when others won't. I'm also a tad obsessive compulsive and need a clean slate and to eliminate worries.

    I'm just thankful to have my wife with me.

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette
    dubstepped: Our families already shun us because we reached out to a disfellowshipped family member.

    Nothing quite screams cult as does behavior such as this!

    dubstepped: We feel a mixture of relief and the desire to throw up.

    What a graphic way to describe the mixed emotions you're feeling. Hang in there, it get's better.
  • Marvin Shilmer
    Marvin Shilmer
    • So, what's the process? We send our letter to a few elders to make sure it is received. How long until they announce?

      If you're decided to submit a letter of disassociation then I say go ahead and have some kind of fun with it.

      You could send it to Watchtower and ask it to forward it to whoever is supposed to get it. In this case I'd make Watchtower's policy for dealing with child molestation front and center, and keep it simple and very, very factual and very, very precise. Then let Watchtower send your letter to local elders.

      Alternately you could phone up one of Barbara Anderson's friends at Reveal (a media resource) and tell them you want to submit your letter of disassociation to them and have them deliver it to local elders for you. Either way, you'll have some fun doing what you want to do anyway.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Great! You are my hero. Fading is Ok. Quitting out of principle is heroic. have a great new life!

    I like Marvin's idea

  • Sabin
    Sabin
    OH my god a witness is coming to call on me right now. I`ve opened my mouth on the phone about the commission talk to you lovley peops later.

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