Becoming officially inactive

by All for show 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  All for show

  I don't want to turn in my token time anymore. It's only a few hours counting what we do with the kids. I don't want it counted for their skewed statistics- or to just for the sake of doing it. The husband isn't used in any capacity, so what will happen, A shepherding call before the CO visit? If they even care? 

  We plan on moving in a year, should I just keep turning in time until we move and my card is moved? Or does it not matter. We live all around family and have some in our hall, they aren't a servant, but their tight in the social circles. They wouldn't shun me because of it so that isn't a concern. 
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  OneEyedJoe

  From what I've read on here, you'll probably get a call from your service group overseer or the secretary requesting your time, and depending on how much "fear of man" is in 'em they may press you to make something up even if you're insistent that you've not done anything ("aww, surely you've had a few conversations about spiritual things with your kids that would add up to at least an hour?").  They might do this to avoid the lecture from the CO when he finds that they have a new inactive person upon his next visit.

  Like I said, though, that's just based on what I've read on here.  If it was me, I'd wait until the move, then never give the new elders any contact info (or inaccurate contact info) and stop reporting then.  I guess a lot of it will depend on what your husband's situation is at that time, too.  hopefully you'll be able to wake him up before the move and make a coordinated exodus from the cult.
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  Giordano

  What One eyed Joe said if you will still be attending meetings. Wait out the year and then move.

  At the same time do you need to seriously cut back or totally eliminate exposing the children to the meetings?

  
  
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  Blackfalcon98

  I would continue to turn in the token time until the move. After the move, the new elders will not have any suspicion and wont be looking for you to make a shepherding call on the newly moved in inactive couple. IMHO this will make the fade easier in a year. 

  Best wishes, 

  BF98
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  Stirred

  I faced same wall end of May and chose not to turn in time and started visiting other halls (visiting actually came first and the reactions hastened my awakening). When SO asked for time finally, I simply stated, "I have nothing I want to report at this time." I was not lying that I had no time but stating I had nothing I WANTED to say. He focused on "no time," acted very shocked but only stated he understood how prepping for move was likely taxing my time.  I rarely visit that hall now and he and other elders keep it light and shallow so far.....and for me that is a good thing. 

  All the vest to you and your family.  You have way more pressure with family all around so you may need to find justifiable reason to visit other halls- e.g. Learn a new language, talk with a friend other side of town and go to meeting that side of town that week.  It helped me mentally/emotionally to have a legitimate, real reason to not be at MY hall so I could begin separation and it really helped me.

  Also, I have not officially moved my cards.  My cards are still at old hall and I think I will let them stay there.  i can visit around in new town without being targeted by elders for being on official list, and I am going less often now.  I guess I needed to do this slow versus 

  
  

  
  
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  All for show

  Thanks for the replies. The consensus seems to be to wait. I want to play my cards well, if cornered for time, I would give in to their demands because otherwise I would open my mouth and tell them service was crap along with everything else!

  
  

  We miss quite a few meeting with the nature of our careers and family life. So, the kids don't hear too much on a regular basis. But still, my desire is one day to be totally out. 

  
  
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  Open mind

  By going totally inactive you do pop up a bit more on their radar as a target for shepherding, so that MAY be a reason to turn in token time.

  
  One obscure reason in favor of going totally inactive is it starts the clock ticking towards when the elders are allowed to not pursue judicial action against you. This is particularly true if you've moved to a new area.  There's not a set number of years, but in practice it's usually around 3-5 years.  After that, if some JW from the area you previously lived in sees Xmas lights hanging on your home and tattles on you, the elders have no obligation to hunt you down for a JC.

  
  If you were a particularly "high-profile" JW, (ex CO, DO, Uber-Elder, etc.) they may still come after you anyway.

  
  

  om
  

  
  
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  Honesty

  Hell, it's all fudged by every Jehubbah's Witless anyway so just keep turning in some token numbers until you move.

  You'll stay off the hounders' radar screens and you will still be doing your part in helping the organization post their inflated figures in the yearly report.

  
  

  When you do move, visit all of the local area halls, figure out which one has the most senile elders, fewest rules and zealous kingdumb proclaimers and have your cards sent there.

  
  

  Then attend one or two meetings and mention that your family will be moving out of the area soon.

  Don't let any of the dubs know where you live and your fade will be basically pain free and easy.

  
  

  If your relatives come to visit, attend one of the halls you haven't been to in awhile. If you get love bombed tell your relatives that you are so happy to be in such a loving congregation.

  
  

  
  
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  MissMyHarley

  My wife and I keep up our B.S. @ 2 hrs a month so our pinhead elder can B.S. the pinhead circuit overseer so the pinhead can B.S. the Society or Governing Body or the whatever they are calling themselves now. It seems to work pretty good. As long as the numbers are there they don't care. LOL 
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  Godsendconspirator

  Maybe you could go out in service once a month and lie on your report? They have no proof of your hours anyway and you could just chalk it up to "informal witnessing"